I Loved You
by sea09
Summary: What will happen when Arianna Walker guest stars on Big Time Rush to promote her new show?  Well even Arianna doesn't know what will happen.
1. And So We Meet

**I only own Staci and Arianna. I started writing this the other day when I was bored. I hope you all enjoy it. I'll have a new chapter up in a few days.**

"Staci are you almost ready," I shouted. Just my luck I needed to be on set in a half hour and my friend was nowhere near ready to go.

"Geez Arianna. I was just looking for my purse." Staci said once she met me in the hallway. "So where are we off today Miss Walker?"

Staci and I have been friends since the age of 5 and she went with me to all my gigs. She was my moral support on set plus she loved looking at all the up and coming actors. We were like sisters. I'm the multitalented one and she's the boy ogling one. That's why she moved out to LA with me. To tell you the truth the guys back in Pennsylvania were nowhere near as hot. I'm just so glad my dad found us a house close to his and in a nice neighborhood. You see he's a writer and producer, the main reason I've been acting since I could talk. Also the reason my show is branching from this one I'm guest staring in. Yeah, I've got it made.

"I have rehearsals for "Big Time Rush" today Miss Owens," I said slipping on my sandals. We enjoyed using eachothers last names way more than our first names. It was more sophisticated.

"Never heard of it."

"I didn't either until my dad called to tell me about the audition. Apparently it's some boy band thing."

Staci's face lit up when I said the word boy band. She's been boy crazy since Kindergarten; it's only gotten worse after her eighteenth birthday two years ago.

The drive to the set was silent. The only sounds I heard was the stereo. Staci spent the whole time on her iPhone looking up the show to see just how good-looking or ugly the guys were. She kept touching up her make-up the whole time so these guys had to be cute.

"Ari look at this," she showed me the picture. I'll admit they weren't that bad looking in fact they had this certain charm. "They're guy pretty," she added fixing her hair one last time.

I stepped out of my car and fixed my green tank so it hung over my jeans nicely and didn't cling to them. I was somewhat of a perfectionist. Stacie did the same with her outfit. I looked around, it appeared to be much like any other set.

"You must be Arianna Walker. You're dad only has good things to say about you. Please follow me," a very unimportant woman said. She was probably some assistant or something to tell everyone where to go. If I remembered correctly my first order of business was to record a song with the band. "This is Carlos, Kendall, James, and Logan. You're going to be working with them on "Take a Chance". I gave them a smile and the woman kept talking. She explained how the song was to motivate people to take chances.

"Hi I'm Arianna, it's nice to meet you guys," I said. "This is my best friend Stacie."

"I'm Kendall," the blonde one said.

"James."

"Carlos."

"And I'm Logan," the last one said shaking our hands.

"So let's hear what you've got," James said. It was almost like a dare.

I started singing what first came to my mind Ashley Tisdale's "It's Alright It's Ok"

"_It's Alright, It's OK  
I'm so much better without you  
I won't be sorry  
Alright, OK  
So don't you bother what I do  
No matter what you say  
I won't return  
Our bridge has burned down  
I'm stronger now  
Alright, OK  
I'm so much better without you  
I won't be sorry_"

It wasn't what I was used to singing but it's what played last on our drive to the studio.

"You're pretty good," Kendall said.

"Really good," Carlos said. "You should have an album out. I'd buy it."

"Thanks, but um shouldn't we get to work," I said my eyes locked on Kendall's. I needed to get to know him better.

"Yeah we should head into the studio," Kendall sighed. It was like he didn't want to get to work, but continue our little sing off.

"Logan is super cute," Staci said to me when we got alone time before dress rehearsal. "And I saw that way you looked at Kendall. I think he likes you too, so don't worry about it."

"But Staci, I told myself I wouldn't date someone who's famous. I can't break that oath. He looked so darn cute in that hat. I hate guys who wear hats to look cool. HELP!" I pleaded.

"There's not much I can help you with. Plus I'm meeting Logan for lunch." She smiled and left the room.

"Well at least one of us is happy," I sighed leaving the room to walk around.

"Who's happy?" Kendall asked me.

"Everyone should be happy. But right now it's Staci she's thrilled to be going for lunch with Logan. She left me to eat alone."

"You could always eat with James, Carlos, and I," he said with the same smile I saw in the studio. It was enough to make a girl's heart melt like chocolate on a summer day.

"Sure, why not. As long as James doesn't make me sing again," I joked. I really hate being put on the spot.

I walked to a picnic table with Kendall. The whole time I kept wishing I could read his mind just to see if he liked me. Oaths to yourself can be broken, and I can break it for him. He doesn't seem to be like any other Hollywood boy I dated. He looked nice, not like a heartbreaker who would cheat on you when he got the chance.

"So your dad says you're here promoting your new show?" James questioned when I sat down.

"Yeah Nickelodeon's version of Hannah Montana or something like that. Except I'm not going to be super famous or anything just a girl who sings at rodeos. My dad just wants to see what kind of feedback my guest starring gets to see if it's worth continuing of not."

"I read over the script last night of the show we're filming it sounds pretty cool. But your character is famous isn't she? I'm just pumped I get to ride a bull," Carlos said with is mouth full.

"I guess she is somewhat famous," I sighed.

Fame that's what everyone wants, even my character Natalie wants to be famous. I wanted to keep her real and someone girls can connect to. Being famous for so long makes you want to be normal sometimes, where the only people who knew your names where your friends and family.

"Sorry those two don't exactly have the best manners," Kendall said sympathetically. He then sent glares at Carlos and James.

"No worse than my brother. He's as bad as both of you put together." I could tell Carlos and James looked hurt by what Kendall just said about them and I thought that may make them feel better.

"Are you ready to head to rehearsal now?" Kendall asked me. Gosh those eyes were amazing; I couldn't stop looking at them.

"Of course I'm ready I can't wait to see my baby."

"BABY!!" James shouted.

"Yeah my horse. He's a big baby and also the horse I'm riding in the little fair that we're performing at. Didn't you read the script?"

"Oh yeah that makes sense," Carlos laughed. "I remember a horse now."

The four walked into the studio to begin the days rehearsal.


	2. I Told You So

I walked into my dressing room and found a note on my mirror.

"Knock them dead today sweetie.

Love dad"

That was just like my dad, always leaving me little notes reminding me that I'm his star. Too bad I didn't like his plans for my own show. Yes I loved my horses and singing, but I wanted a show where girls could learn that they don't need to be fake. A show where I could be in high school living a normal teenage life. But no everyone wants to see a show about a show. I guess that's just the risk I'll take. Maybe I can even get him to write Kendall in as my boyfriend. That won't happen, from what Staci told me he already has a girl friend in the show. Her research was good for something. Maybe I will keep my oath. But that doesn't mean I can't date him in real life.

"Hey Ari. So how was lunch with Kendall," Staci asked.

"It was ok I guess. I ate with James, Carlos, and him," I sighed. Kendall will never want to date a girl like me.

I looked in the mirror. Yeah I was pretty; I had deep brown eyes, a cute little nose. Well I thought it was cute. I even had the dark blond hair that can't be bought. I noticed it looked a lot like Kendall's hair, only much longer. I had kissable lips, according to my recent ex. He was more like a best friend than my boyfriend anyway. I'm starting to think he may be bisexual or even gay. No I don't turn guys gay many of the guys I dated are off with supermodels now.

"You don't sound very happy. Ari what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Stace. I think I'm just a little tired. I didn't sleep well last night," I lied. The first thing she would do when she discovered the truth was tell Kendall. I didn't want that. "I'm going to see if Storm got here yet."

"Alright go check on your horse. But if anything is wrong you know you can tell me," Staci said.

I walked out of the dressing room and into the parking lot where they were now setting up what looked to be a fair. I saw a horse trailer but someone was with MY horse. I walked closer to get a better look. It was James standing there petting Storm. It was pretty weird actually because Storm generally lets no one near him without me being there.

"Your horse is beautiful. He reminds me of the one I used to ride. Your dad said his name is Storm why's that?" James said when he saw me approach.

Has everyone seen my father today except me? Was my first thought. Of course I didn't want to be rude.

"He actually has quite the temper on him. Like a raging storm. In fact that's his show name 'Raging Storm'. He doesn't let many people near him. He threw one of my dad's trainers into a wall," I said patting the black horse. "But he's my baby."

"It's crazy that you're calling a horse that dangerous your baby."

"Well I've had him since he was a foal so in a way he's my baby," I said. I felt like an idiot explaining this to him, but now he knew.

"I've got to go get ready. I'll see you later."

"Storm this is so not what I want," I said digging my face into the horse's mane.

All I could see when I opened my eyes was black fuzz, warm rough black fuzz. I could have stayed there all day, just thinking. It made me go back to the days when I was five sitting in the stall with a baby horse curled up in the corner. Maybe that was why Storm only let me anywhere near him, with the exception of James.

"James said I would find you out here," my dad said.

"Dad it's so great to see you. Ok well I saw you just this morning but still it's great to see someone I know. Staci and Logan are an item isn't that a surprise," I said taking my face out of Storms neck. "She always gets the guys. Dad this sucks cow."

"Have you ever sucks a cow?"

"No Dad I haven't. But this is probably what it feels like. Highly lousy. Daddy I don't like losing," I cried.

Yes tears were falling down my cheeks. But I couldn't tell my dad just why I was so miserable. Well he knows part. I hated loosing and the fact that Staci now calls herself Logan's girlfriend was annoying me. I lost she found a boyfriend first.

"Oh Ari, everything will be alright. You're beautiful, even when you cry. Cheer up. Kendall doesn't know what he's missing."

"Dad!" I shouted mostly from embarrassment. "I guess I just gave that away didn't I. Daddy he's different from the other guys I dated isn't he?"

"I've only worked with them a few weeks, but yeah he is different sweetie. Very different, he wouldn't hurt you like the others have. I think he likes you too. If only your mother where here to help you instead of me. I wish she would have moved out her with us. I miss her."

"Thanks dad. I miss mom too. I probably should go get my make up fixed. I have a feeling I look like a clown."

I couldn't wait to go home and just get away from it all. So I could just "forget about Kendall and him being a stupid boy. Of course that didn't happen because I walked right into Kendall on my way back to my dressing room. I'm glad my dad gave me a tissue to wipe away the make-up that smeared from crying.

"I knew I would find you eventually," he said to me. His blue green eyes sparkled in the dim light of the hallway.

"Well here I am ready to get today over with."

"It has been such a long day hasn't it. It's soon over we're just going over the fair scene where we're singing. They just want to make sure it all looks right. They told me to stay away from that horse of yours."

"You know he may just like you. We share the same hair color it may comfort him," I said looking at Kendall who could not keep his eyes off of Staci. "Well I really need to change and fix my make-up."

I knew one thing and one thing for sure Staci was not coming with me tomorrow. What was it with her that shiny brown hair that came from a bottle? There was no way I was dying my hair just for some stupid guy's attention. I had my make-up fixed and changed into a different top from wardrobe. Maybe I was dreaming when I thought Kendall was looking at me back in the studio. Staci was standing right beside me.

I did everything asked of me during rehearsal mainly because I just wanted to go home and get away from Kendall. I always found a way to get my heart broken. This time I brought it on myself. A breeze blew making me shiver. Even California could be cold during the winter months. I was just glad rehearsal was over. It was like the breeze ended everything, because I stopped worrying about Kendall and instead looked over at James who was back with Storm.

"There's just something about him," James said helping me put him back in the trailer. "You really do have a beautiful horse."

"Thanks. Not just for the comment but for helping me get this monster into the trailer," I said with a smile.

"He's no monster just a big sweetheart." He pat my horses forehead something I was even afraid to do.

"I'll see you tomorrow and thanks again for the help James."

"See you tomorrow. I was thinking….would you like to hang out this weekend? Maybe go riding?" James asked.

"Is it because you want to see Storm again? Because he'll be here tomorrow." I didn't realize how harsh I sounded.

"No I just want to spend some time with you. You seem like an amazing person. I know you don't know me that well but I'd really like to hang out with you this weekend."

"James that sounds great. We can go riding on Saturday. I was going to go riding anyway and having someone else there would be fun."

Maybe I didn't have to be sad after all. James wanted to do something over the weekend. I finally for once during the long day felt happy. I had won. I may not have beaten Staci but I won something.

I drove my dad's truck home and placed Storm in his stall. While I did I received a text message from James. It made me smile even though all it said was "Good Night. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget your monster." I couldn't wait to see him again.


	3. He Kissed Me

**This chapter is mostly Arianna and James but the two finally get together. Just to go over it again I do not own the guys of BTR just the other characters.**

"You go home late," Staci said when I walked through the door.

"Staci I really don't want to talk to you right now. I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed." I said. But what I really wanted to say was 'I hate you so much Staci. Don't even pretend you don't know why.'

I walked up to my room, the master bedroom, of the mansion my parents bought my on my nineteenth birthday. It was very elegant with white walls, hardwood floor, and black furniture. I couldn't take in the beauty of my room tonight. All I could think of was Kendall looking right past me and at my friend. Then I remembered my talk with James, it made my heart skip a beat. I pulled out my iPhone and texted him back "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." What I really wanted to say was 'I can't wait to see you tomorrow.'

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I did the prior day. I went to take a shower and found another note from my dad on a mirror.

"Ari, Staci and I have left already. I thought you could use more sleep. The keys to my truck are on the counter. I'll see you soon. Love Dad."

Just the opposite of what I wanted, Staci on set. Throughout my whole shower I could only think of her flirting away with the guys. I hated her for that. Two days ago Staci was like a sister to me and now I could only think of her as a back stabbing jerk.

I arrived on set a half hour later and was rushed into hair and make-up and then wardrobe for dress rehearsal. They threw me in this cowgirl get up; skinny jeans, plaid shirt, and cowboy boots. It would have looked cute, on a three year old at Halloween. I was just glad my hair wasn't in pigtails, but curled loosely and hanging over my shoulder. They took the country girl thing a little too far.

"Hey look I'm a cowboy," Carlos shouted when he saw me in the hallway. "I get to go see the bull later. I'm just so excited they made my character ride one."

"You're so crazy Carlos. In a good way. But still very crazy. Wait you're not riding that thing today are you?"

"Yup, I need to get some practice. It's not some big mean bull though. Not like your horse."

"Do me a favor and don't hurt yourself. Can you save that for after filming or just not do it," I asked him.

"I won't Arianna. You don't need to worry about me."

I walked outside to where the fair was set up. It was really coming along. If I didn't know it was a parking lot I really would have thought it was a fair. I saw a popcorn stand sitting next to a cotton candy stand. There was a carousel, a ferris wheel, a ball toss, and many other attractions. It was nothing like the fair my dad took me to as a child back in Pennsylvania but it was really close. I wandered through the set up taking it all in. I walked by the stands all of which were up and running for rehearsal that day, even the rides were running.

"Hey cowgirl," a voice from behind me shouted.

I turned around seeing James walk up to me. "Hey. The set is great. It reminds me of the fairs my dad used to take me and Staci to." I cringed when I said her name. She was such a backstabber.

"It is pretty amazing. I know I don't know you or anything but what's wrong with you and Staci? She showed up with your dad today."

"Nothing. I just can't stand that she's a huge flirt. By the end of the week she'll have all of you wrapped around her manicured fingers. Begging her to date you. She's such a man eater. Excuse my horrible mouth." I said.

"Nah she's not my type. I'd sooner drink toilet water than beg her to date me. You really blew me away yesterday in the studio. Carlos was right you are really good."

"So what is your type James? And thanks."

"You are," he said kissing me.

It was a quick, shy, warm kiss. Yet long enough to make me feel like I was flying. I wanted it to last longer than just a moment so my lips could stay on his. His lips were warm and he smelt amazing. Like laundry detergent and a faint scent of cologne I just couldn't think of the name.

"Is that right? So to you Staci is?"

"Like what you said a man eater. She already has Logan and Kendall wrapped around her fingers. I'm sorry about the whole Kendall thing. I had I feeling you liked him. But trust me I'm not stupid like him."

"I hope not James. I can't stand to have my heart broken again. I've always only dated stupid guys. It's nice knowing you're not stupid," I said kissing him on the cheek.

"So I take it you…um feel the same way then?"

"James I was stupid not to notice you yesterday. I kind of looked at the first guy and said he's going to be mine by the end of the week. Sadly you were in the back. I wish you would have been right up front. Then the both of us didn't need to be so miserable yesterday. Well miserable until we met later…"

He cut me off with a kiss, this time much longer than the last. His lips tasted like orange juice and Chap Stick. They were surprisingly smooth, and I could feel light stubble brush against my chin. Again he took me flying through the skies with him. Maybe I should have looked around better yesterday then go straight to Kendall. I was happy there in his arms. They were strong and his body was warm. I felt the heat pulsating off of him the whole time.

"You talk way too much, Arianna." He said when he pulled away. "I like that you're not afraid to open up. It's sexy in its own little way."

"As much as I love this, I think we should go get ready with the rest of them." I really didn't want this moment to end. I loved being with James next to the french-fry stand.

Rehearsal flew by rather quickly. I didn't even realize it was now ten o'clock at night. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. I didn't realize just how much we had gotten done that day until I was reminded by Staci.

"I can't believe you ran through the whole show today. I just wish I could come with you and your dad the next few days but I have to go back to Pennsylvania. My sister's basketball team made it to states and I told her I would be there." She said once we got back home.

I knew I should have been happy but staying in my house alone scared me out just a little bit. Yes there was a security system but I was still going to be alone in a huge house. I also had James as my boyfriend now so there was nothing I needed to worry about if she was on set.

"Can you give Logan my cell number? I haven't given it to him yet and I'd really like to talk to him while I'm back in PA."

"Sure I'll do that."

My phone lit up with a text from James. "You didn't say goodbye." "Sorry I needed to get Staci back to my place to pack, she's headed home tomorrow." I replied. He didn't need the details I could tell him that stuff tomorrow.

**I know this one was slightly shorter than the others. Please review. I'm thinking of having Staci's plane or car crash, but I don't know if I want her to survive or not. Or if I should keep her in the story.**


	4. Forgiven

**So Staci is going to live, because that would just ruin my story. I still want to keep writing and not end it right away. It's too early for misery, although she is still going away to Pennsylvania. Yes BTR is not mine; yes I forgot to say that in Chapter 2. I can't believe I popped out 4 chapters in such a short period of time. I will warn you updates will begin to dwindle down a bit, but they will not stop.**

The big house was quiet without Staci. But she was really close with her sister and wanted to go see her game. I didn't blame her. If that was my brother playing I would have gone to Pennsylvania too. But he's in New York on Broadway and I always went to see him on opening night. So I understood. I told her to wish the team luck for me and then Staci was on her way.

"You didn't say goodbye," James said when I got out of my dad's truck. It was my job to bring Storm to and from the set, so he had my car.

"Yes but I am here to say hello," I kissed him on the cheek. "Staci needed to get back to pack. Her sister's basketball team made it to states and they're playing tonight. I'm sorry."

"I guess I forgive you, but Logan won't."

"Oh that's right. Do you know where he is? Staci wants me to give him her number."

"I don't think he's here yet. Everyone else is. You ready to head into hair and make-up and wardrobe?" He asked me.

"No not really, but we should probably go get ready. Apparently we're filming today. If you see Logan can you tell him I have something for him from Staci?'

We walked to the studio and saw the cameras lined up. I tried not to trip on the chords, preventing myself from looking stupid. Not that James would have cared, but Kendall was standing at the end of the hall with Carlos. They would have thought it was hilarious. The set sure was busy with tons of people running around making sure we all went to the right place and were ready to go.

"Hey guys," I said once we reached them.

"They blew a fuse in there. So they're not ready," Carlos said about the hair and make-up room.

"Lovely," I said sitting on the floor. James then joined me.

He held my hand and said "What's lovely? It happens all the time."

"He's right there's never a day where something doesn't go wrong. When everything goes right then something's wrong," Kendall said when he and Carlos joined us on the floor.

"I take it they blew a fuse again," Logan said plopping down beside Kendall.

"Yup. They always blow a fuse in there," Carlos sighed.

"Staci wanted me to give you this," I said handing Logan an envelope. "She couldn't make it today she's back in PA at her sister's basketball game."

"Logan's got a love letter," Kendall teased. I could tell he was angry about Staci not liking him. But I was angry that he didn't like me, so let him be miserable.

"It's just her cell number," Logan said punching Kendall in the arm. "And a card that says 'Have a great day'. It's not a love letter!"

An hour later we we're all ready to go. I met James outside my dressing room when I was completely ready. He looked cute in the swim trunks he needed to wear for the pool scene. They were red and his white tank top matched the stitching. I didn't even realize that the outfit they put me in was the same color as his. I had on a white bikini with a red dress.

"I forgot to give you something this morning," he said grabbing me and giving me a kiss.

I could sense he didn't want it to end and neither did I. Eventually I couldn't stand being on my tiptoes any longer. But I knew our lips were locked for about thirty seconds. I was shocked he didn't fight to get his tongue in my mouth. He was content with our lips touching. It was really sweet. Again his lips tasted like orange juice but now there was a hint of toothpaste.

"We match," I said when I lowered myself. "Well the colors do."

"You are just too cute. You know that? Gosh Arianna…"

"I know. But it's just we match."

He laughed when I repeated it and led me toward the pool area. It was really pretty my second favorite next to the fair. There were a lot of people already there. I looked at James and he smiled. He showed me around the pool area and other parts of the set.

"This is Erin, her character Camille is an actress so she's pretty crazy. Don't get worried when she slaps me it doesn't hurt," James said.

"I'm Arianna Walker, my dad's one of the new writers," I said.

"Is it true you're dad made you audition for Natalie? Because I still can't believe it," Erin said.

"Yeah he did. I didn't audition in front of my dad though. The casting director didn't even know I was his daughter until they choose me for the part," I replied.

Just then it started raining. I saw Kendall walk up behind James and shove him into the pool. Before I knew it all four boys were in the pool, laughing and having fun. I guess the rain meant the scene around the pool wouldn't be shot today. Carlos grabbed my ankle and pulled me in, with the rest of them. I screamed as he did so.

We were ushered out of the pool to go get ready for the scenes at the recording studio. I was excited to hear how the song turned out.

I walked into my dressing room to find another note from my dad. "Sweetheart, Here's your script for next week. We want you to do another episode with the boys to get more feedback. You and James might like this one. Love Dad." Ok so James and I were going to like this episode filming next week. The plus side was I got to spend another week working with him.

I dried off and went to go get my hair and make-up fixed. Once again my hair was done in loose curls. I liked my hair that way I felt like a princess. I was dressed in skinny jeans, a lavender tank top, and tan cardigan. Now I really felt like a modern day princess.

"Hi Dad," I said when I met him outside the mock studio.

"Hi princess, I did tell you Natalie is a princess didn't I. But that doesn't come out until next week," my father said.

"She's a what?"

"A princess, sweetie. We're dropping the whole cowgirl thing."

"So wait I'm a princess now. How far from reality are we going with this? Daddy I thought you were going to listen to me."

"Yes but you see Natalie doesn't know she's royalty so she lives a normal life."

"This is crazy," I screamed. "How many times is this character going to change dad?"

"We're still trying to work some things out."

I walk away before I could hear anymore. My dad was just digging his hole deeper and deep. I was starting to think the show wasn't going to work. I hid in the corner and thought things over. An idea popped into my head about Natalie. Couldn't she just be a regular teenage girl trying to make it in show business? I would bring the idea up to my dad when filming was over.

"What are you doing in the corner?" Kendall asked when he saw me sitting there.

"Thinking"

"About?"

"Natalie, my dad is completely ruining her. I really don't want to think about it right now," I sighed.

Of course I didn't expect Kendall to pull me off the floor and hug me. "Parents only want what's best for their children and sometimes the mess up. But everyone messes up once in a while. Sort of like what I did with you. I guess I just thought I'd end up with you, and I needed to put out effort and not sit around waiting for it to happen. I'm sorry Arianna," he said. His eyes looked sympathetic.

"I know. Everyone screws up sometimes. I forgive you for being a total ass," I said. "I think I heard them calling for us."

"Yeah you're right."

Filming went well. Way better than what I thought. We needed to stop every so often when the guys would do something bizarre. It was loads of fun, knowing the rehearsing we did the last two days was finally paying off. I enjoyed watching the guys really get into their play fighting over me in the studio. Logan broke a chair in the process, that's how much fun we were all having. We got way to into the acting part and I actually felt like I was Natalie. Now I just had to get her to be a normal teenager, without wanting to rip my father's head off in the process.

"You're not leaving without a goodbye tonight. You know that right, Miss Walker," James said.

"Oh I know that Mr. Maslow. Seeing as how you were so upset about it yesterday," I teased.

He kissed me lightly and then said. "I heard you and Kendall had a heart to heart about him being a total jackass. Is that true?"

"Yeah. I got mad at my dad and he helped me get over it, then he apologized for being stupid. You were still getting ready. I'm sorry," I said kissing him on the cheek before getting into my dad's truck and driving away. I didn't want to leave but I knew I would be there all night long.

**I couldn't leave Arianna be mad a Kendall forever. She has to work with him until her dad straightens her show out. Please review, I can handle whether you like my story or not. Let me know and I can try to make it better.**


	5. Goodbye

**Ok everyone BTR is not mine. This chapter is depressing. I will not tell you why, it is for me to know and you to read and find out.**

"Good morning, Carlos," I said when I got out of my dad's truck. "It doesn't look like it's going to rain today."

"That's a good thing. I wouldn't want to have to pull you into the pool for a second day in the row. I also want to ride that bull again. It's loads of fun," he said.

"I still can't believe you ride it and not a stunt double."

"It was supposed to be, but I begged them to let me ride. I gotta go practice riding. I'll see you later."

"Have fun and please be careful." I was starting to sound like his mother.

I walked to the trailer and undid the latches, to back out my horse. He finally got his shot to be on the small screen. But what I was more worried about today was proposing my idea to my dad. I just hope he went along with Arianna being a regular teen who sings in her spare time. I wanted her to be real; like fail her driver's license test, get dumped, the whole nine yards. Maybe should could get discovered but mostly I wanted her to be a normal teenage girl.

I felt arms wrapping around my waist. Then a voice said "Today's going to be the most amazing day ever. Do you want to know why?"

The voice wouldn't let me turn around. I replied "Why is it going to be the most amazing day ever?"

The person turned me around and said "Because I get to spend it with you." James then kissed me ignoring the people around us getting out of their vehicles. It was like he and I were the only two people in the parking lot. "That's why it's going to be amazing."

"Oh, well that's a perfectly good reason for it to be amazing. You see because I thought it was because of the weather. Being with me works too." I kissed him on the cheek and ran toward the studio.

"Thought you would get away didn't you," James said picking me up off the ground.

"I wasn't trying to get away from you. I just really want to get today started and you would have talked to me for hours," I looked at him. "You're not going to let go are you?"

"Nope," he said and carried me to my dressing room. "Now I'll let you go." James wouldn't put me down until he got one more kiss.

"I can't stand you," I told him once I was back on the ground.

"That's ok I can't stand you either," he smiled and walked away.

I walked into the dressing room and turned on the radio. Music quickly filled the small room. I starting singing along and dancing around the room. I was really enjoying myself until the door opened.

"Good morning Miss Walker," Staci said.

"Staci, you're back early," I said hugging my friend.

"Well I start classes tomorrow so I needed to get back ASAP to get prepared. I did tell you I'm starting at UCLA didn't I?"

"No I don't think you did tell me. But the both of us have been so busy," I replied turning down the radio.

"I'm sorry about the whole Kendall thing. Guys are incredibly stupid. Logan told me."

"So I take it the whole world knows," I sighed. Just what I wanted everyone to know my problems.

"He wasn't your type anyway, Ari. You're way better off with James. The two of you look so cute together. Like your skinny jeans and Uggs."

"Stace do me a favor. Don't make analogies ever again. But I thought I could have loved Kendall. I really did. But I guess I'm a huge moron who doesn't understand anything. You know I really should head over to hair and make-up."

I hated rambling but that's exactly what I was doing. I walked out of the door and down the hallway. Why did she bring up Kendall? I was doing so well pretending I never had feelings for him. Of course you can't always forget certain things. The thing I couldn't forget the most was the day my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It was why she wouldn't come out to California with my dad and me. That entire day I cried until I made myself sick. The thought of my mother dying was heartbreaking, but my mom told me to stay strong.

While getting my hair fixed I began reading over the script for next week. The first thing I noticed was that Natalie is now a permanent character until further notice and that she's a normal teen. I guess that's what James and I were going to like. I admit I was really bummed about not being able to have my own show as soon as I thought.

"Sorry about the show sweetie. You see mom's not doing too well and I don't want you to start this show and then something terrible will happen. I'm flying you back to Pennsylvania tomorrow to see her," my dad said.

"You mean she's going to die soon?" I asked tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Arianna I was going to tell you sooner but you seemed so happy and you know how your mother hates bringing you down," my dad said hugging me. "You can head home if you want."

"No if mom were here she'd say finish the filming and that's what I'm going to do. Dad I really want to stay and finish, not just for me but for mom."

"It's up to you. I'm so sorry Arianna, we'll see her tomorrow. I'm going to be at the house getting things ready. Call me if you need anything."

I walked through filming like a zombie. My mom was going to die soon and there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening. Things just starting getting good and now they were turning bad. It started to rain as I walked through the parking lot with Staci.

"You didn't tell James did you?" she asked.

I shook my head no and handed her the car keys. I was in no condition to drive back to the house.

I stared out the window blankly during my plane ride back to Pennsylvania. I knew my mother was dying, and I knew I may not make it back in time to see her alive. Mothers weren't supposed to die before their daughters said goodbye. It was some sort of unwritten rule.

The plane ride was over, and I followed my dad to a car to take us to the hospital. It was such a depressing atmosphere. As soon as I walked in I started crying. I could sense something was wrong. I rushed up to my mother's room and grabbed her hand.

"Mommy I met this great guy. You'd really like him. His name is James," I said trying to catch her up on my life.

I didn't get an answer but kept talking. "I really miss you mom. I should have never moved out to California. I should have stayed here with you. I love you mom." Just then the machines starting beeping like crazy and I couldn't control my tears. Doctors were rushing in the room and asked me to leave. The only problem was I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Everything went blank and I hit the floor hard.

I woke up in my own hospital bed with a nurse telling me I had passed out. "I need to see my mother," I shouted getting out of the bed.

"Your dad will be here soon to take you to the funeral," my aunt said patting my shoulder. It was Saturday two days after my mother had died. I was a mess and couldn't stop sobbing.

I cried throughout the whole service. I still couldn't believe my mom had died. I planned my final words to my mom since I woke up after passing out. I stood in front of the crowd that gathered at the cemetery and said. "I loved you mom. And I will never stop loving you. I'll miss you mom. Someday I'll join you, but for now goodbye."

That night I got a phone call from James.

"I'm really sorry about your mom. Arianna I really wanted to say this in person…" He said.

"James if you want to break up with me I'm completely fine with that," I cut him off not letting him finish.

"Arianna I love you," James said. "I just really wanted to be with you when I said that. I know you're going through a hard time and I'm telling you this at such a stupid time. But Arianna I really love you. I've loved you since I saw you on TV when I was 15."

"James, I think I might love you too. I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah Monday."

**I know this one was really sad. But I've had it planned since I started writing. The title comes from Arianna saying "I loved you mom." The title will definitely come up again. Please review if you read, good or bad I really want to know what you think.**


	6. Shut Up

**Sadly BTR is not mine. If you haven't read the past chapters or need to be caught up, Arianna is guest staring on BTR her dad is a writer with Nickelodeon, she had a huge crush on Kendall but realized he was a jerk and is dating James. Her friend Staci is with Logan. Arianna and James bonded over her horse and then Arianna's mother died lending me my title "I Loved You." The phrase comes up often so it tends to fit.**

I arrived on set Monday after the funeral. Everyone was looking at me funny and were afraid to talk to me. It was as if I had a deadly disease or something. I just wanted to scream that nothing was wrong with me. That would have made everything worse. Did they expect me to be depressed or something? The first thing my mother told me when she was diagnosed was not to cry for ages over it. She told me she would rather me live my life and not cry over her dying. And that's what I was doing, living my life.

"I'm sorry about your mom," Carlos said giving me a hug. "We really missed you."

"I missed you too," I told him before he walked away.

At least someone acknowledged me being on set.

"Good morning gorgeous," James whispered in my ear. I never let people sneak up on me, but he was silent.

"I was thinking about you yesterday. It was snowing back home and it just made me wish you were there with me to see it," I sighed thinking about the weather back home. There was nothing I missed more than snowflakes falling from the sky and kids sledding down the street before the plows made their runs.

"I'm sure it was beautiful, but nowhere near as beautiful as what I'm looking at now," he said kissing my forehead.

"You're so cheesy James. Way worse than some romance movie," I joked. "I'm sorry about our date. This weekend we'll go riding."

"You couldn't have prevented it. But this weekend we'll do something special. You do know I wasn't lying when I said I loved you."

"I know you weren't. I wasn't lying either. I like you better than the other guys I dated. They were jerks compared to you. Gosh now you have me being all cheesy. But really, I've never met a guy like you before."

"I'm glad." He grabbed my hand and led me down the hallway to the mock studio to rehearse our first scene.

"The two of you look like little five year olds walking to the park to play on the swings," Kendall said jokingly. We did look like children so he was right.

"Kendall just shut up, please," James sighed.

"What's your problem?" Kendall asked.

"Can you stop being a bunch of jerks!?" I shouted. "Is it absolutely necessary to argue? No it's not. Let's just try to get through rehearsal please. I'm not in the mood to deal with your bull today."

"Way to piss her off," James said. He then turned to me and mouthed the words "I'm sorry."

"Sorry Arianna," Carlos said. The other boys followed.

What was with me today? Every little thing was setting me off. It was like I was a bomb just waiting to explode. I didn't want to snap on the boys I sounded like their mother or something. That was so not me. I must have looked really confused or something because they guys looked at me like I had three heads.

"What?" I asked.

"I think you should sit down," Logan said sitting me on a chair. "You don't look too good."

He was right. I felt like I was going to pass out again. I was handed a bottle of water to drink before anyone let me stand up.

"When was the last time you ate or drank anything, Arianna?" my dad asked me when he walked into the room.

"Right before mom passed away. I guess I'm letting it get to me. I'm sorry dad. I'll eat something at lunch. I promise. James will make sure of it, and I'm almost positive Logan will too."

"I'll tie her down if I have to Mr. Walker," Staci said when she walked into the room and gave me a hug.

"She will dad. She would force feed me."

"I know Staci would. You two are like sisters." My dad said before leaving us to finish rehearsal.

Once we finished rehearsal for the morning Staci and I met the guys outside in the parking lot for a little picnic. Staci grabbed a blanket out of my car and set it on the ground for us to sit. It wasn't our best lunch idea but it was nice to get outside for a few minutes. I brought the radio out from my dressing room to liven up our lunch. Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" was silently playing in the background and Staci started singing along. Before I knew it we were all singing with her dancing around.

"You're such a looser," Logan said to Staci pulling her into a hug.

"No I'm not. You're the looser," she kissed him on the cheek and it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

"Whatcha looking at," James asked me.

"That cloud up there. It looks like a bunny rabbit."

"Nah I think it looks like an airplane," he said looking up into the sky. "I could stay here all day with you, the guys, and Staci its pretty fun."

"No it's super fun," Carlos said running around the parking lot with Kendall chasing seagulls.

"Do you really think you're going to catch one," I shouted over to them.

"No but if we do you're taking it home," Kendall shouted back.

"Oh thanks, just what I want a seagull."

"Hey I live there too and we do not need a seagull," Stacie yelled and ran after Kendall and Carlos.

"Guys I think we should head back inside now," Logan shouted loud enough for the people inside to hear.

We walked inside and most of the people were looking at us. I guess Logan's yell brought more attention to us than we thought. I was ok with that being with them took my mind off of everything. The studio made me realize I can't always forget everything and that sometimes reality isn't far behind. But If I keep looking forward I can't see what's behind me.

I looked at everyone once the day was over. They looked exhausted. I'm sure I looked the same. But Kendall looked like if he had a pillow and a blanket he would be out cold on the floor and we wouldn't see him until the morning.

"You look tired," I teased.

"Not as tired as Logan he can't even move," Kendall replied.

"Hey where do you think you're going," James said when he caught up with us.

"Well I'm going home but I'm not sure about Arianna," Kendall answered before he walked away.

"I'm going for smoothies with my dad. I'd invite you along but we're just picking them up and going home. Why?" I looked at him.

"Because I hate when you run off like that all the time. You're not one for goodbyes are you?"

"Sadly I'm not James. I hate goodbyes almost as much as I hate liars. Even though I know I'll see you tomorrow, I still don't want to say goodbye."

"What about an I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I guess that works. But I don't want to say goodbye to you James, or I'll see you tomorrow. I just don't want to lose someone who's close to me. At least not for a really really long time."

"And you won't, well me at least. I can't promise that. But I will try my hardest to be here tomorrow just to see you. Jeez Arianna, I love you to death."

"So you don't think I love you either. James the whole time I was back home I wished you were there with me. My family was no help for making it all better and you could have been great help," I said wiping away the tears that were forming.

"Arianna don't you dare start crying on me," he said lifting me up to kiss me. "I don't want to see you cry."

"I'm sorry. I hate crying. It's just a lot has been going on. I can't help it. You know I should really get going my dad and Staci are waiting. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes bright and early tomorrow. I love you."

"Love you too James."

**Please review. Good, bad, or even if you have a few ideas you want to throw my way. It will definitely help. Thank you so much for reading.**


	7. Nightmare

**Oh yes it's another update for Arianna. The guys from BTR do not belong to me. **

"You look like you just rolled out of bed," Kendall said when I rolled out of my dad's truck. Staci's been taking my car to classes so my dad drove me to set.

"I did. I didn't sleep at all last night. I kept having nightmares. Please don't make me bring them up again," I sighed. I was so exhausted from being up all night. I had nightmares of the last time I saw my mother. I hated it. Only in my dream my mom was saying 'Save me Arianna. Only you can help me.' I cried the whole night. It was weird that they just started happening and not the night her death occurred.

"Let me help you inside at least," Kendall said.

"Thanks Kendall, I was going to take her in but you can. I need to meet with the other writers," my dad said locking his truck.

Kendall wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me inside. I could feel his grip tighten every time I would stumble. His body was warm against mine and I hoped that James wouldn't see us.

"Thanks Kendall," I said once he sat me down. "I'm so glad I'm not in any of the scenes today. I have a feeling they would have had to run them a billion times."

"I'm going to find you somewhere quiet where you can get some rest. You look exhausted," he pat my shoulder and walked down the hall.

"Hey are you ok," James asked when he saw me sitting on the floor.

"I didn't sleep last night. Kendall's looking for a place for me to rest," I sighed resting my head on his shoulder. "I kept having nightmares about my mom."

"I'm so sorry Arianna. I'll come check on you whenever I get the chance today. You just get some rest," James said looking at me with big sad eyes.

It wasn't long before I was asleep on his shoulder. I felt comfortable there like nothing bad could come and get me. Of course all the bad things were in my mind. Moments later his weight shifted and I felt him lift me off the ground and carry me into my dressing room.

"Everything will be ok," James said before kissing my forehead and walking out of the little room.

I slept there, until lunch time, on the couch. Only this time the nightmares where much different. This time my mother was dying but it wasn't James who comforted me it was Kendall. He was in the hospital with me and my mom was saying what a lovely couple we made. Then Kendall kissed me and my mom died. She was with me in every dream starting off great but slowly turning into something awful. I guess I was taking her death harder than I was showing.

"Hey sleepy head," James said peeking in the door. "I brought you some lunch."

I ran to him nearly knocking him flat onto the ground. "Oh James it was awful. I kept having the dreams. I kissed Kendall in the dream and my mom said he and I made a cute couple. Then she died all over again. I'm so sorry James," I said bursting into tears.

"Shh, it's ok Arianna. Nothing bad happened. Take a deep breath," he whispered into my hair.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated through my tears that now stained his shirt.

"It was just a dream," he reassured leading me to the couch to sit down.

"It was so real though James. I just wish it would all just disappear. I'm sick of feeling so depressed about my mom's death even after she told me not to cry over it. I'm a terrible person James."

"Now you're just overreacting. You're still getting over it. In time everything will be ok. I'm sure your mom is just fine with you being upset about this. And Arianna you are not a terrible person, you're far from it. You moved your best friend out to LA with you. That's pretty amazing. Trust me you will never be terrible in your life. Your heart is too good to be terrible," he said wiping the tears away and kissing my forehead lightly.

"Stop trying to make me feel better. Nothing will ever bring my mom back and these dreams they're just letting me know she won't," I said pushing him away. "I'm sorry James so much is happening to me right now. The best you could do for me is leave me alone for awhile. I'm sorry."

I could tell I hurt him when he turned around in the doorway. But I really did need to be alone. Him being there just made me feel ten times guiltier about kissing Kendall in my dream. Even though it was just a dream, I felt like I betrayed James somehow and my mom for dwelling on her death. I shouldn't have lashed at him the way I did.

"James just give me a few minutes to just think. Please. I still love you if that's what you're worried about. But I just need time alone," I said looking at his sad face.

"If that's what you want, then fine I'll leave. But Arianna I'm here for you, I love you," he said before walking out the door.

So I didn't blow it will James. I have a feeling he will never give up. For the second time that day I fell asleep on the couch. This time my dream was different. I was wearing a wedding dress walking down the isle with my dad. I couldn't tell who was at the end of it at first but then he turned around and there was James smiling at me. This dream was far from a nightmare it was perfect. I woke up to see james sitting with my head on his lap. He was back making sure nothing happened to me.

"any bad dreams?" he asked.

"Only if you call us getting married bad? The only bad part was my mom not being there to watch. But I was ok with her not beign there because I knew she was in spirit. I liked that dream," I said looking up into his light brown eyes.

"It sounds like a good dream."

"James I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm just a mess anymore," I kept my eyes locked on his. They were pretty. I was supprised I never noticed them before. "You've got pretty eyes."

"Well that came out of nowhere," he laughed. "And I forgive you for yelling at me."

"What? you do!"

"Well thank you Arianna, you have a very cute nose," he said tapping it with his finger. His big hands startled me and I sprung up from the couch. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"How would you like a hand coming at your face without warning?"

"yeah I wouldn't like that too much. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you James," I said laying back down on the couch.

"I don't think your dad would like this very much," james said.

"I don't really care about that right now. I'm happy right here with you. I don't want to move. So what if it's time to go home."

"Well it is time to leave for the day, you and I both know that well. Let's go. I'll walk you out. I still can't believe you came here when you knew we weren't rehearsing scenes with you in them."

"Yeah, well you never know. So you come just in case they need you. Plus I got great sleep while I was here."

"I'll see you here tomorrow, Arianna. Try not to worry about anything tonight," James said once I was in the truck.

I waved goodbye from the window as my dad drove away.

"He was really worried about you today," My dad said.

"I know. He kept checking on me numerous times."

"you seem rested now. Try to get some extra sleep tonight. I'm taking Staci to look for a car tomorrow so you're on your going yourself to the set tomorrow."

"as long as I get my car back. I'm fine with that."

I walked into the house and up to my room. For as much sleep as I got, I was still tired. Only tonight I wouldn't worry about my mom or any other nonsense. My phone lit up and I read the message from James "Sweet dreams."

**Please review and thank you so much for reading.**


	8. Beautiful Sunset

**Hello everyone. Today you will be introduced to a new character. I hope you've enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing this for you. BTR is not mine I'll repeat that again for you BTR is not mine. To summarize what has happened Arianna guest stars on BTR, she falls in love with James after the two bond over her horse. They start dating, Arianna's mother dies. She begins to have nightmares and that's about it.**

"Still no sleep," Kendall asked when I fell out of my car. He helped me up and looked sympathetic.

"Nope, every time I shut my eyes I kept seeing my mom lying in that hospital bed. It's like reliving that day over and over. To be honest, it's terrible. I told her I wouldn't mope around over her death and I'm doing the opposite. It sucks," I said through tired eyes.

"We're wrapping things up early today. Let the guys and I take you mind off things later. We'll go to the beach or something," he smiled and I knew there was hope.

"Fine but only because you're my friend and because this is affecting you guys as much as it is me."

"Good, I'll just let the guys know and after rehearsal today we are off to the beach. It may just get your mind off of things."

"I hope it does."

We quickly filmed the few scenes that I was in and I hurried back to the dressing room to sleep. I was glad I wasn't a huge part of this episode, because well I desperately needed rest. Filming definitely made me forget about my mom. I napped fairly well until Carlos ran into the room screaming. It was all fine and dandy until that point.

"Wake up sleepy head," Carlos shouted. "We're taking your car to your place then we're beaching it up all afternoon." He jumped up and down like a kid at Christmas time.

"Go away," I said throwing a pillow at his face. "I was having a nice little nap and then you barged in here and woke me up. That isn't right Carlos."

"And that isn't right," he caught the pillow and waved it in the air. "I'll get James in here after you."

"What's he going to do about it?" I demanded.

"This," James said as he threw me over his shoulder and carried me out of the room. Through all my fighting he carried me straight outside and finally put me down at my car.

"Daddy's little girl drives a red mustang to work. Isn't that cute," Logan joked opening the car door so James could put me inside.

"Are you guys kidnapping me or something?" I asked.

"Nope, you're the one who's going to be driving. Your car's the coolest one," Carlos said.

"Yeah thanks so much for telling me guys. It's greatly appreciated," I sighed buckling my seat belt.

"Not a problem at all," James said sliding into the front passenger seat.

"I hate you," I told them before turning the key in the ignition.

"That's ok we hate you too," Kendall joked peering in between the front seats.

They argued with me the whole ride to the beach. At one point I thought the boys were going to break out into a fist fight. I sure was glad the ride wasn't long, because my car was going to take a lot of damage from them being in there any longer. I looked around for a spot to park, luckily it wasn't that hard to find. I pulled in and just like that the boys filed out. I notice Staci waiting for us.

I got out of my car and she threw me a bathing suit. "The boys called and told me to meet you here and to bring that. I also have something else for you too," she said as my brother got out of her car.

"Phillip what are you doing here," I shouted running to my brother.

"Auditions and Broadway was slowly and painfully getting old," my brother said giving me a hug. "And I needed a change of scenery."

"No one told me you were coming. It's so great to see you. This is my boyfriend James and the rest of Big Time Rush Logan, Carlos, and Kendall."

"Your dad and I picked him up this morning after we finished at the car dealership," Staci said going over to give Logan a hug. "Hey cutie," she said to him before they walked down to the beach.

"Well there goes those two lovebirds," Carlos said eyeing up some blonde who just left the restaurant down the road. "I'll be back shortly." Before I knew it he was gone to talk to her, Kendall and my brother were flirting with a group of girls, and I was stuck by the cars with James.

"That food smells really good, how about some lunch?" James asked.

"You know what. I'd love to grab some food. I'm actually rather hungry," I said to him.

"Guys we're going to eat now," James yelled.

"It would have been better if you went up to them to tell them."

"I know but that was easier. I don't feel like waiting do you?" James asked me.

"I don't want to wait. In fact you didn't even need to tell them."

"I have a feeling they didn't even hear me. They're all preoccupied with something at the moment. This could be our first date," James said kissing my forehead. I felt so teeny around him no wonder why he kept kissing my forehead anymore.

"You make me feel so short," I said looking up into his light brown eyes. "It's nice to finally feel short. I've always been tall, so I like short."

"I love it when you explain for no good reason at all. Now let's go eat some food. All this talking is really making me hungry. It's all your fault Arianna; you've made me wait for my food. I may have to eat you if I don't get food soon," he said grabbing my hand and walking into the restaurant.

It was a cute little restaurant. I couldn't believe I was never there before. It reminded me of the mom and pop restaurants back home. Of course it was nothing like them because back home you couldn't eat your meals outside at the beach. Also back home, James wouldn't be in the restaurant with me.

"I'm thinking we should just get pizza. Seeing as how the others will get hungry soon," I said once I saw Logan and Staci walk our way.

"You always think ahead don't you," James said planting a kiss on my lips. I was tall but he still needed to bend down. "You smell pretty today."

"What are you saying I stink other days," I protested.

"No I guess I never really noticed. I always get caught up in the moment when I'm with you and never notice anything. But I noticed today."

"You're such a looser, James," I joked when Staci and Logan joined us.

"So what did you order," Logan asked sitting on the chair next to mine. I was glad we sat at the larger table.

"Pizza, we figured you would be joining us and the other guys will likely be here in a few minutes," James answered.

He was right. It wasn't long before the table was filled with. Sure we looked like a strange dysfunctional family, but I really liked being there with them. The guys ate like they'd never seen food in their lives. It made me laugh. They really did take my mind off of things, even though my brother was there with us. Phillip being there made things better. I had someone with me who knew exactly how I felt. He didn't know the whole 'being in love with James' feeling but he knew the 'my mom died' feeling.

When we finished eating James took my hand in his and led me down to the shoreline. Every day he was turning into more of a hopeless romantic.

"I thought you'd enjoy watching the sunset from the shoreline. It's not as pretty as you but it's really close," he said bending down for yet another kiss.

"Are you some Prince Charming?" I asked.

"Only if you're the Princess? Which I really think you are. I'd rather be the knight in shining armor though. Those guys seem tougher."

"Yes but the Princes are much more handsome. And James, you're handsome."

"You're so cute, Arianna."

Just then the sun set, James was right it was really pretty. The sun reflected off the water and it looked like something you would only find on a postcard or even in a movie. Never did I think I would see something so beautiful in nature.

"I think we should probably go now," I said

"You're right, we do have to be on set bright and early tomorrow morning to begin filming."

"UGH I hate the word filming. It's such a nasty disgusting word. I hate it."

"I love you Arianna. You're crazy."

"Crazy is a good thing. Now can we go, please?"

It wasn't long before we were in the car and at the studio parking lot. The guys still poking fun at my car. Moments after I dropped them off I was in my driveway and then up in my room. James refused to kiss me goodbye in front of everyone. It was sweet that he respected me. Overall the best thing was spending my afternoon with my friends and my brother. The afternoon really took my mind off of things.

**Please review. I'm really enjoying writing this for you. Thank you so much for reading.**


	9. I'll Be Here

**It's time for another update. Ok everyone I do not own BTR at all, just Arianna, Staci, her brother Phillip and her father. **

"I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating of my nightstand. Who in their right mind calls someone at five a.m.? That person would be James. I wanted so badly to just ignore his phone call, but I didn't. I slowly reached for the phone and pushed answer.

"Hello," I said groggily.

"Good morning sunshine. Are you ready to go to work?" James said sounding way too pleased about something.

"No am I supposed to be ready to go?"

"Well yeah. I'm outside waiting for you. I thought maybe you'd like to carpool?"

"You're such a looser. It's way too early for this. And who told you where I live?"

"It's not too early. Filming starts at 5:30 this morning, Arianna. Your friend Staci is the one with the big mouth so yell at her for it."

"Gosh I love you," I said looking out the window and seeing him standing there.

It wasn't long before I changed out of my pajamas, ran a brush through my hair, and was out by James. I found it sweet that he picked me up for work.

"And Arianna I love you too," he said kissing me lightly. "I didn't want you driving all the way to set yourself like you did yesterday if you didn't get any sleep. Honestly I'm worried about you."

"I slept last night. Really I did. I was waiting for the nightmare and it never happened!"

"That's great," James said with a smile. "But you're still riding to work with me."

"You do know the guys will never let us live this down?"

"Oh I know that. I really don't care what they think though. I mean what does their opinion matter?"

"It doesn't. I just don't want you to get into a fight with them. After all they are your friends."

"You always think of others don't you Arianna?"

"Of course I do, James. I always put others first," I said getting out of the car.

Moments later James had his arms wrapped around me. He took me by surprise. It was a good surprise, like when you haven't seen someone in ages and you meet them walking down the street. I looked up at his smiling face. Then and there I knew he didn't care what anyone thought. He was happier than well I really don't know. But I do know I was just as happy as he was standing there in his arms.

"Would you just kiss me already," I said.

"I was just waiting for you to ask," James said pressing his lips onto mine and pulled away slowly. "But I wasn't waiting much longer if you didn't."

I kept my eyes locked on his until our moment was ruined.

"Aww look at you two. Isn't it cute," Carlos said.

"Kiss my ass, Carlos," I said.

"I'd love to," Carlos replied.

I just sighed and walked away. He just had to ruin my moment with James. Of course it was better him than Kendall. There's a feeling deep inside my gut that is telling me Kendall doesn't want me to be with James. I wouldn't know that now since Carlos went and ruined my day.

"You're a dick," James shouted at Carlos before he ran to my side.

"I'm so sorry Arianna. Carlos is well he's a…"

"Don't you dare curse again James? I hated when I did it and I certainly do not want to hear you say one again. I don't like foul language. It's something I only use when I'm angry. Carlos he made me angry," I said burrowing my face into his shirt.

"I wasn't going to. Ok yeah I was going to call him something involving a curse word."

"Thank you for not saying something awful again. I really just want to go and punch him so hard right now," I said. I could feel my face turning red with anger and walked inside to forget about Carlos's stupid comment. "I'm going to go get ready. I'll see you soon."

I walked into my dressing room plopped down on the couch and began to sob quietly. There was no way I was letting James see me cry again or anyone else for that matter. Things were just starting to get better, the nightmares died down, James was my boyfriend, and my brother was in California with my dad and me. But now everything had to go downhill again. You can't go up without coming back down and it sucked. I threw one of the pillows on the floor and screamed into the other. Quick note to self screaming into a pillow does not muffle screaming at that well.

"Hey what's up," Logan asked peering into the room.

"Nothing just angry," I replied.

"You look pretty upset. What's wrong?" he said sitting down next to me.

"A lot of stuff is wrong. I shouldn't even be here. I should be back in Pennsylvania in college or something. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not an actress or a singer. I'm just a small town girl who happens to have influential parents. And I certainly am not good enough to be dating James."

"Arianna now you're just being silly. You do belong here. You've got more talent in one finger than most of the people out here. I'm not lying to you either. And for you and James, that boy loves you to death. Why do you think he picked you up this morning? It was an excuse for him to spend more time with you. Carlos is just a jealous idiot. Forget what he said and just have fun being yourself."

"Nothing's going right though. I know I should be happy with what I've got. But I'm not. I've been performing for as long as I can remember sometimes I wish I could just take a time off from it and get away from everyone."

"Everything is going right. All of this was supposed to happen to you Arianna. You were given all of this because you can handle it. You're an amazing person, I'm glad I know you and don't you dare give up."

"Thanks Logan," I said giving him a hug. "I really needed that."

"No problem, you're like my little sister. If there's one thing you should know is this cast is like a family and you're part of it. Whether you like it or not this is your family too."

"Once again thank you Logan. You should probably go get ready," I sighed.

"Yeah you're right. I'll see you soon."

The scenes I was in seemed to go by quickly. I found myself being happy for that. I was still angry with Carlos over his little comment. Why would he say something like "I'd love to."? Especially with James standing right next to me. I tuned them all out during filming even though my character was talking directly to them at times.

I walked back to my dressing room but heard someone saying my name. I turned around to find Carlos and Kendall walking toward me.

"Arianna I just want to tell you I'm sorry for what I said this morning. I didn't mean to piss you off or anything. In all honesty I was joking," Carlos said.

"I forgive you, but it was way too early to joke around about something like that. And James was standing right there. Are you a freaking moron," I said.

"Yeah I am a moron," Carlos said fairly loud.

"We know that, Carlos," Kendall sighed. I could tell he really wanted to get out of the situation. It was obvious he felt awkward being around me now that the truth was out. He's been acting strange ever since he told me he liked me. I knew he couldn't stand me being with James, but it wasn't like I was just going to magically be his.

"Well I've gotta go change. James and I are going for ice cream, before he takes me home. So I'll see you tomorrow," I told them.

I walked into my dressing room and quickly changed into my jeans and t-shirt I showed up in today. I didn't really care what I looked like around James. He's almost seen me at my worst so I was ok with being in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Are you ready to go?" James said when I met him outside.

"Of course I am. What girl doesn't want to hang out with James Maslow of all people?"

"And what guy doesn't want to take Arianna Walker out for ice cream. I must be the luckiest man alive," James said opening the car door for me.

"That's what you think," I said sitting down in the car. "And thank you for opening the door for me. You're such a sweetheart."

We arrived at the little ice cream shop and walked inside. Instantly I knew James was happy to be there with me. It was difficult hiding from the paparazzi but if I were to be plastered on the front page of some tabloid I'd want it to be with James. My face was always on those silly things, I didn't care. Let them make up a story at least I knew the truth. Then I noticed it wasn't us they were snapping photos of we were just caught up in someone else's moment of fame.

"I do not like paparazzi they're so mean," I said sitting down at the table with my strawberry banana soft serve ice cream.

"Yeah but some people just eat it up. They think it betters their career," James said sitting in the seat across from me.

"In some cases it does," I said to him. "It helped me a lot. You know the last time I had ice cream like this was back home at an amusement park."

"We should go there sometime," James said watching the people walk in and out of the little store.

"What am I not interesting?"

"No I just have other things on my mind. Arianna why me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about James."

"Why did you pick me over Kendall? You were all googily-eyed over him last week."

"I didn't choose you, you chose me."

"I don't get it though. You could have any guy in Hollywood Arianna. Any guy at all and you choose me."

"This isn't going to end is it," I said leaning in to kiss him. "James you're different. A very good different. Stop downing yourself." He was still pretty upset and believing he wasn't good enough. "Please James. For me."

"Fine, but only for you," he said through a fake smile. "You ready to go home?"

"No, but I guess I should go home. I can't stay out all night with you, well I can but it probably wouldn't do me any good."

James dropped me off and kissed me goodbye.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow then," he asked.

"If you feel the need to," I said.

"I'll be here," James said before pulling away.

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review and keep reading Arianna's story, I'm sure she would like it if you did.**


	10. Pool Party

**Hello readers. I do not own the guys who make up Big Time Rush. I don't own "Break Even" or "According To You" either. I felt the songs fit well into the story when Kendall and Arianna are alone explaining their heartbreak to each other.**

"Good morning looser," I said opening the door of James's car.

"Good morning doofus," James said kissing my cheek. "I missed you."

"You did not you liar."

"I did too miss you!"

I watched him during the entire drive to set. He looked genuinely happy to be sitting there next to me for the short car ride. It was cute watching him get angry when someone cut him off in traffic. I could tell he wanted to shout some sort of obscenity but he refrained from it. Every so often he would look at me and smile. It was the same smile that made my heart melt the first time I saw it. I smiled back and he parked the car.

"We're here," he said breaking me from my daze.

"I don't want to be here. I want to be over there," I said pointing to anything but the studio as I got out of the car.

"That's a dumpster, Arianna. I don't think you want to be over there," James said wrapping his arms around me. "Don't you like being here with me?"

"I do but I don't want to be here at work. Work is stupid," I sighed looking into his sad puppy dog eyes. I gave him my own puppy dog eyes.

"It will be over before you know it.

I hate to say it but James was right. The day was over sooner than I had thought. The next thing I knew was I was back in James's car on my way home. He looked at me before he started up the vehicle to drive away. I was given that I told you so smirk. The same smirk James loved to give me when he was right.

"Oh shut up," I sighed. "You were right. Ok, James you were right."

"I didn't say a word," James said.

"You didn't have to your eyes did. They were saying 'I told you so.'"

"They were not. They were saying 'I love you Arianna.' So there." He stuck his tongue out at me like a child would.

"You're such a dork." I quickly kissed him and exited the car and walked up the pavement to the mansion. I turned around and waved goodbye to him.

* * *

"Arianna can't you answer your phone. James just called me saying you're not answering your phone," Staci shouted while she pounded on my bedroom door.

"It died last night so it's off and charging. What the hell does he want," I groaned. It was Saturday and I desperately wanted to sleep in.

"Aren't you two supposed to go riding today," Logan chimed in. I had to be dreaming what was Logan doing in my house?

I opened the door to find Staci, Logan, and Carlos standing outside the door. Two people were missing. Then Kendall walked up behind them making only one person missing. I looked at Staci slightly confused as to why everyone was here.

"Arianna I told you last night that the guys and I are going to hang out by the pool today," Staci said. She handed me her phone. "Here talk to lover boy."

I grabbed her phone and closed my bedroom door. I noticed Kendall and Carlos staring at me in my pajamas. It wasn't like I was wearing something extremely revealing just shorts and a t-shirt. I didn't know what was so special about it, until I remembered the scar that ran up my thigh. Everyone has their accidents growing up mine just gave me a few stitches up my leg after I fell into a jump riding. It was the day my dad threatened to sell Storm.

"I am no lover boy," James said.

"James, it's me," I said. "Sorry I forgot about today. I'll go get ready now. I just need to change and tack up the horses. It'll take me about twenty minutes. You can just come over now if you want. They guys and Staci are out by the pool."

"Can't I just come to the stable to help you?"

"Well yeah you could do that too. The stable is behind my dad's house. I'm sure you saw it when you picked me up."

"I'll see you soon," James said before the line went dead.

I sighed and change out of my bed clothes and into something more appropriate for horseback riding. I then walked out to the barn to find James cooing over the horses. Instead of moving forward I stood there and watched him. Moments later I decided I shouldn't keep him waiting any longer.

"She was my mom's. I named her Princess." I said petting the horses muzzle and unlatching the stall door to lead her out.

"Princess?"

"Yeah because she looks like a Princess," I said about the brown and white paint horse. "You my friend will be riding Jazz. He's the bay in the back stall if you want to get him out."

James walked to the back of the barn and brought out Jazz, my gaming horse. I was proud of Jazz he won me multiple barrel racing competitions.

"Think you can handle him," I asked.

"He doesn't look that bad," James said patting the horses shoulder.

"He's a champion barrel racer. He's got loads of speed."

"I can handle him."

"Do you two mind if we join you?" Carlos said. He was standing at the front of the stable with Kendall. "You see Miss Owens and Mr. Henderson are having a make out fest by the pool."

"What can't Mr. Pena's stomach handle that," James joked.

"We were not sitting there watching them play tonsil hockey any longer. I was beginning to think I was going to have to find them a condom or something," Kendall said.

I for one was disgusted just by listening to them explain what was going on. I brought out two more horses for Carlos and Kendall. Big Al was my dad's horse that he used for lessons. The big grey gelding just stood in the isle without being hooked up while I searched for another decent lesson horse. I settled on Hannah a chestnut mare.

"Kendall you've got Big Al over there and Carlos you have Hannah," I said while pointing to the respecting horses.

"Ha I got the prettier one," Carlos said wrapping his arms around Hannah's neck.

I looked at James and mouthed "I'm sorry." I knew he wanted to spend time alone with me today, but I couldn't let Carlos and Kendall suffer through a make out session. James helped me tack up the horses for our trail ride and it wasn't long before we were on the trail up the mountain.

I didn't mind having extra company on the ride. More people meant that if something happened there were others to help. It was fun having them along. Carlos wouldn't stop complaining the entire time and Kendall couldn't stay balanced. James on the other hand couldn't stop yelling at the both of them and I couldn't stop laughing at all of it. They say laughter is the best medicine and today it really was.

We returned from our ride a few hours later and decided to light a fire in the pit by my pool. Kendall got out his guitar and we started singing together.

"Do you know this one," he asked me and started playing The Script's 'Break Even'

I nodded and began singing.

"_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in  
Cos I got time while she got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even_

Her best days will be some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you  
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces

Kendall began to sing along with me.

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven_"

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you  
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
(One still in love while the other ones leaving  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains  
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in  
Cos I got time while she got freedom  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you  
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
(One still in love while the other ones leaving  
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Kendall and I then got some time alone while the other decided to go for a swim.

"I had that song on replay ever since you started dating James. Gosh Arianna I was stupid to think I didn't have to work for your heart."

"I was wondering why you played it. You know my heart shattered that day you looked past me and to Staci. I had a song on replay too. Have you heard the song "According To You'," I asked him and he shook his head. "Well then I'll sing a little bit for you. Not the whole thing of course."

"_I need to feel appreciated  
like I'm not hated  
Oh, no  
Why can't you see me through his eyes?  
It's too bad you're making me dizzy_"

According to me  
you're stupid  
you're useless  
you can't do anything right

But according to him  
I'm beautiful, incredible  
He can't get me out of his head

According to him  
I'm funny, irresistible  
Everything he ever wanted  
Everything is opposite  
I don't feel like stopping it  
Baby tell me what I got to lose  
He's into me for everything I'm not  
According to you

"Hey that's the song you had on repeat last week," Staci said getting out of the pool. "It's prettier when you sing it."

"She's right it really is," James said wrapping his wet arms around me and kissing the top of my head. I could see Kendall glaring at him through the corner of my eye.

"I think we should get going," Carlos said noticing the glare on Kendall's face. "It is pretty late. I'll see you two on Monday." He walked over and hugged Staci and I.

"Yeah we'll see you on Monday," the others said.

James lingered behind and kissed me goodbye. He was cold from swimming but I still enjoyed being there with him by the fire.

**I hope you liked it. Please review. I'm not getting many and it's really making me upset that it's only just the same person reviewing every chapter.**


	11. Photographs

**I have popped out another chapter for your reading pleasures. **

"Get out. I'm driving today," I said waving my keys in front of James's face. "You can just pull into the drive way and leave your car here."

"But I wanna drive," James protested. He looked like a little kid arguing with me. But there was no way I was giving up. I'm a big girl I can drive too.

"Please James, for me."

He parked his car in the driveway and sulked over to the passenger seat of mine. I slid into the driver's seat and lightly kissed his cheek. "I love you James."

"I hate you," James said smiling.

I stepped out of my car when we arrived on set. It was going to be another long day of rehearsal and sitting in my dressing room staring at the wall. It was just how I wanted to spend my Monday, staring at a plain white wall for hours at a time. At least Staci would keep me company when she finished classes. There was always that other girl I don't remember what James said her name was last week all I knew is she played the crazy chick who slapped them most of the time.

"Arianna, your dad is looking for you. He said he'll meet you outside your dressing room," Logan said when he saw James and I walk through the door.

"Thanks Logan,'' I responded.

"Hi daddy. Logan said you wanted to talk to me," I said to my dad when I arrived at my dressing room.

"It's about your show sweetie. They didn't like the script so it's not even going to film a pilot. I'm so sorry," my dad said.

"Oh that's too bad I was really looking forward to having my own show," I lied. I was thrilled that I would continue working with the guys.

"We're working on finding a way to make you a permanent character on Big Time Rush. I know how much you love the guys." My dad looked at me and handed me a tissue for the tears that were slowly appearing.

"This really sucks, but thank you for telling me," I said sulking into my dressing room. I needed to play this out for as long as I could.

For as much as I wanted my own show, I was so happy this one failed. The boring white walls of the dressing room weren't so boring anymore. They started to take on a new life, a life with my new best friends. I could hear my dad was still outside of the door. I started throwing the pillows around and other strange things I found lying around to make it sound like I was angry. I threw a brush at the door and then it opened and hit the person walking in.

"Sorry Kendall, I'm pretending to be angry. I didn't mean to hit you, not purposely anyway," I said running over to give him a hug and kiss his cheek.

"And why are you angry?" Kendall asked picking up a pillow.

"Because that lousy show I was supposed to be in didn't get picked up. So I'm pretending to be angry about it to make my dad feel better. To be honest with you I'm glad it didn't get picked up it sounded so stupid. Gosh I'm so happy."

"What are you so happy about," Carlos asked. "It sounds like you were pretty angry to me."

"Shhh, I'm pretending to be angry," I said giving him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek like I had previously done to Kendall. "Cause that stupid show didn't get picked up!"

"You're weird," Carlos said. "But a good not creepy weird. Wait so that means you're staying here with us forever until you die."

"Who's staying until they die?" Logan asked walking into the already cramped room with James.

"Arianna is. You see her show didn't get picked up. So she's stuck with us forever," Kendall whispered so that people outside couldn't hear.

I greeted the other boys like I had with Kendall and Carlos of course James moved his head during the last second so my kiss landed on his lips. I didn't care though, all I wanted was to go to work every day and the guys be there to greet me. Yes they aggravated me most of the time but it was better than working with people I didn't like.

"That really sucks Arianna, I'm so sorry," James shouted. "You really wanted your own show. I'm sorry."

"Do you have to be that loud," Logan said punching James in the arm.

"Yep. Do you have any idea at all how long I've waited to meet this girl? I'm just as happy as she is that I get to keep working with her," James defended himself.

I looked at all the guys; Kendall with his big bushy eyebrows, Carlos with his cute smile, Logan with the over gelled hair, and James my boyfriend. They were all smiling from ear to ear like I was, but I knew they were hiding something from me. Carlos's smile showed he was up to no good, Logan kept pulling at the hem of his t-shirt, Kendall was swaying side to side, and James was staring at the vanity. They weren't the best liars in the world. And who would have thought they were actors. James looked at his fellow cast members and gave them a nod while he pulled something out of a bag he was holding.

"We knew that today you'd find out about the show and we got you something whether you were staying with us or not," James said handing me a picture.

"It's from when we all ended up in the pool when it was raining and we couldn't shoot outside," Carlos said.

I looked at the photograph, we were all there smiling and having a grand old time. I was between Logan and Carlos right in the middle. The two of them were busy making bunny ears on everyone. I looked at the other photographs and smiled. My favorite being the one of James and me standing next to Storm. I did like the other photos but that one was something you would see in a perfume ad

"Who took these?" I asked.

"I did," Staci said walking through the door. "I thought you might like them, just in case you had to leave these amazing guys. I personally like the one where you and the guys are sword fighting with curling irons. It just shows that you're always a kid inside."

* * *

I walked out into the parking lot when the day was complete. My cell phone read 10:30 PM, and James was nowhere to be found. He wasn't even answering his phone. It became cold after the sun went down and I was through looking for him. I walked over to my car to get in and wait for him there.

"I'm really glad you're not leaving us," James said scaring the living daylights out of me.

"What the hell James. That wasn't even funny. If I was like fifty years old I would have had a heart attack. You're such a jerk and oh so lucky I don't make you walk," I shouted.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to…well now I can't even remember. I'm sorry that I scared you. It wasn't my intention at all. Hang on I remember now. I was going to give you these," James said giving me frames for the photographs. "Kendall and I got you these yesterday. We needed to wait for Staci to give us the pictures."

"They're very pretty," I said starting the car to drive home. "Do you know what picture is my favorite?"

"Um the one of you and Carlos with the bull. I know that one was my favorite."

"No silly, the one of you and me with Storm."

"Yeah that one was nice too. I'm just kidding. That one was my second favorite."

I pulled my red mustang into the driveway, the same car the guys teased me about every day. I stopped and put the car in park before turning it off. I looked up at the stone mansion my mom designed. I still couldn't find the stone that had my name etched into it. "So what was your favorite picture?" I asked James when we both got out of the car.

"This one," he said handing me a frame with a photograph inside. "It's our first kiss. I didn't know that Staci took that until she gave me it."

I laughed and pointed to the photo, "That's the French fry stand. It really is our first kiss."

"You know I would have never thought I would kiss Arianna Walker in my entire life let alone meet her. But here I am standing in her driveway looking at a picture of us kissing!"

"You're talking like I'm Miley Cyrus or something? She does live over there somewhere if you wanna go say hi," I teased.

"No I'm fine right here, with my own Miley. This one's way better," he said leaning in and placing his hand on my cheeks. His lips were then placed on mine. They were soft and I could tell he wanted to get his tongue down my throat and his other hand slipped slowly to my behind. I pushed him away.

"I think you should go now James," I said walking away. "I'm no slut who wants some guys tongue down her throat and his hand on her as. It's highly distasteful even more in public. What you really think I am Miley Cyrus!? I'm sorry James but do me a favor leave and don't stop here tomorrow." I added throwing the picture on the ground.

He took things too far when he told me he loved me after a week of being together and now he wanted to stick his nasty tongue in my mouth and grab my behind. Yeah I take it he's been obsessed with me since I started filming those silly movies four years ago, the same movie that made me bigger than Miss Cyrus herself. A dumb movie about a girl in boarding school with witches and wizards and vampires and all that other crap who falls in love with the world of magic. Yes I Arianna Walker was huge, and sick and tired of movies so I wanted to move to the small screen.

I walked towards the door and didn't even look back to see James pick up the pieces of shattered glass. I guess that was probably what his heart had felt like a broken picture frame shattered all over the ground. Mine on the other hand felt like the ashes in the fireplace, burned so that it was no longer visible. If there was one thing I hated more than liars it was a guy grabbing my butt. It was so distasteful.

I looked at the text message I just receive, "I'm sorry Arianna. I had no idea that would offend you."

"Stace where are you?"

"In the kitchen Ari, just making a little snack before bed. What's up?"

"I think I may have just broken up with James, because he attempted to grab my behind. Ugh it was nasty."

"Yeah I know you hate that. It ruined like seven of your relationships. But Ari, look at him, he's a mess, just sitting there in his car. I'm going to talk to him."

"Did I tell you he's a stalker who's been obsessed with me since that stupid movie? Stace he's a creep!"

"Ok I shall stay here then. I told you Kendall was better! He's not some obsessed freak, plus the two of you would be super cute together."

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yep I'll ride to the set with you. No classes tomorrow," Staci said following me up the stairs. "Sorry James is a jerk. Guys are stupid. He didn't deserve you anyway. The only guy I thought that deserved you was Joe Jonas. Now he was a nice guy."

"Stace, please just be quiet. I really want to get so sleep," I said walking into my bedroom.

**Oh dear Arianna and James are over. It's to go along with my plot. You will find that out a wee bit later. The whole creep part also was to clarify the speed at which James was taking things. Seeing as he wanted to be with her since he was 15. Things will definitely start to get awkward from here on out.**

**Thank you for reading. Do me a huge favor and review. **

**xoxox, **

**Sara**


	12. 112

**Photographs in James's point of view, to clarify what had happened when he and Arianna arrived at her home. It will help with the next chapter. Sorry it is so short.**

I heard all sorts of things slamming off the walls of Arianna's dressing room. Something obviously had pissed her off. I walked down the hallway to find Logan standing there, looking equally confused as I.

"What is she doing in there," Logan asked me.

"I don't know but she sounds like she's going to hurt herself. I'm going in."

I walked into her already crammed dressing room to Carlos saying "You're weird, but a good not creepy weird. Wait so that means you're staying here with us forever until you die."

Logan then said something before I realized that Arianna had found out her show didn't' get picked up. News about her show that I was waiting to hear and from the sounds of it she was staying with Big Time Rush. I must have said something stupid then because Logan punched me in the arm. I've been waiting since I was 15 for the chance to meet Arianna. She had to be one of the most gorgeous girls I had ever seen in my life. The best thing was I was dating her and I had her gift from all of us. I handed her the envelope containing the photographs Staci had taken. They were for Arianna to remember us by if she were to leave, but I gave her them anyway.

I was waiting until later on to give her my favorite picture along with the frames we had got her to keep them in. Too bad the day went longer than what I wanted. I just wish Carlos and Kendall didn't have to laugh at every little thing. What were they five?

The day ended and I went to sit in Arianna's car to wait for her. I probably should have met her somewhere in the studio because I scared the shit out of her.

"Kendall and I got you these yesterday. We needed to wait for Staci to give us the pictures," I said handing her the frames.

"They're very pretty," Arianna said pulling her car into the driveway. "Do you know what picture is my favorite?"

"Um the one of you and Carlos with the bull. I know that one was my favorite."

"No silly, the one of you and me with Storm."

"Yeah that one was nice too. I'm just kidding. That one was my second favorite."

"So what was your favorite picture?" Arianna asked when we got out of her red Mustang.

"This one," I said proudly handing her a frame. "It's our first kiss. I didn't know that Staci took that until she gave me it."

"That's the French fry stand. It really is our first kiss."

"You know I would have never thought I would kiss Arianna Walker in my entire life let alone meet her. But here I am standing in her driveway looking at a picture of us kissing!"

Arianna then went on about Miley Cyrus or something. I guess she didn't know she was more famous than Miley.

"No I'm fine right here, with my own Miley. This one's way better," I said placing a hand on Arianna's cheek to kiss her. I felt her falling backward so I grabbed her with my other hand. That other hand happened to land right on Arianna's ass and boy was she pissed.

"I think you should go now James," Arianna said. "I'm no slut who wants some guys tongue down her throat and his hand on her as. It's highly distasteful even more in public. What you really think I am Miley Cyrus!? I'm sorry James but do me a favor leave and don't stop here tomorrow." She added throwing the picture on the ground.

I watched the frame shatter into a million little pieces, just like she did to my heart. Arianna walked into her huge stone mansion like nothing had ever happened. I picked up most of the little shards of glass one cutting my hand in the process. I looked at the picture and threw that in the bag with the glass. I didn't want to look at it again. Arianna was something that was too good to be true.

"She's just a cold heartless bitch," I said getting into my own car to drive home. "A cold heartless selfish bitch. Who does nothing but jumps to conclusions?"

**I hope this helps you understand that last chapter and the chapter to come.**


	13. Footwear

**Sorry it took so long to update. Classes have started up again so I'm there all day. Yet again I will say this; BTR does not belong to me.**

"Hey sorry about last night," James said walking up to me when Staci and I pulled into the parking lot. "I didn't mean to be a creep Arianna"

"James if there's one thing I hate it's a guy grabbing my reared. I don't care why it happened, but trust me it will not happen ever again."

"If I could take it back, I would. Arianna I'm no pervert. In all honesty I felt you falling backward and I saw you slamming your head onto the asphalt. Your butt was the only thing I could grab onto."

"Yeah I was falling a bit but I had caught myself way before you had grabbed me. I'm sorry James but I really need to be getting ready." It was then I noticed the cut on his palm. "What happened?" I asked picking up his hand.

"I cut it on the glass, but it's nothing you should worry about. Go get ready."

"James it doesn't look too good. Stace can you find a first aid kit please?"

"Let go of my hand," James demanded pulling his hand away from me. "I told you it was fine."

"Don't you think I made a mistake too last night. I don't care that you're some crazed fan of the fake Arianna Walker. You do know the girl you've been with is different than the Arianna you know from the big screen, she's jerk. That was the old Arianna last night the Arianna who can't stand her fans. James I'm so sorry."

"I think things may be better Ari if we were just friends for now."

"Yeah um ok, if that's what you want. But James can I please at least bandage your hand since I did it. Please just let me clean it up."

"Fine, if that's what you want," James sighed.

"It is what I want. I also want you to have this," I said giving him the picture of the both of us with Storm.

"But this is your picture."

"No it's not it's yours now. I know the photographer, she's really great actually she can print me another. May I please have your hand now please and why didn't you take care of this last night?"

"I didn't think I needed to." James said wincing as a poured the alcohol over it. "It didn't look to bad."

"Are you blind and stupid, James? You cut yourself pretty badly," I said wrapping a bandage around his hand.

"Yeah I am. Next time you fall I'll reach higher but not too high to grab something else. What am I going to do about my hand?"

"It's called adlibbing. I think you can do it."

"What about your dad?"

"Didn't tell him, because he would kill you without even thinking about it. He's just like most coal region fathers; they look out for their little girls."

I walked into my dressing room and found my new script for next week laying on the vanity. I flipped through the pages with no intention of reading it until later. The couch looked so welcoming up against the wall, but I had no intention of being lazy today.

"So you get to kiss Kendall next week," Carlos said giving me a hug. "I just hope it doesn't make James mad."

"Oh um James and I kinda broke up last night. I overreacted and broke up with him. I wouldn't talk to him about it if I were you. Don't even mention his hand," I told him.

"What did he do to his hand," Logan asked walking up behind us.

"He cut it on the picture frame last night after I threw it on the ground," I said looking at Logan's brown eyes. I could tell he was truly concerned about what had happened.

"So you broke up with him?" Logan questioned.

"Yeah, because of something stupid. I'd rather not talk about it."

"About what," Kendall said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh my God is everyone on my case today. Anyway I broke up with James last night."

Kendall looked at me like I was crazy. His blue green eyes were staring me down. I was afraid of what he would say or do. "You broke up with James," he said.

"That was what I said, wasn't it," I said looking over at Carlos who nodded in agreement.

"I just don't believe it," Kendall said still staring me but this time with disbelief. "So you really broke up with James?"

"No they got engaged. Yeah they broke up," Staci said walking over to Logan and kissing him. "I missed you."

"Missed you to," Logan said and I just wanted to vomit.

I walked away and entered the hair and makeup room to get prepared for the day. It was strange not seeing everyone in there at once. I was the only one there once the two who were in there with me finished. One big problem those ladies loved their gossip while they made you more beautiful than you were moments before. The only thing was I didn't want to talk today, instead I thought of ways to better apologize to James. I pulled out a friendship bracelet I started working on during my plane ride from Pennsylvania. The black and grey threads were becoming worn from spending their time in my pocket. I knotted the threads around each other adding more and more rows. Then it came to me, I could give him the bracelet along with concert tickets or something. Not many people have something that I have made except for family members.

"You know I graduated high school and not just my GED either," I told the hairstylist. I felt bad I wasn't giving them anything to talk about today. "I move back to PA to finish my senior year in a real high school setting, I was homeschooled the other years though."

"We heard you broke up with James, Miss Walker," the stylist said.

"Yes that information is true. I'm sure it will be all over the tabloids tomorrow and you ladies heard the news first," I sighed realizing I've done something stupid.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the one replied spinning me around to show me the final look for filming that day. "But you and James were no good together. Your personalities clashed in a very bad way."

"Uh thanks," I said stepping down from the chair.

I walked down the hallway and to my dressing room so I could finish getting ready. I put on the outfit they set out for me. The cowgirl thing still hasn't been dropped, I slipped on a pink flannel and distressed skinny jeans. It was cute but getting old very quickly. To make matters worse cowboy boots were sitting next to the couch. I bypassed them and put on a pair of gold gladiator sandals, like anyone would notice.

"Ditching the cowgirl look today," Kendall asked.

"Duh. It's getting old. Plus I really like these shoes. I'm almost positive I wore them at graduation, they're lucky," I answered shutting the door.

"Lucky shoes and I thought I was weird."

"Oh shut up, Kendall," I said playfully punching him in the arm. "Do NOT tell anyone about the shoes. I want to see if they notice or not."

"They probably won't. It's not like shoes are important, you could probably go barefoot."

"You should try that just to see."

"Is that a dare?"

"Uh-huh. Go barefoot," I said pointing to his shoes.

"What's in it for me?"

"Um…a date Saturday?"

**In case you didn't know the coal region is a real place in PA, if you don't believe me Google it. You'll find out some fascinating information. Thank you again for reading!**


	14. You Look Sad

_**It's time for another update. Once again I do not own the guys from BTR.**_

"I cannot believe you had me go barefoot," Kendall said when I stepped out of my car the next morning. "I also can't believe no one noticed for about two hours."

"What's even better is they're not going to refilm it," I laughed.

"You two need your heads checked," James said giving me a friendly hug. "But that was pretty good."

"Thank you James. I'm glad you liked it. But would you be ok if Kendall and I were to go out on Saturday. That was part of the bet," I asked leaning into his side.

"You don't need to ask me that, Ari. We're not together anymore," James said.

"I know but we just broke up so I wanted to see if it was ok. I don't want to upset you more than I already have," I said looking into his brown eyes. They looked sad yet very relieved.

"James it's not like I'm going to kiss her or anything we're just going out for burgers on Saturday," Kendall said.

"Just go. It's for the bet isn't it," James said patting Kendall on the back. "She's a man-eater." I heard him add but pretended to ignore it.

I followed the boys into the studio and to hair and makeup. There was no way I was gossiping today with everyone there with me. I didn't even have anything to talk about except the whole barefoot thing and Kendall was telling that one. Before I knew it my hair was done in loose curls and my light makeup was applied.

I then walked toward my dressing room to plop down on the couch until I was needed on set for the day. Staci was occupying the chair in the corner with the radio on.

"You look miserable. What's up?"

"Stace I miss being with James A LOT."

"Ari, you're better off being single for a while. I don't think you know what it's like to be alone. You always have a guy. Take a break from it all."

"I know but he looks so gloomy."

"Don't worry about it. He'll be fine just like you will. I'm quitting school!"

"I'll be fine I know that. Wait you quit school? WHY?"

"I want to start acting. I have a few auditions lined up for this week. School sucks Ari. It's boring and the people are stuck-up snobs. It's not like the schools I visited back in PA were people didn't find my accent funny or think they're better and prettier than me."

"Well duh they talk just like you talk. The just don't know who your best friend is. You know being single may be fun. I can still hang out with them right? The guys I mean."

"No you can't hang out with them."

"Stace!"

"What you asked me if you can hang out with them and I said no. It's not like it's going to stop you. You do work with them."

"It's Nana's birthday next week," I said going through the calendar on my phone

"You know what that means," Staci said.

"What does that mean," Carlos said peering in the door. "Arianna they need you on set."

"Our Nana is turning 75 and she always has her party at Hershey Park," Staci said a bit too excitedly.

Staci loved our nana's parties more than Nana herself. I think we all loved going to the park and then walking through the zoo at the end of the day. It was one of the few times the whole family got together. No one really knows why Nana has her parties at Hershey, but we do know she wants everyone to have fun.

"You guys should come with us. It's tons of fun and their always down a few guys for the racing roller coaster. The guys believe us girls are cheating since there are more of us," I said to Carlos.

"You mean the Hershey like the chocolate Hershey," he asked.

"UH huh. There's chocolate world the amusement park and a zoo. Nana's always had her parties there. She likes getting everyone together to have fun. You all should really come along. I'll give you the details at lunch," I replied walking into the mock studio.

I walked through filming doing what Arianna Walker does best, performing. Still wearing my sandals I was blowing everyone away today. Using my true life inspirations no one could do better when the camera was rolling. Maybe I was showing off, since I was single again. But if you were to ask me I would just say today is my day to rock.

"Dad would it be ok if the guys come to PA with us? Staci and I really want them to go. Please," I asked my dad on my walk back to the dressing room to get Staci.

"Nana always says the more the merrier so sure they can come along," my dad said when we stopped at the door.

"Thanks Dad."

I walked into the dressing room to still find Staci lounging on the chair. She was diligently typing something on her laptop, probably emailing her mom about next weekend. I walked up and slowly closed it.

"You ready for lunch. The guys are waiting and eager for news about next weekend," I said as she gave me puppy dog eyes.

"I was emailing Nana, you meany. I was telling her about Logan," Staci said getting up from the chair.

"She can meet him at her party now let's go. Please."

"They're coming with. Where are they going to sleep?"

"Um the house. Geez Stace even you know the PA mansion is the size of mine and my dad's. My mom loved making big houses for her family. There's deff enough rooms."

"I can't believe it's already Nana's birthday," Staci sighed walking out the door and down the hallway. I wasn't far behind.

"So you guys can come to PA with us next week for our Nana's birthday. You'll love her way more than hanging out in Hershey Park," Staci said sitting between Logan and Carlos.

"That's where they make the chocolate right," James asked. "And your Nana has her birthday there?"

"It's actually an amusement park and a zoo and also the company. Some days the whole park smells like chocolate. That's the best part," I said reminiscing on the smell of cocoa.

"We should really show them Centralia the nerdy part of home. Trust me its nerd heaven there sometimes with people taking pictures of the smoke rising from the ground. It's a ghost town but the two of us always needed to see it. Isn't that 'Silent Hill' movie based on it," Staci said.

"Puh-lease, Centralia got old when we turned 10. Stace, we want them to have fun not be bored to death," I said.

"It doesn't sound boring. It seems kinda cool actually. All of this is close to your home," Kendall said.

"No but my uncle lives up by the mines. He actually runs the family mine, on my mom's side of the family. Staci's mom and my dad are brother and sister."

"I was thinking the two of you were connected somehow. You can't fool me," Carlos said. "Are there elephants and stuff in this zoo?"

"UM uh, no. It's just animals in North America," Staci answered resting her head on Logan's shoulder. "I'm really tired today."

"Maybe you should take a nap when you finish eating," Logan said looking down at her.

I looked at the two of them. They had so much love for each other that I don't think anything could ever tear them apart. I was jealous of what they had. It wouldn't surprise me if they would get engaged in the future. They'd truly make adorable kids along with a happy married couple until they died. I looked a James then, who was busy talking to Carlos about the new script. Kendall on the other hand was watching me observe the others.

"You look sad," Kendal said. "What's bothering you?"

"Me, oh nothing really. Just thinking about some things," I replied.

"Do you want to go for a walk to just get your mind off it all? Sometimes I think you just talk way to much Arianna," Kendall said getting up and taking his hand in mine. "We're going for a walk."

"What if I didn't want to go for a walk," I said glaring at him.

"You were going anyway. You just don't seem like yourself today, like something is really bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me. Everything is fine, really it is."

"Arianna Walker don't you lie to me." Kendall stopped walking and turned to face me. "I'm not fond of liars."

"Kendall I'm not lying to you. Ok well yes I am. But I'd rather not talk about it. I don't want to cry today. There's just way too much on my mind. My mom isn't going to be there on the doorstep welcoming me home. The house is going to be empty and have this cold feeling. She won't' be there on my wedding day helping me get ready. She won't be there to see her grandkids first Christmas or birthday."

"She will be there. You just won't see her there but she will be. I can't guarantee this but everything will be ok," he said giving me a hug. "You're doing fine without your mom right now and you'll do even better in the future."

"Thanks Kendall." I looked up and into his eyes and smiled.

_**Thank you so much for reading.**_


	15. Aeroplanes

**Yet another update for you to read. I'll remind you that I do not own the guys who make up BTR. I also do not own airplanes or the Philadelphia Phillies. I do wish I own the Phillies though.**

"That burger place sucked," I said to Kendall as we boarded the plane to Philadelphia. Our little date went surprisingly well despite the awful food.

"It did not suck," He defended. "Yeah it sucked. The burgers were ice cold. What's the game plan for this weekend?"

"Well we're headed to a Phillies game as soon as we land; I'm throwing out the first pitch. Spending the night in a hotel then going to my place in the morning and taking you guys on a tour of our hometown. The next day is Nana's party," I answered touching the outside of the plane.

"Why did you just touch the plane?" Carlos asked following me to our seats.

"I can't board a plane unless I touch it," I said sitting down in my seat.

"You are so strange, Ari. Very strange," James said sitting behind me.

I gazed out the window at the men loading the luggage onto the nearby plane. Bags being thrown onto the conveyor like a basketball. Slowly the plane backed up and was lead onto the runway. A plane landed and we began to speed down the runway. I felt the plane lift off and ascend up into the clouds hovering LA. The cars began to look like ants running around in search of crumbs. Minutes later the houses were so small you could barely make them out.

"What are you looking at," Kendall said leaning over" me.

"Just what's down there, it's really pretty," I answered.

"You're such a dreamer. Do you know that?"

"Well you're a flirt," I pouted.

"Would you two shut up, people are trying to sleep," Logan whispered from across the aisle. Staci's head was resting on his shoulder and Carlos and James were asleep behind us.

"Do you have a camera on you," I whispered to Kendall.

"Yeah why?"

"Look at those too. It would be perfect blackmail. Carlos is drooling all down James's shirt," I said pointing at the two sleeping behind us.

"Ok now you're just being mean. But I could use the blackmail," he said snapping a photo of the two of them.

"You're the one who took the picture."

"After you told me too."

"Would the two of you stop arguing and just freaking kiss already," Carlos said stirring from his sleep.

"Yes please just shut up," James said resting his head upon the window. "The two of you are so loud."

"Aww is James mad someone is talking to his girlfriend," Staci teased pushing it way too far.

"She's not my girlfriend anymore. All I want to do is take a little nap but those two are just being far too loud and obnoxious," James sighed.

"Guys there's like a hundred other people on this plane, please just shut up," Logan said.

I looked at Kendall and started laughing uncontrollably and he joined in. I had no idea what I was laughing at but I just couldn't stop. Carlos looked at the both of us and began laughing too. Logan gave me the death glare but the laughing just couldn't be stopped. I felt like laughing gas filled the cabin of the plane. I looked at Kendall whose face had turned bright red.

"I cannot stop laughing," I said struggling for air.

"What's so funny in the first place," Kendall gasped through laughs.

"I feel like I'm drunk or high or something," Carlos said wiping the tears from his eyes. "I'm laughing so much I'm crying."

"People are going to start wondering what's going on up in first class," Staci giggled.

"Oh not you too," Logan sighed.

"Arianna do you have your jersey. We're going to be landing soon," my dad asked.

"Yep it's right here in my bag," I said pulling out my Phillies jersey. "They're just going to give me a new one anyway dad."

"You've thrown out the first pitch before?" James asked.

"Yeah, twice already. So I've got two of these things. Each with a different number, they make two of them and one is auctioned off for charity," I answered.

"That's really cool. Who are they playing," Carlos asked.

"The Yankees, who Arianna and I hate with a passion, that's why her and Joe Jonas didn't work out. And Arianna's boyfriend Cole is pitching for the Phillies," Stacie said.

"He's not my boyfriend Stace. He's married. But Cole Hamels is very good looking."

"Hey I'm sitting right next to you," Kendall said with the most adorable puppy dog eyes I've ever seen.

"Sorry, but he is very very man pretty," I said pulling Kendall into a hug. "Just like you are."

"You two are sick," James said throwing a pillow at us as he walked off the plane.

"What you're man pretty too James," I shouted.

"You're so loud," Carlos shouted to be as loud as I was.

"Nope you're loud," I whispered in his ear. "I'm just glad to be home and that you guys are here with me."

We grabbed our bags from the claiming area and called the limo to take us to the game. I looked back at the airport. I was finally home, in Pennsylvania where I belonged. It of course is only for a few days but still it felt better than being in California. Bon Jovi's "We Weren't Born to Follow" started to play through the speakers.

"This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles  
This one goes out to the ones in need  
This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical  
This ain't about no apology

This road was paved by the hopeless and the hungry  
This road was paved by the winds of change  
Walking beside the guilty and the innocent  
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?" I started to sing and Staci joined in.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah

We weren't born to follow  
Come on and get up off your knees  
When life is a bitter pill to swallow  
You gotta hold on to what you believe

Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
And that your saints and sinners bleed  
We weren't born to follow  
You gotta stand up for what you believe

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah

This one's about anyone who does it differently  
This one's about the one who cusses and spits  
This ain't about our livin' in a fantasy  
This ain't about givin' up or givin' in

Yeah, yeah, yeah

We weren't born to follow  
Come on and get up off your knees  
When life is a bitter pill to swallow  
You gotta hold on to what you believe

Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
And that your saints and sinners bleed  
We weren't born to follow  
You gotta stand up for what you believe

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah  
Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah

We weren't born to follow  
Come on and get up off your knees  
When life is a bitter pill to swallow  
You gotta hold on to what you believe

Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow  
And that your saints and sinners bleed  
We weren't born to follow  
You gotta stand up for what you believe

Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah  
Let me hear you say yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah

We weren't born to follow, oh yeah  
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah)  
We weren't born to follow, oh yeah  
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah)"

"You two are so weird," Carlos said.

"It's Bon Jovi. We are not weird," Staci said. "You must respect the Bon Jovi. Plus this was the Phillies World Series song last season."

"There it is, Citizen's Bank Park, home of the Philadelphia Phillies," I shouted pointing out the window jumping over my brother in the process. I opened the door as soon as the limo stopped and sprinted to the gate.

"Wait for me," Carlos shouted running after me leaving everyone else behind. "What's the rush?"

"I'm late," I yelled running though the gates. "Just wait for my dad, he's got the tickets."

**Thank you for reading.**


	16. You Throw Like a Girl

**Another chapter to Arianna's love story with Big Time Rush. BTR and the Phillies do not belong to me.**

I walked out onto the field and looked up into the rows of seats. The Phillie Phanatic was antagonizing Carlos about his baseball cap. I laughed while I was being introduced to the thousands of people attending the game. I looked at the children standing with their respected Phillies player, something I always loved when I went to games. A white ball was placed into my hand and I walked toward the pitching mound to throw it to home plate. I threw the ball and the crowd burst out into applause and shouting, as the game began.

"You couldn't throw a baseball to save your life," Logan said when I joined them in the seats.

"Now that was harsh," Staci said shoving him. "She's not only my best friend but my cousin. Apologize you meany."

"Staci I did completely miss home plate by five feet. I looked like a complete fool in front of Cole Hamels. Gosh he's gorgeous," I said.

"ONCE AGAIN, I'M RIGHT HERE!" Kendall shouted.

"Seriously I'm not dating you Kendall, it was a bet. I lost so I had to go on ONE date with you," I sighed.

"She is right," Carlos said watching the players run onto the field. "I like that guy he has the same name as me."

I looked down to the field where Carlos was pointing right at the Phillies's catcher. At least he was paying attention to the game. The batter walked up to the plate and hit the first pitch. I watched the ball soar into the seats toward us and reached out to grab it before it smoked Kendall right in the face.

"Scared ya didn't I," I said handing the baseball to him. "Here take it. It would have branded your face."

"Ha Arianna just saved your face," James laughed.

"I didn't see you going to catch the ball you're too busy checking out that girl over there," Kendall said looking at the baseball. "Thank Arianna."

"You're welcome Kendall. See Logan I can catch," I said.

"Yeah but you still can't throw," Logan shouted over the noise.

"Where's my dad and Philip," I asked Staci.

"Helping with the auction," She answered. "They'll meet us down at the front gate when the game is over. Did you pick the songs for Hershey yet?"

"I completely forgot about the concert," I answered. "We'll pick some tomorrow."

I didn't forget about the concert, I was just having a hard time picking songs to perform. Not only was it my Nana's birthday party but I was also part of the summer concert series in the park. I never performed a concert where I decided what to sing.

"Are they booing that guy," James asked as a Phillies player walked up to the plate.

"No they're just yelling Raul. It sounds like booing but it's not," I answered watching the first few pitches before the ball was hit to the outfield for a double.

"I'm going for a cheese steak," Carlos said. "I need to have one of those great Philly Cheese steaks before I leave this game."

"You're not going without me," Kendall said following him up the stairs.

I shook my head in disgust and continued watching the game. It was the bottom of the fourth and the Phillies were up by one. A very boring game, if you would ask me. James was still looking at the blonde six seats over. I was jealous he was moving on, especially to some skank in a tank top with her breasts nearly hanging out. That was one thing Arianna Walker would never do was dress like a skank.

"Ignore him," Kendall said sitting beside me. "She's a slut anyway. You're way better."

"Eww. I cannot stand it when girls think looking hot is having their boobs hang out all over the place. Buy a shirt that fits," Carlos said looking at his cheese steak. "Oh Kendall and I got you something, to say thank you for bringing us with you. It's a stuffed that dude." He pointed at the Phillie Phanatic and handed me the stuffed doll.

"You two are the best," I said giving each of them a hug. "Who needs James when I got the two of you?"

"I think James is just trying to piss you off and its working. So just ignore him it will make him just as angry as you are," Kendall said.

"Looks like slut face has a girlfriend," Staci said playfully shoving James. "That's just tacky, having your boobs hanging out. She's prettier," she added pointing to the redhead in the opposite direction.

"Stacie that's Dawn," I said recognizing my cousin two rows over.

"Wait you know her," James asked.

"Yeah she's our cousin, you'll meet her on Sunday," Staci answered.

"She's way prettier than that chick," Carlos said.

"I was only looking at her to make Arianna angry," James confessed.

"I knew it!" Kendall gave Carlos a high five.

"Where's Amy. You never see one without the other," I asked.

"Don't know, don't care. I can't stand those two," Staci sighed. "They think they're better than the rest of us. Seriously they are no better than poo."

We arrived at the hotel when the game had finished. James and Carlos were still asking about Amy and Dawn, the oh so special Walker twins. I wanted to vomit at the thought of them. They were mean and nasty girls who hated anyone who one upped them on anything. I was honored to be at the top of their "I hate you so much, I hope you die" list. A list I made when I became famous over night. The very same list I made when I threw out the first pitch at a Phillies game. A list I topped when I dated a Jonas Brother. I adored being on the top of that list.

"Knock knock," Carlos said knocking on the door combining our hotel rooms.

"Don't you dare open that door Carlos. I'm still getting changed," Logan shouted.

"Remind why this was a good idea," I asked Staci.

"Because your dad and Philip are staying in the smaller room that your dad booked last week. He didn't expect the guys to be coming either," Staci sighed.

"Well I'm going in the other room to watch TV," I said walking into the smaller room where there was a pull out couch and a television.

"Mind if I join you," Kendall asked peering his head through the door.

"Nope have a seat."

Kendall sat down on the mattress next to me. Staci had always been anal about checking hotel rooms thoroughly before she could sleep at night and didn't put the couch back together. I flipped on the television and began to search for something to watch.

"There's never anything on television," I groaned.

"Just find something incredibly stupid and we'll watch it. Or we could always see if your movie is playing on the Disney Channel," Kendall suggested.

"I'd rather hang myself by the hangers in the closet, than watch that dumb movie."

"There's no way I'd let you do that. You see because I would really miss you," he said pushing my hair out of my face.

"No you wouldn't!"

"Who would I get into trouble with? Not Carlos, Logan, or James?"

"I probably wouldn't have the guts to kill myself. I would so chicken out."

"I don't picture you chickening out of anything. But I'm glad that you would," Kendall said looking into my eyes.

I flipped on some random channel for background noise and Kendall and I continued talking. Talking about nothing at all. I enjoyed his company, sitting there on the pull out couch.

**Thanks for reading. Now you can help out. Arianna needs songs to sing for the concert. Let me know what song you think she should sing along with a reason why it would be perfect for the story. One solo will be chosen along with a song for her to sing with BTR. Good Luck!**


	17. Goodmorning Sunshine

**Hey everyone it's time for another update. I'll remind you that I do not own the guys who make up Big Time Rush. Since I only received one song recommendation, I've chosen my own. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

I woke up the next morning and looked around the hotel room. I was lying in the bed next to Staci's and the door combining the two hotel rooms was wide open. If I remembered correctly I had fallen asleep on the pullout couch in the other room. Staci's bed was empty and I could hear the shower running in the bathroom. James and Logan were conversing in the adjoining room.

"Oh good you're awake," Kendall said walking into my room. "I thought you'd be more comfortable sleeping in the bed."

"I was wondering how I got here," I said looking at him. He looked so amazing with bed hair standing feet away from me in boxers and a t-shirt.

"You kicked me at about three a.m. So I moved you out here. I had a feeling your dad would kill me if he found us sleeping in the same bed." Kendall sat at the foot of the bed.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked watching Kendall shake his head.

"No, it didn't hurt. But it was enough to wake me up. That and the fact that we left the television on. So I just carried you out here and put you in bed."

"You say it like it was no problem at all. Look at your shin, it so hurt when I kicked you, you have a bruise. I'm sorry."

"My leg isn't as bad as yours," Kendall said tracing the scar down my leg. It sent shivers down my spine.

"I should probably get ready, and so should you," I looked at the clock and added "we're leaving in about a half hour."

I walked into the bathroom after grabbing jeans and my favorite Hollister t-shirt. Staci was busy applying eye shadow as I entered the shower. I still felt Kendall's warm hands tracing the scar down my leg and tried washing it off. No matter what I attempted the sensation would not leave my skin. I gave up on the intense scrubbing and shut off the water. I grabbed the towel hanging outside and wrapped it around myself.

"What was all that grumbling about? You sounded like a mad woman," Staci said catching my eye in the mirror.

"Long story," I replied. I pulled on my clothes and started to run a comb through my damp hair.

"I have this weird feeling Kendall likes you, like likes you a lot."

"Oh puh-lease. I so do not need any more boy drama. Stace I'm sick and tired of it. Like you said I should stay single for a while."

"I never said that, ok maybe I did. But Ari, just give him a shot."

"I slept with him last night," I sighed putting down the loose powder brush I was just using. "Not sex sleep, but he and I fell asleep watching TV. He carried me to bed at three a.m."

"He's a keeper! Arianna do not let him go. You know what those…I'm not even going to mention those spoiled brats. But Ari they will try to steal him from you. You gotta make Kendall yours before they make him theirs," Staci said as she left the bathroom. "I'm going to find Logan."

* * *

"It's just not the same without Mom here," Philip said getting out of my dad's rental car.

I looked up at the empty mansion. My brother was right; it wasn't the same without my mom there to greet us. The atmosphere surrounding the place was depressing. I felt like if I took one step forward tears would just start falling down my face like a waterfall. I took a step back and found myself in Carlos's arms. He looked at me with big sad brown eyes. I couldn't move from where I was standing, it was like something was holding me there.

"It's going to be ok," Carlos said giving me a hug. "You're one of the bravest people I know."

"I don't know if I want to go in there," I said stepping back one more time. "I can't go in there. Dad I'm just going to show the guys around. We'll be back later."

"You're not going to cry on me are you," James asked giving me a hug.

"I think I might." I hid my face in his shirt. "I just really need to get out of here."

"I'll drive," Staci said. She took the keys from me and slid into the driver's seat. "Ari, just take a deep breath. We'll be out of here in no time."

"I'm so sorry Arianna," Kendall said wrapping his big arms around my tiny body. He helped me get into the car. I could barely stand on my own, from the shock.

"Thanks guys. I didn't think it would hit me this hard. I thought I was over it," I sighed. "I just cannot be here. Do you have any idea how weird it was on mother's day? I spent the entire day bawling my eyes out."

I watched the huge house become a little speck as Staci drove down the street. Horses were grazing in the fields surrounding the road, only ten of them would be coming back to California with me. Staci merged onto the interstate to take us up to Schuylkill County to show the boys Centralia. The cars in the opposing lane didn't seem to be moving at all compared to the speed of Staci's driving. I rested my head on Kendall's shoulder and continued to look out the window at the mountains. I played through songs in my head searching for something if anything to sing tomorrow. Several came to mind to honor my mother, but I needed something for the fans to enjoy.

"How's it going," Kendall said helping me out of the van. "Who new Staci could drive a minivan like a racecar?"

"It's ok now that I'm away from there. That house is just so depressing," I managed to say without tearing up again.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable this morning. You were wrong about this place, it's interesting. It looks like something out of a movie."

"Don't fall in," Logan shouted running up behind us. "And why don't you kiss her just to get it over with. You know you want to."

"I'd rather not kiss her," Kendall defended.

"Oh but Kendall you know you want to kiss me. So why don't you just kiss me, right here and now in these old coal fields," I teased tracing my finger down his cheek. "You didn't shave this morning did you?"

"What do I need to shave every day? I would have shaved if I had more time to get ready this morning," Kendall said.

"Just kiss already," James shouted pushing the two of us together. "It's not like she'll eat you."

"I won't make you do it, if you don't want to." I leaned away from Kendall and watched his facial expression.

"I'm not afraid to kiss you. I want to actually, the timing just isn't right. Plus who wants to share their first kiss with a bunch of people," Kendall whispered into my ear. "I really do like you Arianna, but now isn't the time."

"I understand it's all just a joke anyway for them. If we were to kiss I'd rather it be serious and meaningful. Not that it wouldn't be meaningful right now. I hate explaining myself."

"Then don't, you don't have to explain anything to me. Except for how you know about this place."

"Everyone knows about Centralia," Staci said. "And now you will go deep into a coal mine at our next stop then the whole mine thing is over."

"It's not going to collapse or anything is it?" James asked.

"Seeing as how they've been giving tours there since like forever I really don't think so," I said walking back to the mom van.

* * *

"What are you doing out here?" Carlos asked me. "It's nearly midnight and you have a concert tomorrow and a birthday party."

I stood looking out at the green pastures where horses were grazing. "I'm just thinking. Half of these guys will be sold next week. I just wish they all could come to California with me."

"Maybe they can."

"Yeah but they can't. I have to sell ten of them. I love all these horses."

"There's a therapeutic riding center that can probably use them. They need to turn people away because they don't have enough horses. I mean they won't be yours but they will be close to home. Have you thought of songs to sing?"

"Yeah, there's this one "Fight Like a Girl" that I want to sing in remembrance of my mom. I just haven't thought of one to sing with you guys yet. The others I have lined up."

"We'll come up with something. What about that 'American Honey' song by Lady Antebellum? I just heard it on the radio on my way out here. That's a guy and a girl singing."

"You know they have a better one, it's called 'Stars Tonight'. It would be perfect. Do you think you guys can pull off country?"

"It won't hurt to try."

**Thank you for reading.**


	18. This One's For You

**I'll remind all of you once again I do not on Big Time Rush, Hershey Park, "Fight Like a Girl" or "Stars tonight" I suggest you Google the songs and find them on YouTube or something to listen to them before you read the story it will make it have more meaning to you. I also suggest if you haven't read the past chapters before this one to do so that will also help you. Thank You!**

"Who stole my iPod?" James shouted early the next morning.

"I did," I said walking out of my room. "Here take it and give the guys there's too. I added the song you're singing with me today. Listen to it and learn it."

"Shut up, you are so freaking loud James," Logan groaned stepping out a spare bedroom. "What time is Staci coming?"

"She's meeting us there," I answered and walked over to Kendall's room. "Good morning sleepy head. Time to wake up and get ready for the day."

I walked over to the bed and sat at the foot of it. Kendall was slowly waking up from his sleep. The red sheets were rising and falling with his every breath. He sat up and looked at me.

"Good morning beautiful. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Well this is my house and I wanted to give you enough time to shave today. But the stubble is manly, so it's up to you."

"That all depends would you like a kiss like this," Kendall said kissing my cheek. "Or one without all the stubble."

"I really don't mind the pricklies. But do you want to perform with slight facial hair? Remember the fans think you're sixteen and not nineteen."

"Pricklies you are just too cute Arianna. Well seeing as how I'm sixteen I better go shower and shave, to make myself younger."

"I'll see you later and James has your iPod. Don't ask, you shall learn later," I said as I left the room.

I walked back to my bedroom the same room I grew up in and took it all in. This wasn't my home anymore. I belonged back in California with my friends and what was left of my family. The room never looked so empty; all that was left was a dresser and the bed. I sat on the window sill looking out at the horses. A light breeze made the leaves dance in the maples and oaks.

* * *

"You want me to sing a country song," James asked as we piled into my car. "It is a good song, but country!?"

"We'll practice, it's not all that bad," I said turning on the radio and following my dad down the driveway.

"I'm not doing it. You can't make me sing this song," James shouted in protest.

"Please James, for me," I begged. "I really want to finish the concert with a song with you guys. It would be stupid if you were the only one missing."

"Yeah it's not that bad. And it's only for the second show," Carlos said. "Whoa what's that thing?"

"Looks like a roller coaster to me," Logan joked.

"An amazingly awesome looking roller coaster," Carlos shouted over the CD. "And there's another one. I can't believe your grandma has her birthday here! She has to be the most awesome grandma, next to my grandma."

"Yeah the Fahrenheit and Stormrunner, you'd probably cry on them Carlos," I teased. "And I won't be there holding your hand."

"You beat me to that one," Logan said opening the car door. He ran like a five year old in a toy store when he spotted Staci.

"If they don't get married, then it will probably be the end of the world," Kendall said.

"Stop your bellyaching and come on my nana really wants to meet you guys. She loves meeting new people." I elbowed Kendall in the gut.

We followed Staci and Logan into the park and the boys ran off in different directions. If it weren't for my nana's party I wouldn't have chased them down. It was strange walking through the near empty park with the boys not far behind. I pointed out where the concert would be and a few rides on our walk toward the party. My nana was sitting on a chair in the middle of my family members. Out of the corner of my eye I could see those bitchy twins walking toward my best guy friends. There was no way they were going to get their way today.

"Hi Nana," I said. "This is Logan, Kendal, Carlos and James. They're so excited to meet you."

"I know Staci is dating Logan, but who are you dating Arianna. You always have a guy on your arm. You're a very lovely young woman," my nana said.

"Oh I'm uh…," I got out before Kendall cut me off.

"She's dating me. I'm so lucky to be her boyfriend she's an amazing person. I also want to wish you a very happy birthday," he said wrapping his arm around my shoulder then whispered. "I'm not going to let you look like a fool in front of your family."

Staci and I introduced the guys to other members of the family before walking through to park. We walked toward the zoo first.

"You made me look like an even bigger fool, you idiot," I said playfully shoving Kendall. "Thank you though. You really didn't have to do that. I could have told her I was single."

"Yeah but I didn't want those twins thinking I was single. I do not want to date them. No offence but they look like witches," Kendall said.

"None taken. I can't stand those whores," Stacie sighed. "They are so nasty and mean and I just can't stand them. They think everything belongs to them."

"Staci, do me a favor and relax," Logan said stopping her. "I don't like you when you're angry."He kissed her and the continued on their merry way.

We walked through Zoo America stopping to look at several animals along the way. Carlos was having fun making faces at the black bear while James and Kendall were pretending to be the prairie dogs. Staci and Logan went off on their own into the park. I walked toward the lone mountain lion resting on the hill. It looked so alone like I was feeling, Carlos had the bear, Staci and Logan each other, and James and Kendall well they had prairie dogs. I was feeling left out like the big cat. The lion began passing around its cage, and I watched it with heartache.

"I hate seeing you so sad Arianna," Kendall said walking up behind me. "You're prettier when you smile. But you are beautiful when you're sad."

I wrapped my arms around him and didn't want to let go. His eyes looked down on me.

"It's just he looks so sad and lonely," I said.

"Carlos and James went off to find that roller coaster so it's just you and me for the rest of the day. You don't need to be lonely like that mountain lion. So are you ready to go?"

"If I said no you'd make me go anyway. So sure lets go Mr. Prairie Dog. I've got about three hours before I need to get ready."

"You know you could let go," Kendall said looking down at my arms.

"I know but you never gave me that kiss you were talking about," I said.

"Later now come on we have less than three hours now, you big flirt."

"Oh now I'm the flirt!" I said running through the zoo. "Well then you're the tease."

I began to run slower and waited for Kendall to catch me. His footsteps began to get louder before I heard his breathing. Arms wrapped around me and stopped me in my tracks. I spun around and looked up into Kendall's eyes and smiled. He started laughing and grabbed my hand to lead me away.

"I thought we would go on this first," Kendall said leading me over to one of the rides.

"So you're in charge," I questioned.

"Well this is the Kissing Tower isn't' it?"

"Yes that it is. But don't you want to go on a roller coaster first?"

"Nope this one is perfect for me and I thought you wanted that kiss."

"So that's what you have in mind."

He nodded and we stepped on the gigantic Hershey Kiss. We walked to the back of the ride and stood by one of the windows. The doors were closed and the Kiss began to rise in the air.

"This is probably one of the cheesiest things I have done," Kendall said looking out the window and down at the park.

"You know I think it's really sweet," I said looking down at the line forming for the concert. "Look at all those people in line already."

"I don't blame them I'd wait in line to see you in concert, but I don't have to. I've gotten to sing with you," Kendall said kissing me lightly. "It was one of the best things ever next to kissing you."

* * *

I walked on stage for my last song of the first set. A chair was placed center stage and I sat down, my guitar in hand. The stage felt cold under my bare feet and I raised them onto the bar between the legs. I looked out into the audience to take it all in.

"As you many of you know my mother had recently died of breast cancer. It's something she had been battling for many years. This song is for her," I said and began to play the first few cords.

"Little girl alone on the playground  
Tired of gettin' teased and gettin' pushed around  
Wishin' she was invisible  
To them

She ran home cryin'  
"Why do they hate me?"  
And Mama wiped the tears and said  
"Baby, you're brave and you're beautiful.  
So, hold your head high.  
Don't ever let 'em define  
The light in your eyes.  
Love yourself, give them Hell.  
You can take on this world.  
You just stand and be strong  
And then fight  
Like a girl."

At 31 she was wheelin' and dealin'  
Kept on hittin' that same glass ceilin'  
She was never gonna be one of the boys, no  
She coulda gave up on her ambition  
And spent the rest of her life just wishin'  
Instead she listened to her mama's voice sayin'

"Hold your head high.  
Don't ever let 'em define  
The light in your eyes.  
Love yourself, give them Hell.  
You can take on this world.  
You just stand and be strong  
And then fight  
Like a girl."

Oh, with style and grace  
Kick ass and take names

Ten years of climbin' that ladder  
Oh, but money and power don't matter  
When the doctor said "the cancer spread"  
She holds on tight to her husband and babies  
And says "this is just another test God gave me.  
And I know just how to handle this"

I'll hold my head high  
I'll never let this define  
The light in my eyes  
Love myself, give it Hell  
I'll take on this world  
If I stand and be strong  
No, I'll never give up  
I will conquer with love  
And I'll fight like  
Like a girl "  
I felt the tears spill from my eyes as I stepped down from the stool and walked of stage. I grabbed a tissue from Staci and slowly slid down the wall to the floor.

"That was beautiful Arianna. It made me cry too," Staci said sliding down next to me. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "Your mom would have loved it. I'm going out there with you next time. I figured you needed another female voice to even it out a bit."

"You're the best friend a girl could ever ask for Stace. Thanks," I said giving my cousin a hug.

"I think I could do a country song for you," James said sitting across from us.

"what are we all going to sit on the floor now," I sighed as the others joined us.

"Well you're down here," Carlos said. "So we had to join you."

"I wasn't staying down here forever. I've got to change and fix my makeup. The next show isn't that far away. So go get yourselves fixed up while I get ready myself," I said getting up and following Staci to get ready.

Staci and I got ready for the next concert. One of which many of our family members would be attending. I finished my first few songs and got ready to introduce the guys.

"Recently I've been guest starring on this amazing show called 'Big Time Rush'," I said as the crowd burst into applause. "The guys and I are great friends so I'd like to you give a big warm welcome to Kendall, James, Logan, Carlos, and my best friend and cousin Staci.

The five of them ran on stage as the song began to play. "Every time we point to you, we want you to sing "Yeah Yeah Yeah," Staci said.

Kendall started singing "Girls in their heels and a skinny pair of blue jeans" and stopped to allow me and everyone else to sing along.

"Boys in their black pearl buttons looking just like Springsteen  
Mama says "Why you wanna play in a silly rock and roll band?"  
Well if you stood here, Mom, I know you'd understand

It's the lights, it's the high  
It's the roar of the crowd on a Friday night

And everybody's screaming out yeah, yeah, yeah  
And everybody's singing out yeah, yeah, yeah  
Get on your feet if it feels good, it feels right  
'Cause we're all stars tonight  
So sing it out yeah, yeah, yeah

Let's all get a little rowdy - gonna party all night long  
And boys sway with your girls when we play a little slow song  
Put your hands in the air, shine a lighter or a cell phone  
You better buy another round, we ain't going home

On the floor, in the stands, tonight we're all in the band

And we're screaming out yeah, yeah, yeah  
And everybody singing out yeah, yeah, yeah  
Get on your feet if it feels good, it feels right  
'Cause we're all stars tonight  
So sing it out yeah, yeah, yeah

Everybody's screaming out yeah, yeah, yeah  
Everybody's singing out yeah, yeah, yeah

And Everybody's screaming out yeah, yeah, yeah  
Everybody's singing out yeah, yeah, yeah  
Get on your feet if it feels good, it feels right  
'Cause we're all stars tonight  
So sing it out yeah, yeah, yeah"

"Ok that song was fun," James said when we ran off stage. "I loved getting the audience involved. They were so into it. Thank you so much for inviting us to do this with you."

"Thank you guys for coming along with me," I said giving them all a hug. "I really enjoyed it."

**Thank you everyone so much for reading this story. I'm enjoying writing it for you. even though sometimes I get major writers block, I still want to get something posted ASAP for all of you to read. It's even better knowing that my little story has motivated many of you to create your own fan fiction. I wish you the best of luck on your own journey through this experience of writing. Once again thank you so much for reading and reviewing and favoriting this story (even though favoriting isn't a word). It feels so great, because this is my first creation I have shared with others.**


	19. What Are You Doing Here?

**Oh things are just starting to get interesting for Arianna. Two new characters are introduced in this chapter, you've met them before but they're here to stay. Anyway I do not own the guys who make up BTR.**

I fell asleep that night replaying everything in my head. Everything from Kendall telling my grandmother he was dating me to kissing me in the Kissing Tower to the concert. I gazed out the window with a smile on my face thinking about the kiss. It was something I would certainly never want to forget. A summer breeze blew through the window making the curtains dance. I heard footsteps of my father in the hallway double checking that everyone was where they should be. Staci was already asleep in the twin mattress lying next to mine. I slowed my breathing to match hers and drifted off into a deep slumber.

I woke the next morning to something wet nudging my face and the door cracked open. Peanut Staci's miniature bull terrier was watching me like nobody's business.

"Sorry Ari, Peanut can't control herself. She's happy to be coming to California," Staci said rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"I almost forgot about that. Did I tell you that Kendall kissed me yesterday and it was the most amazing things in the entire world," I said running my hand through the dog's fur.

"I believe someone told me. I'm not sure if it was you or not, but somebody did tell me. It was probably Logan the bestest boyfriend I've ever had. I should probably go wake him up since we're leaving soon."

"Yeah not something I'd want to do. He freaked yesterday when James woke him up yelling," I said. "I'm going to start packing."

"You're boyfriend's walking down the hallway," Staci said walking out the door.

Kendall walked into the bedroom just like Staci said he would. The floor creaked as he headed toward me. I watched him look around the room and waited for him to say something. Kendall's eyes stopped at the Cole Hamels autographed photo on my nightstand and picked it up.

"I don't see why this guy is so hot," he said making air quotes around hot. "All I see is an over glorified baseball pitcher in pinstripe pants. Big deal."

"You see Kendall you have a penis and are not gay, since you kissed me and are now currently my boyfriend, so you would not like another person with a penis. I just think he's very good-looking."

"Where does that leave me the one with a penis?"

"Let's see, Cole is very high on that list and you are too but one is higher than the other. I just don't want to tell you, it's more fun letting you keep guessing."

"I could help you with your packing if you want me too. My bag is already in the van. I swear I will not touch your underwear."

"No you just want to see them. Wait a minute you do want to touch them, too, you little liar," I said throwing a pair of underwear at him from my dresser. I was shocked when he caught them and threw t them in the suitcase like they carried a disease.

"Now that was cheating Arianna," Kendall said giving me a hug. "I don't think I want to kiss you now and I really wanted to."

"Well that sucks for you doesn't it," I said running my hand down his arm. "It was just underwear you wear them too. Clean ones at that. Now wipe that frown off y our face mister and help me get ready. Please."

"Only because you said please," Kendall said releasing me and taking a step back. He nearly tripped over Peanut causing me to laugh.

"You almost killed Peanut." I leaned over and picked up the black and white dog. "Staci would not be happy with you if you did."

"You're taking a dog on the plane?"

"Yeah. We're taking a private jet home. My dad is looking to buy it so he wants to take a test drive. I'll never understand the strange ways of my family. They always have to buy something new and expensive to better someone else. It's like this big contest or something. Staci and I think it's pretty funny." I put Peanut down and watched Kendall's facial expression.

"I don't get it your family seems so plain and simple but you have all these luxuries; mansions, stables, airplanes. It's strange if you ask me," Kendall said leaning in for a kiss. "But I don't think I would like you so much if you weren't unique. I like that you're not like any other girl in Hollywood."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"I think it's a good thing. It's awesome that you don't brag about your fame. It's pretty annoying when people do it."

"Oh didn't I tell you how famous I am," I joked and grabbed my suitcases. "Now come on we're leaving soon."

"I'll carry your bags. Mine are already downstairs," Kendall said reaching for my two suitcases.

"But I already have them."

"I was just trying to be nice and not look like a complete jerk for not helping you."

"Fine take this one. If you're going to be a baby about it," I said handing him the bag. "Thank you."

I watched the trees blowing in the wind as my dad drove the van down our long driveway. The house wouldn't look the same when I returned home. The horses would no longer be grazing in the pastures welcoming me to my childhood home. Everything that belongs to me that's here in Pennsylvania will be in California before I even know they left that house. I recalled running through the pastures with Staci playing princesses when we were young. I've had plenty of memories at this house but it's no longer home. Home is in California where I can't walk down the street without people calling my name. Home has palm breezes and ocean breezes, not pines and maples. Most of all home is where my new best friends and my future are. Of course I could always come back here to visit but it will never truly be the same as what I remember it.

My dad smiled when we pulled up to the airport and his plane was sitting there ready for us to board. It was nice to see him happy again. I guess all he needed to get over his depression was to buy something big and expensive. It was a nice plane; I could see why he was so excited about it. I was excited about it two until I saw Dawn and Amy the awful bitchy twins.

"What the fuck are they doing here," Staci shouted in disgust.

"Just shoot me now. Please end my misery please. I so do not want to get on a plane with those sluts," I sighed.

"Would the two of you stop your whining? They can't be that bad," Carlos said.

"Oh they are that bad, Carlos. I hate to say it but they are that bad. Their main goal is to destroy Arianna's life. They cannot stand the fact that she is famous. They also hate me since Arianna chose me as her favorite cousin and not one of them. But whatever their just a bunch of whorebags," Staci said.

"I just want to let you know they are not staying in MY HOUSE," I shouted at my dad. I was so furious that Amy and Dawn were going back to California with us. There goes my freedom from them right down the toilet. "I'll burn it down before they move in there."

"We're staying in an apartment. There's no way we'd live with a bitch like you," Dawn shouted of the roar of the engines.

"Girls stop fighting and get in the plane," my dad yelled glaring at me the entire time. "Or you'll stay here."

"Can I just shove them out of the plane?" I asked Staci who nodded.

Staci stopped the guys before they got on the plane. "Talk to them and you're dead to me. Especially you Logan."

"Staci, I love you and only you. You know that. I don't think I could ever like those two anyway," Logan said kissing her on the cheek. He took her hand and they walked on to the plane.

"Can I talk to them to call them a bunch of jerks? I don't like them talking to my best friend like that. I'm sorry Arianna," Carlos said giving me a hug that nearly knocked me over.

"You're my best friend too Carlos. But insulting them will only make it worse. So just ignore them. They won't' last long in California."

"Good I don't like you angry," Kendall said kissing me. "I just thought you might want to piss them off one more time before you go on your 'I'm ignoring you' streak."

"You're good Kendall really good," I told him walking onto the plane and sitting toward the back. "But I won't be ignoring you. Unless I'm napping then I won't be talking to you."

"I hope you don't snore. That would be a major turn off. I don't think we can write with you snoring. This may also keep you awake," Kendall said opening his guitar case.

"Yeah snoring would be a distraction," Logan said flipping through his notebook.

I watch the guys sit around Kendall singing, writing, and having fun together. It was pretty crazy that they chose a plane ride to sit and write songs together. I had to admit it was going alone very well, at least from what I could hear. I on the other hand was going over my script for the sequel to the hit movie that made me more famous than I could possibly imagine. Too bad I had to tell the guys I wouldn't be working on Big Time Rush with them anymore. The big problem with filming a movie on location in London, I would be leaving my best friends behind for three months. I could sense someone was reading the script over my shoulder and turned around to see Amy.

"See anything interesting," I said through my teeth.

"Oh sorry Arianna, I'm just so bored. Dawn is being a major bitch and I'm just sick and tired of being mean to you. I only do it because she is too and I can't have my sister hating me. Oh please forgive me," Amy said getting up and sitting beside me.

"Amy, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. I mean who cares if Dawn hates you. To tell you the truth I always had a feeling Dawn was pressuring you to be someone you're not. Amy I don't think I even know the real you. You probably have this amazing personality underneath that bitterness Dawn has lead you to believe is the real you."

"Arianna you are so sweet. I feel awful for being so nasty to you. If anything I hope you forgive me for being a major asshole to you." Amy said giving me a hug.

"Its fine I wasn't exactly the nicest person either so just call it even. But you should be apologizing to Staci she took all of this the hardest."

"Thank you Arianna. I'll go talk to her now."

It was outlandish for Amy to be so sympathetic. But how should I know Amy on a regular basis, she was always with her sister. I don't think her own parents knew who Amy is on the inside. Now that I think about it it's rather depressing that she lets her twin rule her life. I watched as the redhead apologized to Staci. It was truly a genuine apology I could see it in her eyes as she pleaded with the darker haired girl. Then I turned to look at the boys, James ripped the notebook out of Carlos's hands and threw it on the ground. Apparently he wasn't too fond of the song. I walked back to where they were, picked up the notebook, and sat by Kendall. We were somewhere over Missouri so I knew I had time to help tweak their song into something that was decent. I read over the lyrics quickly and didn't see anything wrong with it. I laughed and handed the notebook back to Carlos to let them continue writing.

**Please review. I hope you're enjoying reading this story. Thank you so much for reading it.**


	20. Oh Hello

**It's been ages since I updated last. Super sorry about that for those of you who wanted more. I've been busy with the Sims 3 Ambitions, and writing little by little. Anyway here's a brand spanking new chapter for you to enjoy.**

"Carlos the song is beautiful. I couldn't' think of a girl who wouldn't love it being sung to her. James is just being a jerk because he probably didn't think of it before you," I said.

"Thank you Arianna but we all worked on it. I'm just writing the ideas down," Carlos sighed erasing half of what he had written.

"I thought you told us not to talk to them," Logan said pointing toward Staci and Amy. "And there Staci is talking to one of them. Gosh I love her."

"We know you love her. You say it every day at least a thousand times. It's slowly getting old," Kendall groaned.

"What's getting old?" Staci asked as she and Amy walked back to join us. "I'm sorry but Dawn is just such a freaking bitch. Did you not see the way she looked at you when you started talking to Ari and me?"

"Well Staci that is a lot of questions to be asking. Logan saying he loves you every fifteen seconds is getting old. And I did see the way Dawn was looking at us. I'm at the point where I don't care what she does," I sighed resting against Kendall.

James and Carlos looked dumbfounded. It could have been that Amy was with Staci after Staci had told them not to speak to her. I watched Staci flirt with Logan by just using her eyes. Ok I admit it, those two were so freaking adorable together. Plus I was already visioning myself as her maid of honor at their wedding. I noticed Carlos now flirting away with Amy it was always a competition with those boys. Carlos won this contest; he was already entering Amy's number into his cell. The look on James's face was enough to break anyone's heart. He was looking like a puppy in the pound that people kept walking by without looking at. I admit that I felt slightly bad for him, but he and I would never work out. We're just way too different, the only thing we have in common is we both work on the same television show. I scooted closer to Kendall and studied my script some more. I didn't want to leave Big Time Rush, but I did want to see my old costars.

"Whatcha looking at," Kendall questioned looking over my shoulder and kissing my cheek.

"Just this script, it's for the sequel. I'm headed to London next week to start filming," I answered. "I'll be gone for about three months. I already miss you guys."

"You're leaving me," Carlos shouted. "But you're my TV girlfriend you can't leave."

"I'll be back…in three months," I lied. I didn't know if I would be back on Big Time Rush for all I know I was pretty much finished on that show. I did my job I made it more popular but now I'm done.

"I'll miss you," Kendall whispered in my ear. His warm breath tickled my neck.

"And you don't think I'll miss you either?" I whispered back and then gently kissed his cheek.

"Are you going with her," Logan questioned letting Staci free from his arms.

"No someone's gotta make sure you four don't murder yourselves. I'm only going with her for a week. Just a little vacation and then my auditions start," Staci answered staring at him.

"You're the funny one aren't you," Amy flirted.

"Yeah they say I'm funny," Carlos said looking at his notebook. He looked at me and mouthed. "I'm not supposed to talk to her right?" I shook my head no to tell him it was ok and he continued talking to Amy.

I leaned further into Kendall and started plucking the strings of his guitar. I wanted him to play me something. Something that we could all sing together to bring us back to LA. But most of all I wanted him to play me a song. I smiled at him and he still didn't get the point. I lifted Kendall's hands of my shoulders and placed them on his guitar and mouthed the words 'Play me something, anything that comes to mind.' He started playing the first few cords of a song and asked me if the song was ok. I nodded yes and then asked everyone to sing along with me. To be honest I just wanted to sing with everyone again.

Music filled the back of the airplane and we all began singing along. Before I knew it my dad was singing with us, then Philip joined in. Dawn on the other hand looked like she wanted to shoot me in the head which only made me belt out the lyrics louder. By the end of the song the plane began its descent. I looked at Staci and we laughed. There's nothing more ridiculous than singing a song as loud as you possibly can just to piss someone off. I felt the plane bounce down the runway as we landed and grabbed on to Kendall's arm. I guess I missed the pilot telling everyone to have a seat for landing.

"Oh hello," I laughed as he and I fell into the seats.

"Hey, how's it going up there," Kendall joked. I stood up and reached my hand down to his to help him up off the seat.

"I don't know you tell me," I said when he got up. "I think it's going very well."

"It could be better if this annoying blonde wasn't standing next to me," Kendall said gently kissing me. "But everyone has their flaws."

"Guess you haven't looked in a mirror recently, have you blondie."

"You definitely are the best at comebacks, Arianna," Carlos said before he walked off the plane.

"Do you wanna come riding with me? A few of the horses need to be worked and well I was wondering if you'd want to help me," I asked Kendall

"Can I drop this stuff of at my place first?"

"Duh, of course you're dropping your things off. And you think I'm the stupid annoying blonde."

I grabbed my suitcases and slowly walked toward my father's truck. Kendall wasn't too far behind, being chased by Peanut. I popped the trunk of my Mustang and helped Kendall load in his luggage. It felt amazing to be back home in California. Here the air was humid and smelt like the ocean, back in Pennsylvania the air smelt like manure. I watched Carlos and James fight over who was riding home with Staci.

"I'd take one of them but my car is jam packed with nonsense stuff that I brought back with me," I said.

"They'll get over it. They're still fighting over Amy. James has a hard time letting go of the fact that Carlos won this round," Kendall said sliding into the passenger seat. "Gosh I am so glad to be back in California. Don't get me wrong you're hometown is amazing."

"Oh stop trying to make it better and let's drop your stuff off at your place. I really cannot leave Storm unworked for longer than three days. You think he's a monster now, wait till you see him when we get to the barn."

I walked into the barn and heard kicking and anxious whinnying coming from Storm's stall. Kendall stood at the doorway terrified at the sound of the distraught horse. I quickly opened the stall door, entered the stall, and then shut it behind me. The big black horse looked at me with frightened brown eyes and stayed in the corner.

"Kendall, can you bring me and apple please and something to get rid of a mouse?" I shouted. "The apples are in the basket next to the tack room."

"This big guy is afraid of a mouse? He could squish the little rodent," Kendall said when he saw the little grey mouse.

"What would you rather do; feed him the apple or chase the mouse?"

"Chase the mouse. I'm afraid of that huge horse."

"Fine, but you better hurry. I can't keep him calm for much longer."

I watched as Kendall stood behind the mouse and lightly kicked it out the door. It was sad to see the little mouse be picked up by one of the barn cats but Storm's happiness changed that. Kendall looked so triumphant after chasing the little mouse toward the cat.

"Why Mr. Schmidt you are definitely the best mouse chaser I've ever met," I said wrapping my arms around him. "Thank you."

"I don't think I've ever chased a mouse from a horse before. It sounds like Staci and Logan are coming," Kendall said and I heard the voices he was talking about.

"Alyson called. She wanted to know if you two were rooming together in London. I told her you'd call her back. I wanted to show Logan the baby and then we're going riding," Staci said.

"You can come with us. We were just trying to get rid of a mouse," Kendall said.

"Kendall saved Storm's life," I said hugging the big horse's neck. "And then Jet saved Kendall by catching the mouse."

"Sounds like fun, I'll just go bring in Summer and Lucky. Logan would you help me please?" Staci said.

"You my friend get Jack today. He's one of the few horses that Storm can stand being next to. That's why we put them across from each other. I actually had to take Jack to shows just to calm Storm down. The two are brothers," I said leading Jack out of his stall.

"Would you just shut up and kiss me," Kendall said wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me in for a kiss. "Sometimes you just explain way too much. It's kinda cute. I'll miss that when you're in London."

**Please review I need more motivation.**


	21. I Forgot

**Ok so the guys who make up Big Time Rush do not belong to me whatsoever. Just a warning this chapter is basically filler you'll understand once you read my closing comments.**

I packed my bags for the second time that week, but this time my trip would be longer and in a country where they spoke in funny accents. Of course I probably have a funny accent too, coming from the coal region of Pennsylvania. I looked over at Kendall and Carlos who were sitting on my bed watching my every move. They looked at me like I was leaving and never coming back. Three months isn't a very long time once you think about it. I heard footsteps in the hallway and a few seconds later Logan and James joined them. Staci dropped her bag in the hallway next to Amy's.

"Would you guys stop looking at me like I'm dying? I'll be back for thanksgiving. It's not like Europe is going to keep me forever. I have to leave there sometime," I said while zipping up a suitcase.

"Three months in London is a long time though Ari. I will admit, I'm going to miss Carlos," Amy said sitting down next to him. "But I am so glad I got that part."

"Looks like the double A will become the triple A," Staci said.

"Triple A?" One of the guys asked. I wasn't positive who it was.

"Yeah Aly, Amy, and myself. Triple A, like the battery. The producer gave us the name double A, since Aly and I were inseparable and the main characters in the movie."

"Only because the two of them are full of energy and keep everyone on their toes during filming. I think that was when Andrew gave the two of you energy shots in your orange juice," Staci said cuddling close to Logan on my couch.

"You're violating my couch. And yes that was Andrew because then we t-ped his hotel room. That was one of my favorite days," I said. "Well I should probably get to the airport. We're meeting Alyson in New York and heading off to London."

"I am so excited. I've never been to London or been in a huge world known movie sequel, let alone a movie," Amy exclaimed. "I'll call you every day Carlos well um I'll try to."

"And you Mister. I'll be back next Monday. I've already looked into a few apartments, so we won't really have much to look into," Staci said wrapping her thin arms around him.

"Sounds good to me. I was going to check into a few while you're gone. I've found a nice one that's pet friendly for Peanut," Logan said.

"Wait you two are moving in with each other?" James questioned. "Not only just moving in but finding an apartment together."

"Yeah we're moving in together. Do you have a problem with that James?" Staci fumed. "Pay attention if you're going to eavesdrop. That way you don't have to be rude and ask questions about a conversation you weren't in to begin with."

"Chill Stace, I think its sweet you two are moving in together," I said to her before opening the door to her car.

"Thanks, Ari. I guess we shall get going to the airport. Seeing as you two need to be in London tomorrow to start rehearsing," Staci sighed. "How'd the webcam read-through go?"

Staci started her car and pulled down my driveway followed by the boys. I turned around to see Carlos waving out the driver's window at someone taking their early morning jog. I laughed and then turned my attention back to the script sitting in my lap. They had a surprise for me in London, my character Madison's love interest in the film. I wasn't happy about the whole idea but I may as well just play along he could turn out to be cute.

I walked through airport security for the third time in the past week this time with my passport within reach for when we eventually landed in England. I looked toward Kendall who hadn't shown an ounce of emotion since he arrived at my house earlier that morning. There he stood at the gate, staring at the airplane, with his face blank.

"It's ok to say something. You haven't spoken to me all morning," I said to the tall blond in front of me.

"I'm really going to miss you Arianna. Who's going to cheer me up when things go wrong on set? Who's going to greet me every morning with a big smile on their face? Who's going to talk to me until 3am on the phone about absolutely nothing? Arianna I….well I love you," Kendall said finally looking at me.

"I'll miss you too," I got in before they gave the last call for the flight.

I ran to the boarding terminal and handing them my ticked and walked through the long walkway onto the plane. I still wasn't positive if what I had heard was correct coming from Kendall's mouth. Did he really love me, or was it to send me on a guilt trip.

"Hey girly, you look depressed what's up," Staci said as the plane began racing down the runway.

"Kendall told me he loved me, and I didn't say it back. I feel so freaking guilty. No correction I feel lower than dirt," I sighed keeping my attention to the window.

"Well that sucks. As soon as you can turn that phone of yours on call him or text him to tell him how you feel about him, even if you don't love him," Staci said.

"The thing is I do love him. Stace he's Prince Charming and I'm Cinderella. The only problem is this Cinderella has everything she could want and more; she's reversed roles with the Prince. The ball is for her not him. Dammit Stace I don't know what to do."

"Do exactly what Staci just told you to do, Ari. If you love Kendall back you've got to tell him. Don't keep leading him on," Amy said taking her eyes of the script she was reading.

"Every time I tell I guy I have feelings for him let alone tell him I love him someone always winds up getting hurt. I just have this gut feeling it's all too good to be true. Yes Kendall and I have been together for over a month and he's been nothing but good to me, but things change."

"Arianna Elizabeth Walker, Kendall is not like whatever his name was who only used you to become more famous. Kendall had no idea who you were and still wanted to get to know you better and become a couple. He's not lying to you, I don't think he could ever lie to you," Stacie sighed.

"Fine I'll go call him now." I said as I got up and walked to the bathroom. I dialed Kendall's number and waited for an answer.

"I believe I forgot to tell you something before I rushed into this airplane. That was that Kendall I love you too. I guess I was just shocked to hear you say it," I said when I heard him quietly say hello.

"Well that's a relief. I thought you hated me. You ran off so fast," Kendall said. I heard him sigh of relief and in the background Logan and Carlos were arguing. "Sorry about the background noise. We're helping Logan look for apartments."

"I need to get going I'm talking to you from inside the bathroom and the Clorox smell is getting nauseating. I'll call you when I land in London. Enjoy your shopping trip."

I walked back to my seat with several people giving me strange looks. I wanted so badly to say "yes I was just on the phone in the bathroom and it is none of your business" but my mother raised me better. I sat in my seat next to Staci and filled her and Amy in about my conversation. It felt great to finally tell Kendall how I felt about him. I guess with all that has happened I'm afraid to show my true feelings. Stacie had been telling me that I have been harder to read lately and have boxed myself in from everyone, even the guy that called himself my boyfriend.

"You look much happier now Ari," Amy said. "I prefer the happier you. The mean you reminds me of when you use to fight with me and Dawn all the time. I hated that. Who was I to let Dawn control my every action? Anyway back to happy thoughts, I just want to see the mystery man playing your love interest. He sounded ultra sexy during the read-through."

"Yeah I really do not want to share an onscreen kiss with some ugly guy. I just want to see the room they put us in. Aly said since you're staying with us we got the larger room. Instead of two beds it has three and a pull out couch. Along with two separate bathrooms, the thing is like an apartment," I said fastening my seatbelt for the landing.

I looked down at the Statue of Liberty and the sky scrapers of New York City. It was one of the many cities I loved but hated being in at the same time. I hated the feeling of all those people around you while you walked store to store, the nasty smell. Of course LA has its own nasty smell but I felt more comfortable walking those streets alone. Of course it was nothing like the outskirts of Harrisburg Pennsylvania. Nothing could ever compare to that.

**I would love to make this chapter much longer but now is when I need your help. You the reader get to decide who Arianna's mystery man is. Pick any celebrity male and let me know in your review. After June 30, 2010 I will no longer be taking recommendations as to who he should be. I have finals this upcoming week and won't be able to write until they are finished. May the best man win. I've always wanted to say that.**


	22. Far Away

**I'd like to thank the two people who have commented the last chapter with suggestions for Arianna's love interest in the movie. Congratulation goes to Volturi Princess on the suggestion of Alex Pettyfer.  
I looked into the suggestions and thought he would fit perfectly since he is from England where Arianna's film is being shot. Thank you again.**

I walked off the plane followed by Alyson and everyone else. We were greeted by nearly twenty people with cameras flashing pictures by the second. I felt an arm wrap around mine and pull me from the flashing cameras. In the process I reached for Aly's arm and pulled her with me. I looked at who had grasp of my arm and smiled when I realized it was Andrew and his body guard.

"Thank you Drew and Bill," I said giving the two of them a big hug. "I forgot how big we are in Europe."

"You mean you're not this famous back in the U.S.?" Andrew asked us.

"No we're not. I don't even have a body guard back home. I don't think Ari does either," Alyson said grabbing her bag off the luggage claim.

"No body guard for me. But I don't think there could be one better than Bill. I've never been dragged out of paparazzi like that before," I sighed.

"Ari, did you call Kendall?" Staci asked as we all slid into the limo.

"No I'm calling him when we get to the hotel. I just want to give him time to get home. Apparently they're still looking for an apartment for you and Logan." I answered reading the text Kendall sent me moments before. "Why do you need to talk to Mr. Lover Boy?"

"Uh duh. And I was just thinking those two might still be together with the others. I don't know I just really miss him, like a lot."

"Aww Stace. I'm sure he misses you too," Amy said pulling out her phone to text Carlos. "Carlos said that Logan really misses you and he found a house."

"Can I borrow your phone Amy, mines dead? I need to scream at Logan. I clearly said apartment not house." Staci shouted grabbing Amy's phone and quickly dialed Logan's number. "Logan I'm going to kill you. I told you I wanted an apartment not a house. We can look for a house when we're married if we ever get married. You just lucky I'm moving in with you. You're such an asshole." She shouted into the phone.

I looked at Andrew who couldn't believe what was going on. I started laughing at all of the nonsense. Andrew and Aly joined in and Staci shot us the death glare, making us laugh even harder. Amy was frowning and looking at the phone that was ripped from her hands. The limo stopped in front of the large hotel where the cast would be staying and Staci stopped her ranting and handed Amy her phone back.

We waited for Bill to come around to open the door for us so that people wouldn't swarm the limo. The door wasn't even open and I could see flashes from cameras. I stepped out first giving my best fake smiles while I raced through the throng of people. I walked through the hotel door and was greeted by the director standing with some guy I had never seen before.

"Well if it isn't my star Arianna Walker," Paul, the director said. "I'd like you to meet Alex; he'll be playing your character's love interest."

"Hello Paul, Alex," I said shaking each of their hands.

"It a pleasure to finally meet you Arianna, you are much more beautiful in person," Alex said with an oh so sexy English accent.

"Don't flatter yourself, she's taken," Amy said.

"That's my cousin Amy," I said introducing her to Paul. "I'll leave you three to talk. I need to unpack and call my boyfriend. I'll have Kendall pass on to Carlos that you'll call him later."

"Thank you Ari, Staci and Aly are already up in the room. Staci is still pretty angry with Logan so I would steer clear from her."

I walked toward the elevator stopping several times to say hello and even hug a few of the cast members I hadn't seen in a long time. When I got into the elevator I pressed the number ten, to go up to the suite. From outside the door I heard Staci cursing Logan repeatedly. Amy was right I should really steer clear from her. I walked into the suite and back toward the room that was to be my home for the next few months. The room was beautiful with a vase of flowers sitting on one of the night stands. With the flowers was a note from Paul welcoming me back. I sat on the bed admiring the artwork hanging from the wall. They gave the already elegant room a more Victorian look. After a few moments I found my phone in my purse I quickly dialed Kendall's number.

"Hey," a groggy voice said on the other end. "How's London?"

"I'm so sorry I woke you up," I said

"No its ok I was just napping, it's been a long day house and apartment hunting with Logan. I really miss you it would have been way better to spend the day with you than with them. Oh, Logan asked me to have you check your email as soon as possible and make sure Staci isn't around."

"I can do that right now. I miss you too. I met the mystery man as soon I walked into the hotel today. His name is Alex and he has an English accent so I'm guessing he's from somewhere in England. Wow that sounded really stupid. Anyway I can tell you one thing from the looks of it Carlos is a much better on screen boyfriend. But no one could be a better boyfriend than you."

"Don't you think you should be sleeping? It's got to be very early in the morning there," Kendall said sounding concerned. It made my heart flutter to know he cared so much about me. It was odd that he changed the subject right away, maybe he was jealous.

"But I wanted to call you first….Oh my God. Logan is planning on proposing to Staci. But she's so pissed off at him right now," I shrieked.

"Yeah he couldn't decide between those two rings and he thought you could help. It's pretty much the main reason he started looking at houses. He really loves her Arianna."

"I know that. I'll call you tomorrow. I've really got to get some sleep Kendall. I love you. And tell Logan I think Staci will like the first one."

"Sweet dreams Arianna, I love you too."

I couldn't fall asleep and kept replaying the sound of Kendall saying I love you over and over. Staci had the couch pulled out and was sleeping across the room from me. The alarm clock shown in bright numbers, glaring down at me, 2:32 they read. No matter how hard I tried sleep would not come to me. I looked back at the red numbers now showing 3:54. I tossed and turned in the bed until falling asleep moments later.

**I've had major writers block this chapter. The ideas were just not coming to my mind at all. I would really appreciate it if you would comment this little love story. Thanks to all of you who have joined me and Arianna through her journey. I will tell you right now the next chapter will hopefully be a billion times better.**


	23. One Month

**Once again I will say this nothing affiliated with BTR belongs to me at all.**

It's been a month since I've been in London. It's been a month away from my home, my family, and an incredibly long month away from Kendall. Most of all I missed going to work every day seeing the boys. In all honesty I truly just missed the boys. From my understanding my father has started dating again, Philip is back on Broadway and Logan has yet to propose to Stacie. So while I still haven't missed much, I feel like I'm missing out on everything.

But in London so far I've met the queen and had dinner with her. She's probably one of the nicest people I have ever met. I've filmed numerous scenes all while growing closer to the cast, especially Alex. Although I still don't want to kiss him. It just wouldn't feel right kissing him and then having to watch it with Kendall sitting next to me at the premier. Especially, since I haven't even kissed my own boyfriend in over a month.

I left theroom I 've been staying in to pick up a dress in the lobby. I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket answered it and said hello.

"Hello, beautiful. I'm just calling to tell you how much I missed you," Kendall said.

"I miss you so much Kendall, that it's not even funny. I have to go pick up a dress at the front desk but I can talk and walk at the same time. Did I tell you I had dinner with the queen?"

"I'm pretty sure you did. Why do you need to pick up a dress?"

"They need to know if it fits it was at the seamstress the past three days being hemmed and taken in. I need to wear it for this one scene, where I kiss Alex. I feel so guilty about kissing him that I don't want to do it."

"Why would you feel guilty I won't' hate you for it. It's just something you got to do for work. It's not going to bother me at all Arianna."

"I know but I'll just feel really guilty. Wait a minute, what is Carlos doing here? Aren't you guys supposed to be filming until next week?" I said noticing Carlos standing at the front desk of the hotel.

"They gave us our little break early," Kendall said as I felt arms wrap around me from behind.

I turned around and looked up into Kendall's eyes, which were blue today, and smiled. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug and buried my face in his chest. "I missed you" I breathed into the cloth.

"We wanted to surprise you and Logan hasn't popped the question yet. He thinks it will be more romantic here."

"You look super sleepy. Do you want to come take a nap? You can tell me how this ridiculous prom gown looks. Because I think people would pay to see this crappy gown. Oh wait they will when they go see the movie."

I walked into the bathroom located off my room to try the pale yellow gown on for Kendall. It looked much prettier on then it did hanging in wardrobe. The body of the gown fit tightly whereas the skirt fanned out and was almost as wide as the doorway. The bodice was covered in beds and sequins which faded out into the skirt. It was almost like it was a different gown that what I had seen a few days earlier.

"It's beautiful, Ari. I wish my dress were that pretty look at this stupid thing," Aly said walking out of her own bathroom in a red tight fitting strapless gown. "I wish I had a more princess like dress like yours. Of course my character is the tomboy. Even Amy has a prettier dress."

Amy walked out of her bedroom in an orange gown similar to mine but less extravagant. Carlos looked at her and his mouth nearly dropped to the floor. It could have been her zipper was undone and not only could her bra be seen but so could her striped underwear. I walked over to her and helped Aly ease up her zipper while slapping Carlos on the arm during my walk over.

"You are such a perve Carlos," Amy said going over to hug him.

"I just didn't know if I should help or what. So I just looked. Which from what Arianna did was a lot worse," Carlos sighed. "But the three of you look super pretty."

"You really do. I thought your dress was supposed to be ugly. You look like a princess Arianna. You all look like princesses," Kendall said placing his arm around my shoulder.

"It's a different dress and shouldn't you be napping!" I said ushering Kendall into the bedroom.

"You two better use a condom," James said stepping out of the kitchen with a bottle of water. "By the way Logan just called they'll have our rooms ready by six."

"That sounds good," Kendall said groggily as he walked into my room plopping down on the bed. "This is the most comfortable hotel bed I ever laid on."

"Only the best for the United Kingdom's most famous female next to the queen. I'm going to go change and I'll be back out. I'll probably just sit on the couch and read over my script," I said.

"Can't you lay with me? I missed you so much. Please Arianna."

"You won't stop begging will you," I sighed walking out of the bathroom in mesh shorts and an old t-shirt. "You're worse than a child"

"But the guilt trip is working. I can tell and you look twice as tired as I am."

"Since you won't give up I will sit in bed with you." I said adding extra emphasis on the word sit.

Kendall's eyes were locked on me as I walked toward the dresser to pick up my script. I did my best not to give him the eye contact he wanted. To tell you the truth I really didn't want to sit in bed with him. I wanted to be out in the sitting area with everyone else or running over lines with Alex in the lobby. The friendship between us was beginning to grow as was our on screen chemistry. We were the only two teen vampires in the movie, causing everyone to ignore us when we needed to stay in character. You see being a vampire in the movie was something everyone wanted because they're so rare. So of course the star is going to be one, causing me to be despised even more.

I placed my script on the night stand and curled up next to Kendall, wrapping my arm around his muscular form. He was way more toned than I remembered. I slowed my breathing to match his and drifted off to sleep. Hours later I woke up to Aly and Amy yelling about something to do with filming. I looked over at the waking form next to me.

"How long was I asleep," Kendall asked rolling over and kissing my cheek.

"You slept all night. It's just after six A.M. I really need to get ready to go. Filming starts at 7:30," I sighed walking toward the bathroom for a quick shower. "I'm going to shower and you should probably find out what room you're staying in."

"I guess I'll see you later then," Kendall said leaving the bedroom.

**The ideas were flowing on this chapter up until my computer got a virus. Hopefully more ideas will come to me. Enough with the excuses. Please review and possibly leave me some fantastic ideas.**


	24. Let's Play Pretend

**For a disclaimer they appear in the previous chapter.**

I hopped into the car with Alex to ride to set. Both of us looked exhausted beyond belief, like we didn't sleep in days. My dress swayed back and forth from the hook while Alex's tuxedo did the same. I started laughing at the ridicule of it all.

"What is so funny, Arianna," Alex asked me.

"Don't you think this is ridiculous? Both of us look like we haven't slept in weeks hardly anyone else in the cast will talk to us. Everyone is taking this way too seriously. I mean ever since my character has discovered what she was, a rather extremely rare vampire, no one has been talking to me. Is it some inside joke I missed," I sighed looking out the window. "No one even rides to work with us."

"You do have a point. They are taking this stay in character thing a little too seriously. It could also be we were the only two to dine with the queen."

"This is so juvenile, but I'm glad I have you to share it with."

"It will all be over soon. I hope," Alex said opening the car door and walking over to get mine. "We have a few more weeks to go."

"A long torturous few weeks, that will never end. The only people talking to me right now are you, my boyfriend, and my best guy friends. Seriously all I have right now are guys," I groaned grabbing my dress and following Alex into the studio.

"What's so wrong about guys?" Alex asked taking my dress from me.

"Nothing is wrong with guys. I just wish the girls would talk to me. It's like I'm a leper. I honestly can't wait for this act as your character thing to be over. If only people didn't have problems getting into character," I said walking into my dressing room. "Thank you for carrying my gown."

"You're quite welcome. I think become your character ends tomorrow. It will only get better from here. I won't guarantee you on that. But you always have us men to keep you company. I'll be seeing you in an hour. I bet you look beautiful in that gown."

"Nowhere near as handsome as you probably look. Anyway thank you for listening to me vent this morning."

I watched as Alex left my dressing room hanging the gown on his way out. His dressing room door closed and I could hear his music begin to play through the thin walls. I sighed and took the gown out of its garment bag and lay it on the couch. I walked out of the room and down the hall to hair and makeup. It's been the same routine everyday for as long as I can remember. Probably since I was three, to be honest acting is the only thing I know. That and well singing and having my heartbroken and breaking hearts. I really should have gone to college. I sat in the chair directly across from Alex so that I didn't have to look at anyone else.

"You look upset. More upset than you looked when I last saw you," Alex said raising my head.

"I was just thinking about how quickly my dad moved on after my mom died. It was like he was waiting for it to happen so he could be free from her. When she was diagnosed with cancer my dad moved out to LA just to get away from her and took me with him. I didn't have a choice if I wanted to stay with my mother or not. I'm sorry I'm treating if you like a psychiatrist."

"It's alright you were my psychiatrist on day one of filming so I forgive you. Let me take you for dinner tonight to get your mind off of it all that is if you don't have other plans."

"You know I may have to take you up on that offer and I don't think Kendall will mind. Plus it's not every day I get asked out to dinner. Can we possibly go see a Broadway show instead? My friend Nick is performing in a show here. I'm sure you heard of Nick Jonas well I kind of dated his older brother Joe for a few months."

"We could do that if that is what you'd prefer. It may just be more fun," Alex said helping me up from the chair so we could change for filming.

I walked into my dressing room and turned on the iHome I had sitting on my vanity. Eminem's "Won't Back Down" filled the little room. Sometimes the country girl has just got to break away from it all. I just like the song for Pink's chorus. Have to support the fellow Pennsylvanian.

"You can sound the alarm  
you can call out your guards  
you can fence in your yard  
you can pull all the cards  
But I won't back down  
Oh no I won't back down" I sang as I zipped up the gown and then changed the song as the rapping began. A new song sounded through the speakers and I waltzed through the room on my own to David Archuleta's "Desperate". I enjoyed the time alone before filming.

* * *

"I'm going to see a show with Alex. If any of you care," I said to Amy and Aly who were sitting on the couch with Carlos and James watching some old movie.

"I care," Kendall said walking from the kitchen area with popcorn and sodas. "Have fun beautiful. I love you."

"Love you too sexy pants," I said kissing Kendall on the cheek. "I promise we'll do something tomorrow."

I walked out into the hallway to meet Alex who was dressed in black suit pants, a white button up shirt and suit jacket. He definitely made me feel over dressed in my simple black dress with my hair still done from filming. We probably looked like we were going on a date and I'm sure the paparazzi will have loads of fun with the pictures they'll get of us.

"Shall we tell them we're dating?" I asked Alex as we stepped off the elevator. "I like causing controversy."

"I'd like to have some fun tonight. Let's do it," Alex responded looping his arm and mine before we walked out the door into the flashing cameras. "By the way you look stunning tonight."

"Oh thank you. You look amazing yourself. We look like a couple going out for their anniversary. Which we are." I said the last part louder for the photographers to here.

"I didn't think you were so bad?''

"I'm not bad. I'm just having fun. Bad and fun are two different things Alex. Two very different things. But I forgive you. I just want to see Nick. I haven't seen him since before Kevin got married."

"You know too many people."

I didn't understand how knowing too many people could be a bad thing. I thought it could help you along in life. But I can be wrong. Everyone is entitled to be wrong. Well not really everyone like doctors can't be wrong, because then someone will die. So maybe I was wrong again. Damn global terms. I watched as Alex maneuvered the car through the busy streets. My phone beeped with an incoming message and Alex pulled in front of the theater.

"Logan finally proposed." I shrieked hugging Alex in pure excitement. "I've been waiting forever for him to propose to Staci."

"Congratulations to them for getting engaged," Alex said awkwardly.

We arrived at the hotel late after grabbing something quick to eat. We said our goodbyes as I opened my door. Before I even opened the door I could hear the celebration of the engagement. I looked at Alex with a disgusted look on my face. Another night without sleep brings the total to thirteen. I walked into the room to see Stacie, Amy, Aly and the guys drinking champagne.

"You're not even at the legal drinking age," I sighed walking into my bedroom.

"For your information the legal age here is 18 so we are old enough," Logan shouted.

"I didn't even ask you," I screamed slamming the door. "I'd also like to get some sleep tonight so do me a huge favor and be quiet or leave if you can't be."

"You can sleep in my room if you want? I'm the only one in there." Kendall asked peering through my door. "I know they won't leave or be quiet."

"I'd like that." I said getting up of the bed to give him a kiss. "I'm thinking of having the production people change my room tomorrow. The drama is getting overbearing. And on top of that I'm not getting much sleep if at all any."

"You do look exhausted. Just stay in my room until you get everything all straightened out. I really don't want to say this but I haven't seen you look this way since your mom died. You almost look sick Arianna."

"You have no idea how much I love you right now Kendall. I just want to tell you, Alex and I told the paparazzi we're dating. I just thought a little rumor could help the movie."

**Please review with idea's I'm slowly running out of them.**


	25. Tears and Betrayal

**It's time for another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

"Good morning beautiful I have an amazing day planned for us," Kendall said lightly kissing my forehead. "Now go shower and get ready."

"Do I have to? Can't I sleep for another hour? I'm finally getting a decent amount of sleep and you ruin it on me," I groaned looking up into his eyes.

"Yeah, but I have a couples massage set up for us. I thought that would be a great way to help you relax. And after that I was going to take you for lunch and to do some shopping." Kendall said looking at me with the most adorable puppy dog eyes.

"I'll do it only because I love you with all my heart. Well I loved you with all my heart. Now I just think you're annoying," I sighed getting up and kissing him before walking into the bathroom.

I turned on the water and let it run getting it hot. In my mind I replayed everything Kendall had told me. He wasn't angry Alex and I told a white lie, because he had told his own. It was nice to know that I could trust him with anything. But do I think he and I will end up like Staci and Logan? The answer is a big fat no. There is a slight chance that we could end up together but I just don't think I can love him forever. I heard him on the phone with his brother talking about me making me feel guiltier about my thoughts. I erased my mind of all I had conjured up as the hot water beat on my back. Moments after I shut the water off I heard Kendall talking to James about Alyson. Ok so now all of my best girlfriends are dating someone from Big Time Rush. I'm not a huge fan of that idea. It's not like I need any more drama in my life. Maybe I'll move to Alaska to escape it all.

"Oh hey Arianna, I didn't know you were staying with Kendall now," James said when I emerged from the bathroom.

"Yeah I stayed with him last night. Is that a problem?"

"No it's not. Well maybe it is. What does the new boyfriend Alex think of it?" James asked.

"He's a friend. We only said it to boost the movie ratings," I seethed with so much anger after his remark.

"James, can we take this outside the room to let Arianna get ready for the day. She doesn't need anything else bothering her." Kendall said ushering James out of the room. "I knew she told the tabloids about her and Alex before it even happened. Just because you screwed things up with her and are trying to make her look like the bad person, I'm not breaking up with Arianna. I truly love her."

"She's a heartbreaker Kendall. Don't you know anything about her? I'm trying to protect you as a friend," James said raising his voice.

I slouched down on the floor and tears started to fall from my eyes. James was anything but wrong. I am a heartbreaker. For all I knew I was just leading Kendall on. But maybe I do have feelings for him. How the hell would I know? I'm only nineteen for Christ's sake. I don't even really know what love is. And from watching my parents over the years I haven't had a good influence.

Kendall walked through the door nearly tripping over me before he saw me sitting there. He knelt down next to me and placed his hands on my face lifting my head up to look at him.

"You heard all of that didn't you," he asked wiping the tears away. "I'm so sorry Arianna."

I looked at him and pulled him closer to me. Placing my head close to his chest, I cried harder. I could feel his hand rub up and down my back whispering soothing words. If I didn't love him before I loved him more than ever now.

"I think you're the only person who looks beautiful even when they're crying," Kendall said.

"Can you promise me to never let go, no matter what happens don't ever leave me. I don't think I can stand betrayal anymore," I said looking up into his eyes.

"I won't leave you Arianna. I know things are hard for you right now. But I won't leave you that I can promise."

"I'm tearing everyone apart aren't I? You just got in a huge fight with James. No one will talk to me. Gosh Kendall this just really sucks."

"Stop dwelling on it. Constantly thinking about it is only going to make things worse. Now let's get off this cold floor and get you into your new room."

"Can't I stay here with you?" I asked him once I got up from the floor.

"What if I stayed with you? You really don't want to stay in this tiny room do you? They have another suite set up for you."

I guess he was right. I would need a bigger room for my fitting for the premier and for photo shoots for movie posters. It will also give me more privacy. Not that I don't like being close to Kendall. It's just sometimes a girl needs her alone time. You can't be with other people twenty four seven. That would drive someone insane.

"It's got to be amazing to be you. This room is even bigger than your last one. But I think it's strange how you keep everything locked up inside. Doesn't that eat at you?" Kendall said when we moved up to the new room.

"I share it with you don't I. I have an image I have to keep up. People can't know I have some screwed up life. I've got to look normal Kendall. As soon as the find out my life is screwed up I'll become the next Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. I can't have that image," I explained.

"How about we head down to the spa so you can relax and unwind? Can you do that for me?"

"It's not like I have a choice do I. Either way you'd make me go. Even though I do not like strange people rubbing my body. Can't we just go for lunch and do some shopping?"

"Will I ever be able to please you? Just let me call Logan to tell him that he can use the massages and we can go grab something to eat and I'll take you shopping."

"You actually want to go shopping?"

"I'm a guy who likes new things. Do you have a problem with that Miss Walker?

"No I just didn't think you'd want to go shopping."

"Yes, but I will be with you. Plus we can go people watching while we are shopping."

"People watching in London is so much fun. You have no idea how many weird people walk the streets of London."

There were numerous of insanely dressed people walking through the streets. Not only that, but the hairstyles were something you would see in a wacky runway show. Then there were the tourists, who would just randomly stop to take a picture with me. After about ten pictures it really just started to get old, so shop workers ushered us out back doors and into alley ways. Trying to escape everything would work if it didn't follow me wherever I went.

"You really need to look into getting a body guard," Kendall said when we got back into the hotel town car.

"I know. It's just I don't want some big tough guy following me around constantly. I have three interviews for temporary body guards tomorrow," I sighed.

"Good I'd hate to see something awful happen to you because of some crazy fan."

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. Not only reviews but reviews and little suggestions as to what you want to see happen to Arianna. So If you want to be nice and help a writer out, review. Because everyone likes a nice person.**


	26. Snowflakes

**Gosh this took ages to write. I hope you enjoy it.**

I stood there in this hideous pine green dress waiting for Staci to emerge from the dressing room. It's been about two months since I returned from England and around a week before Thanksgiving. Staci and I were back home in Pennsylvania to share the holiday with family. She was still busy preparing for her Christmas Eve wedding and has yet to find a dress. I would like to kill the person who told her that this green dress would be perfect for a winter wedding. Couldn't she do red at least red is a pretty color to look at.

"That dress is ugly, Ari," Staci said when she walked out of the fitting room in a long mermaid fit gown. "The color is all wrong. God I have no idea what to do."

"Well you for one look gorgeous. But why don't we try red. When I think of Christmas I think of red," I suggested.

"Red will definitely work. But do you really like this dress? I think it's too clingy."

"I think it looks better than the princess dress you had on. But if you're worried about the cling try the a-line gown again that one looked amazing. Either way you looked gorgeous."

"Thanks Ari, why don't you look for a red bridesmaid's gown while I try on the other dress again?"

The way things are going I don't think Staci will ever find a wedding dress. I on the other hand will find the perfect bridesmaid dress, one that I could use again and not throw in the back of my closet after the wedding. A little red dress, which I can wear out to dinner with Kendall. That man has yet to take me out o a nice dinner. Not that it bothers me but still I would like to have a candle lit dinner with him. I think it would be very sweet. It would be even better if he would put a ring on my finger.

In the display room I saw the perfect red dress. Not only was it fitted at the top but the bottom was flowing until it stopped just above the knees. I could probably even wear it to the premier. I grabbed the dress of the rack and took it back to the fitting rooms to try on.

"I think I found one Stace. Tell me again why you didn't bring your sister with you?" I asked walking into the little dressing room.

"You think she could find the perfect bridesmaid dress and tell me if I look good or not. She may be my maid of honor but still she's 16 with no sense of fashion," Staci said after we both stepped out of the dressing rooms.

"It's perfect," we both squealed at the same time.

"That's a different dress isn't it?" I asked Staci as she twirled around in front of the mirror.

"Uh-Huh it's so pretty isn't it and that dress is amazing. I definitely like the red better, it's almost sexy."

"It's not that sexy," I said looking in the mirror at the strapless red dress. "Ok it is sexy. Can we use this one it's so pretty Stace?"

"It won't overshadow you dear," the sales woman said to Staci. "All eyes will be on you on your wedding day."

"I'm going to the cemetery and then to King of Prussia for something to wear in the Macy's parade," I said when Staci and I left the bridal shop. "Do you want to come with me? I'll buy you something."

"You don't need to bribe me Ari. I'd love to go shopping; I need a new Coach bag anyway and possibly something to wear to the family dinner tomorrow night. Plus that way I'll be near the airport to pick up Logan."

"I almost forgot he's coming to the family dinner. Dawn is going to be so pissed off."

"Like I care and remind me to thank your asshole of a father for letting Logan and I buy his house," Stacie said. My dad sold his house that neighbored mine when I came back from London. I was so happy when I discovered Logan and Staci had bought it so that it stays in the family. It was one of my mom's first drawings that inspired that home.

"Thank you for agreeing with me. I'll never forgive him for the nonsense he pulled. I'm not even going to his wedding."

"Now that's a little harsh. He is your father Ari. I know what he did is unforgivable but you shouldn't completely shut him out of your life. Who's going to walk you down the aisle at your own wedding?"

"Carlos," I said nonchalantly starting the rental car "And Philip. Because Carlos is like a brother to me and Philip well he is my brother."

"You say that like it doesn't bother you at all?"

"To be honest with you it doesn't bother me. I'm nineteen years old I don't need to depend on my father anymore. I can disown him if I want to."

Just as I drove past the winding road leading to my childhood home Miranda Lambert's voice echoed through the car. "I know they say you can't go home again. I just had to come back one last time. Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam. But these handprints on the front steps are mine. And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar. And I bet you didn't know under that live oak my favorite dog is buried in the yard." I felt a tear roll down my cheek thinking about my mom sitting in her office drafting her ideas for beautiful houses. The song continued to play applying more and more to that large farm house nestled on top of the hill.

"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it  
this brokenness inside me might start healing.  
Out here it's like I'm someone else,  
I thought that maybe I could find myself  
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.  
Won't take nothing but a memory  
from the house that built me.

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.  
From Better Homes and Garden magazines.  
Plans were drawn; concrete poured,  
and nail by nail and board by board  
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it  
this brokenness inside me might start healing.  
Out here it's like I'm someone else,  
I thought that maybe I could find myself.  
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.  
Won't take nothing but a memory  
from the house that built me.

You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.  
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it  
this brokenness inside me might start healing.  
Out here it's like I'm someone else,  
I thought that maybe I could find myself.  
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.  
Won't take nothing but a memory  
from the house that built me."

I felt myself being the person talking to that woman about the house she grew up in. The back bedroom wasn't so little but it was where I learned to play my first guitar. My mother spent years looking at houses trying to build the perfect one for her family. When my father loved her he helped her build that house. My dog wasn't buried under a tree instead she was buried in the pasture where she used to run around in chasing the horses. I was even starting to forget who I am. I'm not the girl I was a little under a year ago when I started guest staring on Big Time Rush. The girl then was full of life, always happy and full of dreams. The girl now is cold and broken hearted not knowing what she wants.

"Probably not the best song to have playing when you're driving by your childhood home," Staci said handing me a tissue from her purse.

"You're right. I'm still not over everything. So much happened to me in those few weeks; my mom died, I broke up with James, my dad sold that house, and I started dating Kendall. I never had time to let it all sink in," I sighed wiping the tears away. "To this day I regret breaking James's heart."

"Then talk to him about it. Maybe it will make you both feel better."

"Yeah but I'm sick of hurting people and I think someone will get hurt from this whether it be James, Kendall, or myself."

"Screw Kendall half the time you don't know where he is or what he's doing ever since you got back from London. He puts on a show when he's with all of us and then he's just a different person. He's too worried about becoming famous. You're the only honest one in that relationship Ari. I hate seeing you miserable about it."

"I'd rather not talk about that right now."

"I think you should talk about it. At least get all that weight of your shoulders. You may feel better after you talk to the two of them. I'm just really worried about you Arianna. I want my old best friend back."

I have to agree with Staci I want that old cheerful girl back. I don't know what happened to her. It's almost like she decided she didn't want to be in this body any longer and just up and left. Everything went downhill after I returned from London. Kendall and I started to see each other less even though I was still working on Big Time Rush. I found myself eating lunch with Carlos and Logan than with Kendall. The sad thing is I really want to be with Kendall.

A light snow began to fall as I rounded the turn at the cemetery. The bouquet of white roses in the backseat matched the flakes falling around Staci and me. Everything in that little cemetery felt more peaceful with the falling snow. I reached into the backseat to retrieve the flowers then opened the door and stepped out into the snow. A snowflake landed on my nose as I walked toward the tombstone.

"Mom I miss you more than anything right now. I'm so miserable that it's indescribable. Dad is getting married in three months to some model chick. Staci and Logan are getting married on Christmas Eve. And as for me. Well mom I'm confused. Everyone is telling me to break things off with Kendall when I can really see myself being happy with him. On the other hand I desperately miss being with James. He always knew how to make me smile. I'm at the time where I really need my mother to talk to," I said as a tear fell from my eye.

"I brought you your favorite roses. They match the snow perfectly mom. I just miss you so much and I love you more than anything," I said as a breeze gently blew past my face.

I stepped away from the tombstone placing the roses as I walked away and back into the car to join Staci.

**Does Arianna break up with kendall and go back to James? Does she break up with him to be single? Or do the two stay together. My brain has multiple versions conjured up.**


	27. She Used To

**It is finally done. Not the story silly, this chapter.**

Staci spun my hair around the curling iron she was holding. I had less than two hours to get ready to perform in the Macy's parade with the guys. Just long enough for Staci to finish my hair. From the window I could see the hundreds of people lining the streets of New York. It was crazy to think they would stand out in the cold for a parade. Just as Staci was setting the last curl for the bottom layer of my hair there was a knock at the door.

"Don't you dare come in I'm not even pretty yet," I shouted as Staci opened the door.

"Please I've seen you much worse. You are too pretty right now," Carlos said walking toward the window with James trailing behind.

"Where are the other guys?" Staci asked pulling down a thin layer of hair.

"Still getting ready kind of like you are," James said sitting on the floor across from Carlos.

"Kind of?" Staci said shooting James the death glare. "Just because Arianna is female doesn't make her much different than you. She just needs more attention to make her turn from amazing to drop dead gorgeous."

"Aw thank you Staci," I said giving the girl a hug. "No wonder why Logan loves you with his entire heart. Because you're like the best cousin in the world."

I started humming "Winter Wonderland" as Staci set another curl. James and Carlos were singing "Let It Snow". It was like we would forget the words to holiday songs we've been singing since we were three. I closed my eyes as Staci sprayed my hair with hairspray to hold the curls. I listened to the boys singing in the corner and concentrated on determining when I was to sing for the performance. Just as Carlos finished singing the last part of the song the door opened.

"There's my beautiful big sister Arianna," Philip said walking into the room with a handsome dark haired boy. "This is my boyfriend Ben. I really wanted to introduce you to him."

"It's nice to finally meet you Ben. Phil has told me so much about you over the phone. I'm happy for the two of you," I said getting up from the chair to shake the boy's hand.

"That is Staci my cousin, Carlos, and James my sisters coworkers on Big Time Rush. That show my son of a bitch dad works on," Philip said pointing out the rest of the people in the room. "And they are Kendall and Logan who is marrying Staci Christmas Eve."

"I hope you can make it, Ben. I've already told Phil he can bring you to the wedding," Staci said as Logan wrapped his arms around her.

I didn't catch the rest of the conversation going on in the group I just kept my eyes on Kendall. He was preoccupied with the snow falling and his cell phone. It was like I wasn't in the room at all. Staci and Logan looked like nothing could tear them apart as well as Ben and Phil. Carlos shot me a quick smile and motioned me to join him out in the hall way.

"What's going on between you and Kendall?" he asked after the door was closed.

"I've been wondering the same exact thing. It's as if I'm invisible to him, like he can see right through me. I don't think I matter much to him anymore. He doesn't even answer when I call him, Carlos," I sighed.

"I wish I could tell you that he was telling the truth about everything, but I can't lie to you Arianna. You're like a little sister to me. We all hate seeing you like this. For the exception of Kendall, who enjoys running you around in circles? You should really take him to Tool Academy. But I don't think they'll take celebrities. Maybe they'll take him when they see how big of an asshole he is."

"Or maybe we'll take a break. Publically humiliating him will just not work. He'd probably like all the attention. God I'm being so vicious right now. I don't like being mean and I really don't want to take a break from Kendall but that's all I really can do. Can we just go sing little kid holiday songs now?"

"You still have feelings for James don't you? That's why you fought for songs that had no religious base? You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. That's why you hated seeing him with Aly in England? You still deep down in your heart love James?"

"You would have done the same thing for him. I know you would, you care for James just as much as I do," I sighed defending myself. "I believe we should all get ready to go find our float."

I walked down the hallway and to the elevator to join everyone else who was in the room. Philip wrapped his arm around my shoulder. My brother could read me like a book better than anyone else. I knew he could tell something was bothering me. I leaned closer into the only immediate family I had left or hadn't disowned. There was something about being around my little brother that could make even the worst situation ten times better. I watched Kendall who was more interested texting whoever he was on his phone. I felt Staci's hand grasp mine and she gave me a weak smile. I guess they were throwing a pity party and forgot to tell the guest of honor.

* * *

"Big Time Rush, Arianna Walker you're on the third float," a woman said to us.

"The name is Arianna like Air-ianna not Are-ianna. Thanks," I explained. How hard was my name to pronounce? She should have heard it over a million times in the past week.

"Let me help you up Are-ianna," Carlos said reaching his hand down to help me up the ladder.

"You're such a dick," I said swatting Carlos's hand away and climbing up the ladder onto the float. "You wouldn't appreciate someone pronouncing your name incorrectly?"

"She's right Carlos, you get angry when people pronounce your name wrong," James teased.

"I need to talk to you later," I said to Kendall after I walked by. "Meaning, I really need to talk to you, so don't blow it off."

I hated playing the bitch, but if that's what I needed to do to talk to my so called boyfriend, then what the hell I'll be the bitch. I could tell took him off guard demanding to speak to him after the parade. I took everyone off guard talking to Kendall like that. The queen bitch was back and here to stay temporarily, until she needed to go back into hiding.

* * *

"What the hell is your problem," Kendall confronted me after I stepped down from the float.

"I'd like to ask you the same question. You're the one who's been avoiding me and acting like you don't even know me. Last I recall you were my boyfriend," I shouted as Carlos tried pulling me away. "This is the first time I've spoken to you in days. What happened to the old us?"

"They're still in London." Kendall snapped back. "I heard they're happy together sharing the suite spending days off walking the streets together."

"I don't think SHE is all that happy," I snarled. "SHE used to be very happy with him. She used to love him. But he's a stranger now. Someone told me she doesn't like it that way but thinks it may be better if they go their separate ways and pretend none of this ever happened."

"I think she needs to calm down," Carlos whispered in my ear. "You're attracting all the wrong kinds of attention to the both of you."

"Well HE agrees with that. Maybe HE should have left her alone on the floor crying," Kendall spat before walking away.

"Well that was uncalled for. But it felt good," I sighed smiling at everyone around me like nothing had happened. "Now to call Alex to have him meet me for dinner to talk about tomorrow's movie promotion activities. You all are welcome to join us."

Oh yes the Queen Bitch is definitely back. I haven't had to play the bitch since homecoming my senior year. Of course then I was defending my baby brother after he had come out of the closet and trying to win the crown. In all you don't want to be on this Pennsylvanian's bad side. Because, well she can destroy you faster than you realize what is going on.

**Yes I know this chapter was sweet and harsh. But Arianna and Kendall can't be together or it ruins my whole train of thought to end this little story. I also wanted to unleash my nasty side in this chapter, Arianna has been too sweet. Do me a favor and review. It will really make me happy and could possibly end this little nasty streak. **


	28. I'll Stay

**Gosh this took forever to write. I've been so busy with school and keeping my grades at perfection. Updates will be slow now I have a night class which doesn't give me much time to write and I've been tossing around ideas for another story in my head. I really hope you enjoy reading this chapter and be sure to get the BTR CD, the songs are great. Enough of my advertisement, I would like to remind you that the only things belonging to me are Arianna, Staci, Philip, and Ben.**

"There's the beautiful Arianna Walker," Alex said when we met at the restaurant. "I thought you were bringing guests?"

"That's what I thought also, but I broke up with Kendall earlier today so everyone is pretty much angry with me. My brother and his boyfriend will be joining us later. They have something going on at the theatre," I sighed sitting across from Alex.

"From my understanding we're doing Good Morning America and then finishing our day off with the View?"

"You are correct. Monday we have Regis and Kelly and then on Tuesday we're meeting with the hilarious Ellen DeGeneres. We're giving away premier tickets on her show. We'll be busy bunnies."

"What happened between you and Kendall?" Alex asked when our food arrived at the table.

"Well when we got back from England we started drifting apart. He didn't answer any of my phone calls, he starting telling lie upon lie; I wasn't having it much longer."

"You do look much happier now. It's like you have this weight lifted of your shoulders. I'm not trying to be mean Ari. It's just you look much better now."

"Thanks. Let's go take on New York. I want to have some fun. There's no strings attached tonight so let's have some fun," I said getting up from the table.

What single person wouldn't want to have fun in New York City with her cast mate? It was all going well until everyone else showed up showing the bouncer fake ID's. As if fake ID's matter when you're young and famous and the club is looking for publicity. I watched as Kendall stood in the corner talking to the random girls who walked by. Staci and Logan hung out by the bar with Carlos and James. I stood up in the VIP section, watching it unwind. About forty five minutes after entering the club Carlos and James left, obviously bored with the people in the club. Shortly after Staci and Logan exited the club. Kendall on the other hand remained in the corner talking to some blond. I wanted to vomit after he started talking in her ear.

"Do you want to leave," Alex asked walking behind me and looking down at Kendall. "I have a feeling you don't want to watch that all night long."

"What I don't get is how they knew this was the club we were at. And how can he do that in front of me. Is it because I'm not blond enough, or pretty enough. Look he's already getting her number. Let's get out of here," I sighed. "I need to be up early tomorrow anyway. We both do."

"Yes, it is going to be a long day tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it," Alex said leading me down the spiral staircase of the club.

"It won't be near as bad as my day. The break up has already been publicized. It's the most unflattering picture ever," I sighed reading the message I received from Staci.

"You don't look that bad, just very angry. I can tell you one thing I never want to be on your bad side. Kendall looks like an asshole and I don't want to be an asshole."

"Please you be an asshole? Nah you're more like a brother. An overly annoying brother."

"I can settle with overly annoying brother. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Do you want me to pick you up a coffee or something?" Alex asked stopping outside the door to his room.

"No thank you. I actually gave up caffeine a while back. But it was so sweet of you to ask. I'll see you tomorrow morning. You should get some sleep." I said hugging the boy in front of me and walking down the hall to my door.

I entered the hotel room and looked at the alarm clock glaring at me reading 12:38. Thirteen stories below cars raced on the street. Even past midnight people in New York had places to be and people to see. It's probably why they call it the city that never sleeps. I changed into my bed clothes and lay down on the bed furthest from the window. I could hear that James and Carlos were just coming in from a late night out. They were talking about who talked to the hottest girl. Neither one wanted the other to win. I laughed at the two then rolled over and fell asleep.

* * *

"Good-bye, we'll see you Monday night. Be safe." I said as the guys left the hotel to fly back to L.A.

"Remember you're meeting with the wedding planner today, Logan," Stacie said. "I love you and try to stay out of trouble. As to you Kendall if you get him into trouble you are dead to me."

"I'm sorry about everything yesterday," I said to Kendall once we were alone. "I just couldn't' stand being treated that way. We drifted apart so fast and I didn't want to accept it. I'm sorry for making you look like an idiot."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. It took me off guard when you confronted me like that. I feel terrible that things ended this way. I'm hoping we can still be friends?" Kendall said pulling me into a hug.

Why did Kendall have to smell so amazing and be so incredibly sweet? I'm supposed to be mad at him not wanting to kiss him. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind looked up into his blue eyes and said "I forgive you if you promise to get rid of that girls number you got last night. She's probably really ugly during the day."

"She wrote it down on a piece of paper that I threw away when I got back last night. I was just being nice and it felt good getting the attention. I should really get going."

"It's good to see you two have kissed and made up but our flight leaves in two hours and we will leave with or without you," Carlos said after he hugged me goodbye. "You were great on GMA this morning, Ari. Even better on the View you took everything they threw at you. You're probably the bravest person I know."

"Thank you Carlos but not only will they leave without Kendall, but they'll leave without you too," I said ushering them off.

"I'm really going to miss Logan," Staci sighed watching the man she loved leave to go home.

"Go with him then. I'll be fine in New York by myself. I won't exactly be alone I can always visit Philip and Ben or go out with Alex. Go with him, you'll have more fun planning your wedding."

"Take my ticket and I'll stay here with Arianna," James said running back to grab a bag he left by the elevator. "I overheard that you wanted to go back to LA with them so take my ticket. I really don't mind spending a few more days here."

I looked at James dumbfounded. If any of them would have stayed behind with me it would have been Carlos. He's been a little overprotective of me since I returned from London. I thought James still hated me for breaking his hear the way I did and then finding comfort in his costars arms. He lay there in the bed across from mine sleeping. If anyone were to be tired it should have been me. I didn't sleep well the night before and I needed to be on set for GMA at four thirty for hair and make-up. All James did was go and watch with the guys and Staci. He wasn't interrogated by several different people trying to pry into your messed up life. But he did look adorable napping on the bed next to me.

"Oh you're awake. You scared me half to death," I said walking out of the bathroom to see James sitting on the bed flipping through television channels.

"Sorry, my dad called and woke me up. I forgot to call and tell him I wasn't flying back today," James said.

"I'm going to dinner with Philip and Ben in an hour and then we're going to a club, you're welcome to join us if you have nothing else going on."

"I don't get it. How can you act like nothing ever happened between us?" James said getting up from the bed.

"Because I've been doing it forever. Something happens and I forget about it and just keep leaving. People can't know how messed up my life is. I wouldn't be where I am now if people knew my background story," I said as a tear fell from my eye.

"I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry, Ari," James said.

"No it's fine. I really need to cry after everything. I can't always hold my head up high. Why don't you go shower and get ready for the night? I really need to get dressed for dinner and call Philip."

**Thanks for reading. Now if you wouldn't mind please do me a humongous favor and review this story for me. It would really make my day and I really need something to brighten my day.**


	29. Brave

**I've actually written another version of this chapter before scraping it and starting over. I'm happy with how this one turned out. You finally get a little bit of Arianna's background. That and her and James are almost back together. Do read and review.**

I got out of the car one last time at the cemetery before flying back home. I heard the other door close and seconds later James's gloved hand clasped mine. It was comforting having him there with me to replace my mother's roses.

"Thank you for coming with me," I said stopping James in his tracks and facing the tall boy.

"You would have done the same kind of thing for me and I really would have loved to meet your mother. I'm sure she was just as beautiful and brave as you are," James said squeezing my hand tighter.

"She was the bravest woman I knew growing up. She raised two kids while battling cancer and watched her husband leave with both kids once her cancer came back. My mother was more than brave," I sighed sweeping the snow off the tomb stone.

"You must have gotten that from her, you're the bravest person I know."

"Thank you James, that's really sweet," I said hugging the boy. "My mom would have loved you. She really would have. I'm so sorry for everything James. For breaking your heart, cutting your hand, and having you watch Kendall and me hanging all over each other."

"Well for one, I cut my own hand. You had nothing to do with that at all. I was the incredibly stupid one who thought I was in love."

"I considered going back outside that night to talk to you. I was just so angry with you and myself that I couldn't do it," I said as I started up the car to drive to the airport.

I pressed play on my iPod and silent music filled the car. From the corner of my eye I could see James removing his gloves. Just as I had done in the past I drove out of the cemetery. Only today it was not snowing nor was Staci sitting in the seat next to me. James started to softly hum along to the music. Thoughts began running though my mind about everything that had happened between James and me.

"Do you like my new toy?" I asked James pointing to the small airplane. "I thought I would buy something nice for myself for having the number one movie in Europe."

"You're freaking crazy, Arianna. You bought an airplane?" James said.

"Well yeah. I'm thinking of getting a boat if the movie does well here. You know one of those fancy yacht things. I think it would be fun for all of us to go out sailing Friday nights."

"Who are you and what have you done to the Arianna I know," James asked playfully shoving me into a snow pile.

"Are you really sure you wanted to push me into the snow," I said grabbing James hands and pulling him into the pile with me. "Because you had to have known you'd be down here with me. I can play dirty too. I just don't know if I want to take you back with me."

"Now that is the Arianna I know. The fun, playful, beautiful Arianna I know," James said helping me up from the pile. "You know my brother's name is Philip also."

"Changing the subject now are we," I said stopping just inside the door to the jet. "I've never met your family though. I hope they're nowhere near as mean as you are, shoving people into snow."

"If the two of you are going to kiss, please just do it now so we can all get to LA," Ben said.

"Yes please just get on this airplane. I'm sick and tired of waiting for you two to finish fooling around. If it wasn't your plane Arianna I would have just told the pilot to leave," Philip sighed opening his new script.

"Were you going to kiss me because well I wasn't going to kiss you," I said looking at James.

"I wasn't planning on it. Unless you wanted me to kiss you then I will," James said.

"I only want you to kiss me if you mean it. If you can forget all that bull that happened between us, if you truly forgive me for being so awful, and if you're not doing it just to please my brother and his boyfriend," I explained

That's when James wrapped his arms around me and placed his lips on mine. It was a feeling I've been longing to feel for months to be embraced by James. The kiss meant nothing compared to his loving touch. It was something Kendall could ever make me feel, no offense to him. But I actually felt safe, like nothing not even my own emotions could hurt me. I could feel Philip and Ben's eyes burning my back just itching to get to California. I stepped back from James's embrace to allow him onto the plane.

"I meant that," James said as he walked by to his seat.

I told the pilot we were ready to leave and sat toward the front of my new impulse purchase. Was I competing against my father, most likely? After all the man did screw over his family and that is something worth never forgiving. Like Philip had done I started paging through a script. It's the story of my life, a screwed up family and a different script every week. An hour after reading line after line James moved to sit next to me.

"I didn't upset you with that kiss did I? We all know the last time I kissed you a war nearly started." He questioned.

"Of course not, James. I wanted you to kiss me. I thought you were going to when you pushed me into the snow pile. Can we just keep this on the down low for a while? I don't want to upset anyone over this. Trust me I do want to be with you again," I sighed looking into his eyes. I could tell I upset James by asking him to keep it on the down low.

"If that's what you want," James said.

"There's something bothering you? Isn't there?" I questioned him.

"No everything is fine," he murmured. "I'm lying. How can you act like nothing has ever happened to you? No one knows your true story Arianna. It concerns me that you want to hide everything, even being with me"

"Like I've told everyone before, if people knew how screwed up my life is, I wouldn't be where I am right now. No I'm no Lindsay or Paris or Miley but my mother died this year James. She died a week before my nineteenth birthday. I'm never going to have my mother there to help me pick out a wedding dress, to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be ok. I'm sure you didn't know that she had cancer twice, the first time they didn't remove the entire tumor. She was pregnant with what should have been another little brother for me to look after, when they discovered the first tumor. I was twelve, sixteen when it came back. Sixteen when my dad took me from my mother to start filming that terrible movie that skyrocketed its way to number one in Europe. When I was sixteen all I wanted was to just stay with my mother and learn everything I could from her. What it was like being a model in Paris, breaking away from the industry to do her own thing. There's so much I wanted to learn about her. Even though I was away she drafted my beautiful home from me. It was the last home she ever designed I still can't find the brick she etched with my name," I said trying my hardest not to cry.

"Arianna your story is inspiring. I'm sure if your fans new you'd probably be helping hundreds of teenage girls through the problems you faced," James said and to my surprise embraced me again. "I'm glad I know you, the bravest strongest young woman in the world. Thank you for sharing that with me it helps me understand where you're coming from. You will be an inspiration to people. You're an inspiration to me, to that little girl who wanted your autograph yesterday. Just think of the hearts you can touch with your story."

"I just can't, not now anyway. I can't expose myself like that."

**I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Please review and tell me what you think. **


	30. Super Magnet

**Finally another chapter, it only needed about three rewrites until I decided it's ok enough to post. Please read and review. I should probably remind you that this is just a story and that I do not own BTR.**

I walked over to Staci and Logan's house to get her for the bridal shower. Behind the two mansions horses grazed in fields. James walked out of the barn leading one of the horses a paddock after he finished riding. I lightly tapped on the door to what used to be my father's home. It felt like eternity but moments later Logan came to the doorway.

"Is Staci ready for the shower, I'm supposed to have her there in twenty minutes," I asked.

"She went to the doctor about an hour ago and should be home soon. The past few days Staci hasn't been feeling well. She thinks she has the flu," Logan said. "You're welcome to wait here for her. I'm unpacking a few of our boxes."

"Everything really looks beautiful. The two of you have done a wonderful job with the house. You've made it your own but left plenty of it the way my mother would have liked. It's very homey."

"That's all Staci's doing. She's been slaving over this place for weeks trying to make it look perfect."

"I have not been slaving over this house. I just want it to be perfect for us," Staci said giving Logan a kiss on the cheek.

"Well Staci, are you ready to go? Everyone is waiting on the bride to be," I said.

Staci and I left the house and drove toward the restaurant where her sister and Amy were throwing the Bridal shower. From outside you could see the chairs decorated with red and gold ribbons with roses sitting on the tables. Family and friends of both Staci and Logan sat around the decorated tables. They were all waiting for Staci to arrive to wish her luck and tell her she is going to be a lovely bride.

"Ari, can I tell you something? Something that you promise to never tell anyone," Staci asked.

"You know you can trust me Stace. I trusted you when I told you James and I are back together last week," I told her.

"I'm afraid to get married. What if something goes wrong? I'm so scared of looking like an idiot or that Logan will stop loving me."

"If Logan stopped loving you the world just might end. The two of you are perfect for each other. Staci the way he looks at you is like you're the only thing that matters to him. Trust me when I say this Logan loves you more than anything. There is no need to worry. You should probably get inside, I can tell everyone is excited to see you," I said hugging the dark haired girl in front of me. "Logan will never leave you."

Multiple gifts of Staci's were piled into the backseat of my car to help her bring them back to her house. From the looks of it something could topple over during my drive. I waited for Staci and her mother to pull out to follow them home. It was peaceful driving alone with just the radio for noise. I can't remember the last time I was truly alone. I enjoyed the time I had until I arrived at the two houses away from all the others.

"You look exhausted," Logan said helping us carry boxes and bags into the house.

"I feel like I was just hit by a truck. The flu medication is probably kicking in," Staci said laying flat on the couch.

"I'll get you a glass of water once we finish carrying everything inside. And Arianna, James wanted me to tell you to call him when you get the chance," Logan said as he walked out the door to get the last few boxes.

"I told you, you're his whole world," I said to Staci before leaving.

I walked toward the stable with the intention of calling James while warming up Misty for her training. What I didn't expect was to see Misty standing in the isle looking at me. Behind the massive chestnut brown horse I saw yet another being led out of its stall. James appeared leading who appeared to be Storm and hooked him up behind Misty.

"I was going to call you while I was warming up Misty. I swear on my life that I was going to," I said following James back into the tack room.

"I believe you. I saw you pull in when I was about to leave and thought I would save you some work and get Storm and Misty ready for you," James said pulling down Storms saddle and bridle.

"Well then who do you prefer riding? Both need a refresher session before I can even begin getting them ready for showing season."

"I guess I could take your monster, since Misty needs more work. But I'm going to need a refresher session too," James said slinging the saddle over Storms back.

"That's fine the jumps are still low from my mornings lesson with Lisa, she's just learning how to jump as well. It's not as hard as it looks and I'm sure Storm will be easy on you he's getting up there in age. Lisa's going to show him. He's starting to become a lot calmer around people."

"That's good to know seeing as how in about half an hour I'll be riding him over hurdles that are a foot high."

"Who said anything about them only being a foot high? Both Storm and Misty can walk over jumps set up that high. You can take out Storm to start warming him up. I'm going to turn on the radio and I'll be out with Misty."

I didn't need to be looking at James to know he rolled his beautiful eyes at me. A playful rolling of his eyes that made me want to skip turning on the radio and even riding all together to just kiss him. He knows just how to get to me in that annoyingly adorable way of his. Like a baby it's annoying and loud when it cries but once, the infant smiles, it's the most adorable thing you've ever seen. I was drawn to James like a magnet. One of those strong super magnets, that are used in science labs or in junk yards to salvage metal scraps. I watched as James rode Storm around the outdoor arena. There was something about it that made me stop and watch for a few moments until I felt Misty's warm breath on my neck.

"You look terrified. He's going to feed off of that, just relax," I said leading Misty through the gate.

"This horse almost killed you. That's why I'm so terrified."

"It was my mistake that almost killed me not Storm. You don't need to take him over the jumps if you don't want to. I'm not going to make you do something you don't feel comfortable doing," I said to James who seemed to relax.

"Logan invited us for dinner. He and Staci are having a small pizza party. Amy, Carlos and Kendall are going. I forgot to tell you earlier."

"We can go. I was just going to wrap gifts all night and a small party sounds fun," I said circling Misty to reverse directions. "I just need fifteen more minutes with Misty and then we can go freshen up for the party. That is if you want to go, unless you would prefer to sit at the fireplace and watch a movie."

"Either way I'd be with you. So in all honesty it doesn't matter what we do."

"You're so complicated James. I'm pretty sure they may have canceled tonight's festivities, Staci has the flu. It would be in our best interest to sit around the fireplace and watch movies. "

**I hope you enjoyed it. A review would certainly make me very happy.**


	31. Enchanted

**It's been ages since my last update. This one is short and sweet so that I could update with something. Enjoy**

"Don't leave me," I said feeling something moving next to me.

"Like I would drive home at two in the morning just to sleep, I was just going to get another blanket and make sure the fire is out. I promise you that I was going to come back," James said stumbling over the coffee table.

"Oh God, we have to get to the airport soon. The flight leaves at eight," I sighed.

"Relax; we don't need to be there until six. Sleep a little bit longer. You have been worried about this wedding since we left the barn. You're not the one getting married, Arianna."

"I just want everything to be perfect for Stacie. She's getting married in three days. It needs to be perfect for her."

"Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up before I leave to pack. You're stuck with me."

"I wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else well maybe nah never mind I don't feel like arguing tonight," I sighed drifting back to sleep.

* * *

From across the hallway of her parent's house I heard Staci shriek. Apparently the hairdresser burnt her neck with the curling iron, since she started cursing his name after she screamed. Her wedding day had finally arrived and with everything else she thought was going wrong Staci did not need to be burned. I looked around the sea of red to see if anyone was going to budge to check on the bride. I made eye contact with Amy who walked toward the door to check on bridezilla. I waited a few moments before walking across the hall as well.

"Your piece of shit hairstylist burnt me," Staci scream when I walked into the room.

"Let me set this straight, he is not my stylist. You hired him for the day because you liked what he did with Amy's hair for the premier. He works for neither Amy or I so do not go blaming either of us. If you want your day to be so perfect then try to lighten up Staci. You've been miserable ever since you've gotten out of bed this morning. I'd continue ranting but I want this day to be just as perfect as you want it to be," I shouted and then walked out the room to rehearse songs for the wedding.

"Arianna has a point. You've been queen bitch since you woke up. The burn is on the back of your neck wear some of your hair down and it will hide it. Do us all a favor and put a smile on your face and stop being so uptight about everything. In three hours you'll be married to Logan who loves you more than anything in the world, that should make you smile," Amy got in before exiting the room to help others get ready. "If it wasn't her wedding day I would have slapped her," she said to me as we walked down the stairs.

Amy and I walked out the door and across the street to the church. From outside we could hear the boys laughing. At least someone was having a good time. Amy then said something to me about not wanting to ruin their fun but it had to be done sooner or later.

"Hey losers, we could hear you laughing all the way out on the street," I said.

"We were just seeing who can sing like Taylor Swift the best. All while practicing at the same time," Carlos exclaimed. "Does Stacy seriously want us to sing a chick song?"

"I wouldn't dare tell her that. Staci is on the war path, she just screamed and Arianna and me," Amy sighed taking a seat next to Kendall. "To be honest I wish it was 5 o'clock and this whole wedding was over and all we had left to do was celebrate it."

"Let's just practice the song so Queen Staci's wedding day is perfect," I said pressing play on the CD player. Seconds later "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift echoed through the church.

Halfway through the second run-through of the song, guests started filing into the church. It was not long until the bridal party began walking down the rose petal lined aisle. Guests gasped as Staci entered in her white gown. The most surprised of them all was Logan. His cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson when he smiled at her. I watched as the two said their "I dos" and have their first kiss as husband and wife. Numerous guests shed tears of happiness as the newlywed couple walked down the aisle. The wedding party followed and we began to sing.

"There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles  
Same old, tired place lonely place  
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy  
Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" across the room, your silhouette  
Starts to make its way to me  
The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks  
Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you  
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up, 2 a.m., who do you love?  
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake  
Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door  
I'd open up and you would say

It was enchanting to meet you  
All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page, not where the storyline ends  
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again  
These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon  
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you  
Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go  
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone  
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew  
I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you" 

Staci and Logan's wedding day was one that wouldn't be forgotten. Not only did Staci and Logan get married but Carlos and Amy officially became an item. As for myself nothing changed that day, despite the fact that Amy is going to take Staci's place at my home in California. I'm not comfortable living in such a large house by myself or with having James move in with me.

* * *

"I'm going to do some shopping before we leave for Jamaica tomorrow. It's funny how we're vacationing while the two love birds are on their honeymoon," Amy said. "Did you want to come along?"

"I could really get away from all of this family drama and I love the guys but I need to get away from them too. They're like lost puppies," I answered. "Plus it's not just vacation, we start filming three days after we arrive there."

"It's great that we get to work on films together, especially since I'm starting to learn this whole acting thing. I guess it's just luck."

"It's not luck; we're both just extremely talented. You don't get roles out of luck, you get them because of talent. Now to sneak out of here without the guys noticing. That is something which does not come easily."

**Please review! I need some inspiration.**


	32. True Love

**Long time no update. Well here it is.**

I sat on the balcony of the suite I shared with Amy. The smell of salt water hung in the air and birds sang their sweet songs. Occasionally a staff member, walking around the pool, would pick up empty glasses that surrounded lounge chairs. I clutched tightly to my phone and watched the waves crash to shore. A storm was coming and filming was cut short due to the wind. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and saw James' name lighting up the screen. I smiled before answering the phone.

"Hey lover boy, I miss you so much," I said. "How's everything back home?"

"I love how you assume that I don't miss you as much as you miss me," James teased. "Everything is great here although we all miss you and Amy. On the other hand, the vet said we should have a foal any day now. I know you were looking forward to having a baby horse running in the pastures."

"It still bums me out that I won't be home for the birth. The weather hasn't been cooperating with us and filming keeps getting pushed back."

I walked across the balcony to get a better view of the ocean. I could see that smaller ships were trying to make it to dock before the storm hit and left them stranded.

"This one song reminded me of you yesterday. It came on the radio on my drive home," James said bringing my attention back to him.

"Do you remember what it was?" I asked him before walking back inside to hide from the rain.

"I'm pretty sure it was that new song by Sugarland not that glue one though. I don't know the name of it."

"You're a load of help James. I'm not updated on news like that down here."

"I didn't think I needed to remember what it was. To be honest I wasn't paying much attention to it because of the traffic."

"You know I was just joking with you. I don't care that you remember what it was. I'm just glad that you called me, because I really miss you," I sighed sinking into the couch. "I should be home next week if it doesn't keep raining. The sad thing is we only have two more scenes to film but they need to be done outdoors."

"That must really get annoying, knowing that you can't get anything done. I understand why they don't want to be filming during a storm though."

"I know. I just want to be home. To be honest I'm getting homesick. Sadly I need to go, the cast is eating dinner together tonight for the directors birthday. Love you," I said.

"I love you too. I'll see you next week," James said before we both hung up.

I exited the boarding gate with Amy to enough flashes to cause a seizure to anyone. The ace bandage wrapped tightly around my ankle was sure to make headlines. Amy squeezed through two photographers that were pushed aside by her bodyguard. I followed closely behind hearing voices shout "Arianna, what happened to your foot?" I was relieved to see that the boys already had our bags and were waiting for us by the doors. They always seem to be in the right place to save the day.

"What happened to you," James asked squishing me next to him under the umbrella.

"I hurt my ankle. A stupid intern didn't bury a wire under the sand deep enough. I have to go get x-rays to check it out," I sighed leaning into his warm body.

"We'll just have to make a quick pit stop to the hospital on our way home. It's really no big deal," Amy said smiling at me. "I am in no hurry to get home and start unpacking. Your health is more important right now. That ankle of yours was the size of a basketball this morning."

"Put me down," I shrieked when James lifted me from the ground. "I'm very capable of walking myself."

"He puts you down then I'm picking you up. You cannot walk on that ankle Arianna," Carlos said looking at me concerned. He is almost like my second brother. I appreciated having a guy friend care for me as much as he did.

I looked at the Ace wrap on my foot and frowned at James. A severe sprain the doctor said when he looked at my x-ray. Now I was home sharing pizza with James, Amy and Carlos watching some ridiculous movie. I did not know or care what movie was on I was just happy to be home. Most of all happy to be home with James.

"I missed being able to enjoy your company," I breathed into James's ear.

"I know. I wish we never had to leave each other," James answered.

"I hate how our careers are constantly making us travel and leave the other behind. I wish I could bring you with me to all of the places I go."

"Could the two of you not be so lovey dovey? If this continues I'm going to bed," Amy sighed.

"And I'm going home," Carlos said while reaching for his bottle of water off the coffee table.

"I don't want to go to London next week. We just got home," Amy groaned. "It's barely enough time to enjoy being off."

Amy was right we barely have a week off before returning to filming on location. We lived everywhere but at home. Everywhere but where our family and friends are. Everyone wants to be rich and famous until they know what it takes to get that wealth and notoriety. At least this time we would only be gone for three short weeks and then return back to the states to finish filming in New York.

"It sure will be fun filming with this sprain. I should be able to walk a little bit easier next week. I will say I'm excited to see everyone but I don't want to leave home," I said grasping James's hand. "Aren't you guys going to Europe soon as well?"

"We're going sometime next month," James replied.

**Wow it's been a rather long time since my last update. I've been busier than ever (and my laptop died it was rather old then my new one crashed) and found a little bit of time to pop out a chapter from this brain of mine. This is going to be the last chapter of this part of Arianna's life. I've been throwing around this new idea while sitting in class. It's what I do when the information being lectured is boring.**


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